ShopGirl84 Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 My husband and I have mediation at the end of the month. He is NOW asking for a $250 fossil watch he's never owned saying he left it here when he left. It's a HUGE lie! He's also stating a small figure he bought was $70. I signed into his Ebay and tooka photo that it was ONLY $14. Can they give the lying partner their wants without proof? He never had a watch! We go to to fossil store.. and hed always look at it..but never bought it. Link to post Share on other sites
Nnam Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 This is really complicated, your mediation is still at the end of the month which is a bit far. Just explain to him gently that you didn't take his watch to avoid being beaten if he is the abusive type. You already have an evidence from the pics you took so my advice to you is to guard the evidence strongly cus you might need it to prove your point come month end. Stay safe. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 Mediators aren't judges, they can't give anyone anything. A mediator is there to facilitate communication and help you to come to a compromise that you're both happy with. If I was in mediation with someone who is bringing up such things I would tell him to stop being so damn petty and first come to agreement on the major things like the property, savings, debts, alimony etc. and then you can talk about inconsequential chattels afterwards. The only person who can give him anything is a judge, and if he asked a judge for a watch and a small figure the judge would tell him to stop being so damn petty. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bama Belle Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 I've seen only one "civil" divorce in my time. And it was because the man felt so guilty for having an affair, he just gave his wife everything. Now, he's 50 and living in an RV. When my ex and I broke up, he returned all my gifts except the expensive and really cool ones. But both my friends wife and my ex were hurt, she for being cheated on and he for being left. Maybe your husband is hurt. I don't know and I can't stand it when people jump to conclusions. Just steel yourself and take it as it comes. Good luck and remember, this too shall pass. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 I wouldn't tip your husband off, but I would suggest to the mediator or attorney if you can take one that he/she ask him to produce photos of him wearing the watch or a receipt. If he bought the watch, he would have it on a charge card or reflected on his bank account, most likely. It's a reasonable request. If he says you gifted it to him, it should be on your account. Also, have you two ever had to take a pictorial or video inventory of your belongings for home insurance? I have. So if you have one of those stashed somewhere like a safe deposit box, go take it out and save it for evidence at the hearing. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Mediation is ordered because the two people can't reach terms on their own. Don't talk to your ex about it at all, just talk to your attorney. A person can make a lot of claims but your ex needs to show proof. I honestly doubt the courts give a fig about a watch and figurine. If they do, tell your attorney that you can't produce something that doesn't exist, and show the receipt for the figurine. It's not so much about the cost of the figurine, it's more about how you can decide to split your property. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShopGirl84 Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 Thanks guys. Thankfully we have no shared property. He stole $3400 from me and yes, i can prove it. He is in another state and has a protection order on me... the paper states I emotionally abused him and threatened him when I was on ambien. So I cant talk to him or anything. I have to be on the phone for mediation. I am nervous because I sent my proof in about everything and I am hoping they have it! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 If I were you I would simply withdraw from mediation and use a lawyer instead. It doesn't seem to be working how it should, so no sense continuing. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Sometimes it is better to give in on small stupid stuff just to get it over and done with. Sure, it's a lie, they're scamming you, but in the long run, a $250 watch is a lot cheaper than lawyer time. However, this only works if you can get him to make a final offer. If he'll give you everything else you want in exchange for you buying him a stupid watch, buy him the watch, let him feel like he won, because you win by getting out of there. What you DON'T want is for this to be the tip of the iceberg and for him to start asking for more and more ridiculous things. So don't give in right now. Compile the final list and argue over the final list. (As for the ebay thing, if he paid $14 for it but it would cost $70 to replace, he's not in the wrong.) Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Don't engage him. Have him send a list of what he claims you have to his attorney. Review the list with your attorney and prepare for mediation. You have no reason to engage your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Look into getting a "forensic accountant" if all this silly BS continues, get screenshots and copies of purchases, you will probably need your own lawyer in addition to the mediation if this rolls onto larger dollar amounts. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts