1AQUARIAN Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 I have a question as to how things are divided up in a divorce. We''ve been married almost 25 years, separated six weeks. I'm at the home with our two teenagers (our other two children are on their own). He is staying at his mom's. We discussed divorce before he left and he said, "I can have everything, house, car, etc......all he wants is his clothes and guitar". I'm sure he said that as he didn't think I would actually "separate". So, our house is in both our names. Been here ten years so it has some equity. He has the van which is owned free and clear(, I have a car with a new loan (just got it in Nov.). These are in both of our names. So, my question is this.....what are my options for the house? Do, We HAVE to sell it and divide it 50/50? Or are there other options? He didn't want us to "have anyone else involved", wanted "to work this out amongst us".....My husband doesn't like other people knowing our business, so I brought up uncontested divorce.......How would I do this? Do I have him right down what he wants? wants to do? etc.....and then take that to a lawyer? Can I really get the house as he put it?? Or is it automatically 50/50?? Right now he is still hoping for reconcillation......me I'm not feeling the same......he's an alcoholic, and I no longer have any trust for him, and don't think I'll EVER be able to forgive him for all the hurt, lies, etc over the years. Any responses would be greatly appreciated! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 You can find some information online which will give you limited insight into divorce law, state by state. Divorcenet.com is one such site. There are also books available and 'divorce kits'. I'm no expert...but I imagine you'll still need an attorney at some point. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 the house doesn't need to be sold if one of you is willing to buy the other one out. since you want the home, you will most likely have to give him his share of the equity in the house. and remove his name from the mortgage, if you have one. Link to post Share on other sites
burtjr Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 can i ask you a question i am going thry something similar to you and my wife tells me she can't trust me anymore because i tell out cerets to people at work and other things like that. what is trust to a woman and how should i go about getting it back is that possible i have been marriage for 38 years Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1AQUARIAN Posted March 30, 2006 Author Share Posted March 30, 2006 Thanks for the replies! LADYJANE-the site was pretty informative. AMAYSNGRACE-do you know how "buying him out" works? Do I have to have cash or is this added on the mortgage? I guess I do have to go see a lawyer as I have so many questions! I was jsut looking to see if anyone had already gone through this to give me some personal advice! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1AQUARIAN Posted March 30, 2006 Author Share Posted March 30, 2006 can i ask you a question i am going thry something similar to you and my wife tells me she can't trust me anymore because i tell out cerets to people at work and other things like that. what is trust to a woman and how should i go about getting it back is that possible i have been marriage for 38 years Burt, that's a "loaded question"! My husband is an alcoholic, so I'm not sure if the circumstances are the same. His trust was lost by LIEING to me about his drinking, SNEAKING to drink, HIDING his cans, STEALING checks and money from me to get his alcohol. There were many times He told me he was not drinking to "save our marriage"....and there were times I believed him, only to find out he was DECEIVING me all along! Even now, as we are separated and he is (supposedly) going to AA every night......I DON'T believe him! He MAY be, but he lied so much, I don't know if I'll EVER be able to believe him! So, I don't know if that helps you much, but I do know a wife SHOULD be able to KNOW when her husband tells her something, It is the truth!!! She should be able to trust him with her life!! And if you're telling her secrets to other people, she probably doesn't feel that! I guess you can try talking to her, tell her you realize you betrayed her trust by sharing her secrets, you are sorry, and you won't do it again.......then it's up to her if she can forgive you or not. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Definitely get a lawyer involved. Atleast to make everything legal. You dont want the ex coming after you a year or 5 from now demanding stuff back, or even alimony! As for the division of assets and how things get paid back, well, that's something you and your husband can discuss. But before discusing it, again, talk to your lawyer because he will be able to look at your situation and offer the best advice for you. Link to post Share on other sites
burtjr Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 thanks i am going to a counselor to try to over come my bad habits and hope she will work with me burt Link to post Share on other sites
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