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Did I do the right thing? Desperately seeking :(


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 12th March 2019, 7:51 PM   #31
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Not going to disagree, at least my traditional Chinese medicine doc seems to think so. I was taking the meds for a year to help me better ovulate, and he took it for 3 months and said gave him headaches and stopped.
The guy who left me at least partly because I didn't want kids, I ended up working with for 10 years so we were still up in each other's lives some. His second wife was a psycho and they tried and failed to get pregnant. Then she cheated on him and immediately got pregnant with the other man.

When he was on his 3rd wife, who was 10 years younger, he was mid-30s, and he had her so stressed out trying to have a kid. I remember she told me she was reading the Handmaid's Tale and loaned it to me and said that's what she felt like. I could only get through a quarter of the oppressive book before putting it down. Anyway, turned out HE was the culprit and it was because of him wearing tight jeans. Oh, boy, did I give him a hard time about that. I figured I was offending him but couldn't stop myself, but actually, it was the first time he'd been able to laugh about it. So from then on, it was mostly a pleated pant, but if he ever came in in jeans, I'd put on a Mr. Bill voice and be his sperm: "Oh, noooo, I'm smothering!"

They got pregnant with a lot of help and then froze some, and 15 years later, just when I thought it as safe to befriend him again, damned if they didn't decide to have one more. Lucky for him he got over his hip replacements well, because he still has a younger one to keep up with, but he's doing a good job, takes her camping and all kinds of fancy trips. So it worked out.
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Old 13th March 2019, 3:41 PM   #32
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He really needn't to do that, when i gave him all the blank forms i told him to just find a mediator and serve me the paper, no need to waste all that $ on a lawyer as I don't want anything, I will just sign it and let's both move on.
If he's got the assets you describe, he's not going to do a DIY divorce. He most likely already has an attorney for business matters, I'd guess he got referred through those channels.

You should really stop and think whether your interests might be better served through representation also...

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Old 13th March 2019, 5:05 PM   #33
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With assets like that a DIY divorce is going to be a disaster unless you really just let him have everything. Donít do that, get an attorney. I promise you will feel differently about this and him as time goes on. I would be super surprised if he doesnít get one, although my spouse doesnít have counsel even though we have substantial assets and none of it is his separate property. *shrug*
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Old 13th March 2019, 5:17 PM   #34
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I may be mistaken but I think the divorce is already a done deal.
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Old 13th March 2019, 5:28 PM   #35
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Re-reading the thread, I think my above post is wrong. I don’t think they’re divorced yet.

OP, don’t be silly by walking away with nothing. Get a lawyer.
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Old 13th March 2019, 5:31 PM   #36
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BR wouldn't worry about it too much, if she is in the states and the settlement is inequitable it can be revisited. Even years after the fact.
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Old 13th March 2019, 5:38 PM   #37
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With assets like that a DIY divorce is going to be a disaster unless you really just let him have everything. Donít do that, get an attorney. I promise you will feel differently about this and him as time goes on. I would be super surprised if he doesnít get one, although my spouse doesnít have counsel even though we have substantial assets and none of it is his separate property. *shrug*
My best friend actually works for a divorce attorney, she said being married for 1 year with no joint assets/account plus I work and make my own money, it's pretty pointless to go through an attorney.
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Old 13th March 2019, 5:41 PM   #38
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Re-reading the thread, I think my above post is wrong. I donít think theyíre divorced yet.

OP, donít be silly by walking away with nothing. Get a lawyer.
No, we're not divorced yet, not even legally separated.
I gave his apt key back to him and officially moved out 3 weeks ago, haven't heard a beep from him. I'm just wondering if I should reach out and say....hey? what's going on now? Did you file the papers?
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Old 13th March 2019, 5:43 PM   #39
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My best friend actually works for a divorce attorney, she said being married for 1 year with no joint assets/account plus I work and make my own money, it's pretty pointless to go through an attorney.
Why wouldnít you have joint assets? The two of you didnít own a house?
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Old 13th March 2019, 5:44 PM   #40
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No, we're not divorced yet, not even legally separated.
I gave his apt key back to him and officially moved out 3 weeks ago, haven't heard a beep from him. I'm just wondering if I should reach out and say....hey? what's going on now? Did you file the papers?
Why donít you just file and have him served?
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Old 13th March 2019, 6:00 PM   #41
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My best friend actually works for a divorce attorney, she said being married for 1 year with no joint assets/account plus I work and make my own money, it's pretty pointless to go through an attorney.


Meet with an attorney not someone giving legal advice without a license. Also If he earned money during the marriage that could be a joint asset.
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Old 13th March 2019, 6:22 PM   #42
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Why wouldnít you have joint assets? The two of you didnít own a house?
He never wanted to get a joint account or file tax together, he was always trying to protect himself for not getting a prenup.

He owned a house and I never asked to get a place together because all this time i was trying to hard to prove to him I didn't marry him for his $.
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Old 13th March 2019, 6:25 PM   #43
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Meet with an attorney not someone giving legal advice without a license. Also If he earned money during the marriage that could be a joint asset.
At this point i really don't care about any of those especially $, $ that I very well could earn on my own. I just want this thing to end as quickly and as painfully as possible. And because I still have alot of feelings for him, i really want him to just go through all the paperwork as I don't want to relive everything again.
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Old 20th March 2019, 10:23 AM   #44
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This is just a way to hang on to the marriage. You just donít want to admit it. Assuming your in the states, google the paper work for your state. You should be able to download it or pick up a divorce packet at the county courthouse.

You may still love him but why hang on to someone that has no love or respect for you. Heís probably already dating and looking for your replacement.

YOU DESERVE BETTER
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