Cyndyrr327 Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 My husband is pretty much emotionless. He has been for quite a while. After 20 years I can hardly tell when he’s happy, sad, nervous, etc. I’m 50 and don’t know if I want to live the rest of my life like this. Can anyone relate? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 What do you mean by emotionless? Is he depressed or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 OP, why are you still married to this guy? You have a thread from nearly six years ago that indicate a similar frustration. In that thread, you also mention contemplating divorce because you're not getting any younger. Is this really how you want to live? It sounds like the marriage has been over for a while and neither of you is willing to take the next step. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 M After 20 years I can hardly tell when he’s happy, sad, nervous, etc. Would have to have more information. Has he always been this way? Is he affectionate towards you? If you have kids, how is he with them? Any history of infidelity in your marriage? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cyndyrr327 Posted June 7, 2019 Author Share Posted June 7, 2019 OP, why are you still married to this guy? You have a thread from nearly six years ago that indicate a similar frustration. In that thread, you also mention contemplating divorce because you're not getting any younger. Is this really how you want to live? It sounds like the marriage has been over for a while and neither of you is willing to take the next step. OMG, r u serious? Do u have a link to it? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 When did he actually have the affair? How long did it last, how did you find out? Was this a one-off affair or is he a serial cheater? What were his reasons for seeking out another woman? In 2013 you say he retreats to his man cave was that new or was he always like this? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 OMG, r u serious? Do u have a link to it? You don’t need a link. Just tap your name then View profile then statistics then threads started by you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cyndyrr327 Posted June 7, 2019 Author Share Posted June 7, 2019 Omg I cannot believe it’s been that long!!! I think I needed that eye opener! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 OMG, r u serious? Do u have a link to it? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/433638-how-do-you-know-when-s-over I don't think it addresses your issues but my husband is quite stoic. He has emotions but he never shows them. I'm one of the few people he has ever let inside that particular set of walls. I had to get in between him & his mother at his grandmother's funeral. I knew he was grieving but his mom was giving him a rash of s**t for not being more upset. Link to post Share on other sites
Destiny Couple Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 What was your husband like before, like when you first met him, and started going out as a couple? Was he showing more emotions then? What is your lifestyle like with him; would it be exciting and spontaneous or would you consider it mundane and in a rut? Do you initiate to do things with him at all and do things together? Would love to hear your feedback. Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Recommend you try reading "For Women Only" and have him read "For Men Only" Many men are conditioned to be very stoic and deaden or hide their emotions or vulnerabilities. Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 Life is too short to spend it flat lined. I personally wouldn't want to spend my life with someone like that. There isn't any joy there. I'd make my own excitement / fun with or without him. Ask him what he wants and how he has fun these days. He is likely depressed or 'just going through the motions'. Either way, I suspect you will have to find your own solution - he is unlikely to become the life of the party just because you want him to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 Omg I cannot believe it’s been that long!!! I think I needed that eye opener! Exactly. Sometimes we don't realize how much we've shut down until you look up one day and realize 6 years has passed and you're still circling the same drain. Life is too short. Famous cliche but a cliche for a very good reason. If nothing has changed or improved in the last six years and you're STILL talking about the same problems, time to do something about it already! You either have to make a move to end this merry-go-round OR learn to live with things and carve out whatever happiness you can from where you are. Either way YOU have the power to dramatically change your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Partymix19 Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 How much do you nag him? How long is your honey do list? How often do you ask what HE wants to do or how HIS day is? Any guys I know that hide out from their wives do it to keep the peace. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mateo66 Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 Cuidado con una perra que se hace pasar por señora, su nombre es Diana Carolina Chafloque Navas. Ya sabemos que es amante de mi marido, deje de estar poniendo anuncios en páginas de porno con mi número, aquí la roba maridos, la golfa, la zorra, la cleptómana eres tú, no yo, deje de moléstame, ya te deje a ese sinvergüenza, así que déjeme en paz 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 Have you tried talking to him to figure out what is going on? I ask because there might be an underlying cause for his stoicism. He might be dealing with undiagnosed depression or other issues that aren't being addressed. In the last year of my marriage, I was told I was "emotionally unavailable" on many occasions. Stressors from work, the marriage, my ex-wife's MS, her crazy ex/stepsons' biological father, and just life itself sent me into a couple bouts of depression over that time. I recognized it and worked closely with a therapist and a shrink to get a handle on it. I conveyed all of this to my ex-wife (outside of discussing her MS; that was just a fact of life) but that didn't stop her from taking it personally. I'd get quiet and distant and then the accusations would start rolling out; "I'm nothing more than an obligation to you!", "You don't really love me, you love the thought of me!!". Needless to say, this wasn't helpful and I never felt like I had her support. I asked her for the support or to at least stop taking my depressive bouts as personal insults to her character but it didn't do any good. So, a vicious cycle ensued; I'd hit a slump, we'd fight, and I'd withdraw more from her. I tried not to but the bickering would frustrate me, send my mood to chit and I'd pull away. I'm not accusing you of any of my ex-wife's actions but there could be more going on than you know or that he's letting on. I suggest sitting down and talking to him to try and figure it out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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