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I'd like to think I'm an idiot for trying


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Hello all.

I posted awhile back about my (ex) wife asking for divorce back in January. So, I havent been on since then and I just want to come back and kind of ask you all for your opinions.

My ex left me and our 3 young kids in early march into an apartment. I found out in April that she moved in with another man. So I was in complete and utter distraught.

I was finally getting over her and what she had done to me which keep in mind, I've developed severe depression from all of this and even though I was over her, some days the depression would just still take me over.

I get a phone call from her in early July that she regrets what she did, shes kicking the other boyfriend out and she was to focus on us and start working on us as a couple again. STUPID ME, i agreed to do it... things were going super well, we were having sex, going out as a family again, basically everything a couple would do beside her moving back home. Well, this last week I noticed she was acting distant so I asked her about it when she came to pick up the kids and she told me she wants to put things on "hold" between us. WTF! When she hit me with that I began to get so mad- but not at her, more at myself for falling into her trap. Any advice would help at this point, like I said I'm just more upset at myself that I believed her and just got pushed to the side yet again. All I guess I can do now is focus the best I can on my 3 babies. Thanks for any advice on this...

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Her boyfriend dumped her and you were just a rebound. Either he came back or she found another. You were just a dormat and only needed for a short time. Then discarded.

 

More advice? Why? You never listened before. Why would that change now?

 

My thoughts are you are her puppet on a string.

 

If you really want to make a change here's how.

 

Cut off all unnecessary contact.

 

Never answer her phone calls direct. Only reply by text for kids only. Ignore anything else. Any pickups or drop offs should be a 3 minute exercise. Zero engagement.

 

Advice only works you apply it.

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Marc's advice is spot on. You are an alternative for her when her first choice isn't working out. Not to mention, I have little respect for a woman who can so easily walk out on her three children. If I were their father, I would have even less respect for her. Clearly, you need to be the stable parent for your children, starting right now.

 

No contact, no taking her back, just everything related to her is a big NO!

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