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Considering divorce after 6 months of marriage


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Old 4th March 2019, 12:06 PM   #1
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Unhappy Considering divorce after 6 months of marriage

Me and my husband dated for almost 6 years before we got married.

We have now been married for 6 months and during that time I have found out a lot. I found out that he cheated on me 2 years into our relationship. He told me he was a virgin and this was important to me as being somewhat religious.

The cheating I brought up with him and he denied it. But I accepted that this happened a long time ago and he was a different person back then so I just accepted this and forgave him for it. As our relationship now is so good and I didnít want to throw that away.

But last night I found out his not a virgin and he doesnít know I know this, but it feels like I keep finding things and he isnít the man I thought I was marrying
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Old 4th March 2019, 12:13 PM   #2
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I don't put much value on virginity (but to each his/her own), but the cheating might do it for me.

Some points of clarification: you knew about the cheating but thought they didn't have sex? What did you think the cheating consisted of, exactly? Did he in fact have sex with this person? Under what circumstances did he lose his virginity, or was it with the person he cheated with?
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Old 4th March 2019, 4:30 PM   #3
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He denies the cheating, so how did you find out? Was it a reliable source? Chances are - once a cheater, always a cheater. If he stepped out on you two years ago, he will be inclined to do it again. Also be prepared because if he is willing to lie about that, what else is he willing to lie about? I am sorry you find yourself in this place. It will be hard to trust him ever again if you decide to stay.
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Old 4th March 2019, 4:32 PM   #4
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How does a person cheat and remain a virgin?
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Old 4th March 2019, 4:40 PM   #5
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Because you said your faith was important to you, if you think you may want to honor the vows you took, perhaps seek counseling from the officiant at your wedding. I fear you will find out a lot of bad things before this is over.
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Old 4th March 2019, 5:38 PM   #6
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How can you be married for six months and still be a virgin? He probably sees you have zero sexual desires and heís six and a half years pent up.

No offense but you donít sound like a very caring wife when you donít take his needs into consideration too. What did you expect?
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Old 4th March 2019, 6:05 PM   #7
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This is what I understand:

1. you had a 6-year dating period before marriage.
2. You got married on the premise that you were both virgin and you would lose your virginity to each other (which you have done, presumably?)
3. You found that he cheated (presumably kissing?) but you forgave him because it was 4 years ago and there was nothing physical.
4. Yesterday, you found out that he did in fact cheat and slept with another woman before your marriage.
5. You now realise that he is a liar, and you are worried about finding out more things about him.

I think you are probably justified in being worried, if all the things you keep finding out about him are true. How sure are you that he is lying?
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Old 4th March 2019, 6:19 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amaysngrace View Post
How can you be married for six months and still be a virgin? He probably sees you have zero sexual desires and heís six and a half years pent up.

No offense but you donít sound like a very caring wife when you donít take his needs into consideration too. What did you expect?
I think she means when she met him. He presented himself as a virgin at the start of their relationship, an important consideration to her in considering whether or not to get involved with him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reem90 View Post
M He told me he was a virgin and this was important to me as being somewhat religious.
Beyond the issue of truthfulness, it simply sounds like the two of you have very different values. You should consider compatibility as you ponder the future of your marriage...

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Old 8th March 2019, 9:05 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bathtub-row View Post
How does a person cheat and remain a virgin?
With unconstrained restraint, of course.
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