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Why wonít he cooperate with divorce he wanted?


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Old 15th February 2019, 7:15 AM   #46
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Maybe his reasons for not cooperating have to do with finances or something like that. If that's the case, I'm not in a position to say much on the subject.

If, on the other hand, he's just stonewalling to annoy you (passive aggression), then I can certainly speculate about that. Maybe his main goal is to piss you off. If you wanted the marriage, he'd have asked for a divorce. Since you want a divorce, he's doing his best to slow the process down and inconvenience you. Sometimes people are jerks like that. You would be best placed to say whether that was the sort of thing he was likely to do.
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Old 15th February 2019, 7:52 AM   #47
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Maybe his reasons for not cooperating have to do with finances or something like that. If that's the case, I'm not in a position to say much on the subject.
It might be because he just doesn’t want to put in the effort to do it, or maybe he’s using the time to try to hide some money. We can afford attorneys etc. that’s not the issue.

He does not want the marriage, and I did want the marriage. He just said he wouldn’t make any effort anymore, several times over a few weeks. And he was cheating and won’t admit it. So I filed. It just seems like what he wants right this instant is to act like we are divorced but not actually deal with getting a divorce? I don’t know.

He also won’t participate in deciding whether to do preschool or kindergarten for our son next year or weigh in on what to do about our taxes. When we moved out of our house he didn’t help me pack or divide things up. Or clean etc. All he wants to do is play with the kids and be super dad, he doesn’t take care of any of the business of ending the marriage.

Last edited by chryssy83; 15th February 2019 at 8:00 AM.. Reason: Clarify something
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Old 15th February 2019, 10:09 AM   #48
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He sounds lazy as hell.
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Old 15th February 2019, 10:32 AM   #49
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Yes, he sounds extremely selfish and there's always a chance of that being tied to a very spiteful personality you've never been a full witness too.

Stay on top of things, and where you get no response and need to take action on your own document it carefully, keeping a journal of how he was solicited, informed, and made aware of needs and deadlines. etc.

His lack of response means he's indifferent to you and when he pairs that lack of empathy with the right attorney things could turn extremely hostile and drag on for years.
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Old 15th February 2019, 1:34 PM   #50
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His lack of response means he's indifferent to you and when he pairs that lack of empathy with the right attorney things could turn extremely hostile and drag on for years.
Man the indifference is painful! Itís really hard knowing that I was married to someone who literally could not care less about me now.
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Old 15th February 2019, 3:02 PM   #51
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Perhaps, he'd been stringing the AP along with the promise of divorcing you and then marrying her, but he doesn't really want to do that yet, if at all . . . He told you he wanted one to give the impression that he was getting that ball rolling to appease the AP, but doesn't want it to get too real If that theory is correct, I'll bet money that he's telling her that you're the one dragging it out . . .

Last edited by Redhead14; 15th February 2019 at 3:07 PM..
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Old 15th February 2019, 3:45 PM   #52
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Perhaps, he'd been stringing the AP along with the promise of divorcing you and then marrying her, but he doesn't really want to do that yet, if at all . . . He told you he wanted one to give the impression that he was getting that ball rolling to appease the AP, but doesn't want it to get too real If that theory is correct, I'll bet money that he's telling her that you're the one dragging it out . . .
I have considered that possibility. If thatís the case he has to feel like heís in such a mess. He tells anyone who will listen that he has no feelings for the AP and it will never be anything. So heís not laying good groundwork for them to suddenly be engaged etc.
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Old 15th February 2019, 4:04 PM   #53
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I have considered that possibility. If thatís the case he has to feel like heís in such a mess. He tells anyone who will listen that he has no feelings for the AP and it will never be anything. So heís not laying good groundwork for them to suddenly be engaged etc.

He's probably feeling overwhelmed and just dissociating from the whole thing. He needs kick in the rear end. Subpoena the financial institutions directly - duces tecum, and get your lawyer to get on his lawyer to get on his client. And, I would up the ante on what you are "going after" if he doesn't start cooperating.
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Old 15th February 2019, 4:15 PM   #54
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He's probably feeling overwhelmed and just dissociating from the whole thing. He needs kick in the rear end. Subpoena the financial institutions directly - duces tecum, and get your lawyer to get on his lawyer to get on his client. And, I would up the ante on what you are "going after" if he doesn't start cooperating.
He wonít even hire a lawyer. Intends to stay pro se he says.
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Old 15th February 2019, 4:15 PM   #55
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Is it possible that he's been involved in things that are seriously illegal and is dragging his feet to either try to cover things up better and/or simply forestall being outted????
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Old 15th February 2019, 4:20 PM   #56
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He’s most likely doing it to be vindictive. That could be the same reason he cheated on you. This is what men do sometimes because they see divorce as failure and they don’t like to be perceived that way. Even if they brought it on themselves. They control and irritate through passive means.
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Old 15th February 2019, 4:23 PM   #57
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He wonít even hire a lawyer. Intends to stay pro se he says.

File for the divorce and let him drag his feet until it goes to default . . .
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Old 15th February 2019, 4:25 PM   #58
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Is it possible that he's been involved in things that are seriously illegal and is dragging his feet to either try to cover things up better and/or simply forestall being outted????
I sure hope not because heís in the financial industry and something like that could mean really bad news. But not gonna lie, the thought has occured to me. I think itís more likely he gave the AP money. She works for him.
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Old 15th February 2019, 4:27 PM   #59
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File for the divorce and let him drag his feet until it goes to default . . .

I did but when he was in default we asked him to file an answer because we need to be able to do discovery. Because there is money that isnít where it belongs.
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Old 15th February 2019, 4:31 PM   #60
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I did but when he was in default we asked him to file an answer because we need to be able to do discovery. Because there is money that isn’t where it belongs.

Ok, then he's doing illegal things??? Bring in investigators. Subpoena third parties. "Hey listen, Xname, you're hiding stuff. This can go easy or it can go hard. If you cooperate and fill us in on everything, we might overlook some stuff. If you force us to bring in investigators and subpoena third-parties, you're gonna have to deal with a higher power regarding whatever is found".

Last edited by Redhead14; 15th February 2019 at 4:39 PM..
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