Neko88 Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 (edited) Hey all, have recently seperated from my wife. She told me she didn't love me anymore, we tried to make it work again with counciling , she wasn't all in it and the smallest argument and she gave up (I have another thread "second chance at reconciliation" if you'd like a more in depth what's gone on. So we are now in a very strange place, my wife has just become cold and emotionless, like she has flicked a switch in her head. She's a different person towards me. You wouldn't believe we had just led 5 years of pretty much happy memories, we would rarely fall out over anything and never had large arguments. We have a daughter together too and are currently living together due to financial circumstances. Is this normal for the dumper to be this way? It's like I meant absolutey nothing to her, I'm so far down on her priority list now it's insane, I'm lucky to get a reply to a text or a good bye when I leave for work. Like one week full affection the next she won't touch me, flinches if we accidently touch when we pass etc. Is this her way of coping? Becuse honestly she seems quite content with the situation whilst I'm falling apart inside. It's very demoralising when the women you have loved for so long can suddenly treat you this way. We are like strangers and it's such a strange feeling, going from the strongest connection, to this. Edited February 2, 2019 by Neko88 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 I'm sorry Neko. From your previous post, it sounds like she's been trying to 'fake it to make it', but is unable to carry on the facade any longer. I've been there myself and the feeling is exactly like the switch you've describe. Have you spoken to a lawyer yet? If no, please do so. It's too cruel for both you and your daughter to be living in a toxic household. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 It's normal for a woman who is having an affair and is caught up in the thrill and excitement of the new guy to find her husband to be nothing more than an annoyance, or inconvenience. She'd be perfectly happy if you vanished from the face of the earth. Not much chance of saving this but one thing you can try is to break up the affair by telling the guys wife. It might or might not help- odds are she's in the same situation you are- watching her husband on the phone all day with some woman and having no concern for her. It's not much but it's all you got. If I was in your shoes I'd complete cut her off mentally and physically and focus on meeting someone else. But it's clear you are unable to do that, at least right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chryssy83 Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 First, where you are at emotionally it sucks if she’s cold and it sucks if she’s warm and happy. I am dealing with the total opposite of what you’re experiencing...he acts like he’s the happiest he’s ever been. Like he just opened an incredible gift but it’s every time we interact. It’s weird, but... It’s not better to have them be friendly. To that end, you can’t live together. As much as it stinks to start taking more permanent steps toward being apart for good, it feels way better to not be living together. We did it for a couple of months and the first night living apart felt like a huge weight had been lifted. You gotta get one of you out of there. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 She's already done her mourning and leaving the relationship. She's done. She's glad it's over and it's over for her. You shouldn't still be living together. How's that going to work when either of you starts dating? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 She's done. She does not want to play nice with you anymore. And if you've kept trying to reconcile and get back together, she may well feel that the ONLY way to get through to you that it's over is to be completely cold to you. She may even think that she's doing the kind thing here by making sure that she's giving you no hope. She is no longer your concern and she's trying to remind you of this. Don't analyse what she's doing and why. You need to worry about YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
sure2win Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 I went through a very similar situation. My stbx stated that she was being cold because she didn't want to give me false hope. We also had a great marriage that seemed to crumble very fast at the end. They always seem to have a plan B when they make their exit. Mine did. Sorry your going thu this Link to post Share on other sites
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