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Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 29th March 2019, 9:26 PM   #46
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So wait, you're 57 now and been together since you're 22?
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Old 30th March 2019, 4:48 AM   #47
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Until she shows up at your door, wanting to "work things out" ...

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She is too proud to do that and she won't have sex with me, so it's out of the question. I don't want her back and start the endless push and pull of our relationship. I'm not interested. I'm done.
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Old 30th March 2019, 4:49 AM   #48
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So wait, you're 57 now and been together since you're 22?
I'm 55... and yes, we've been together since we were 22... 33 years... what's so strange?
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Old 30th March 2019, 5:47 AM   #49
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I'm 55... and yes, we've been together since we were 22... 33 years... what's so strange?

Nothing. I have an unorthodox opinion, but I think after a couple has been together for a while, they naturally start to become like roommates or like BFF's if they have an especially emotionally close relationship. Sex and passion tapers way off. Some (most?) couples are okay with this and get on just fine, because they have other reasons to stay married, but if you have any fire or passion left in you, then you're going to struggle with long-term marriage and make too much of a fuss and end up divorced.
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Old 30th March 2019, 6:36 AM   #50
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Nothing. I have an unorthodox opinion, but I think after a couple has been together for a while, they naturally start to become like roommates or like BFF's if they have an especially emotionally close relationship. Sex and passion tapers way off. Some (most?) couples are okay with this and get on just fine, because they have other reasons to stay married, but if you have any fire or passion left in you, then you're going to struggle with long-term marriage and make too much of a fuss and end up divorced.
I don't think it's unorthodox... it happens, but at 55 I think it's a bit too early... I'm pretty sure my parents were having sex in their sixties... we've been struggling for the last 15 years (at least), so this is no news. What I find disrespectful is that she withdrew the sex part without even consulting with me. She presented it as a de facto situation... also, she has said things that have put me off having sex with her ever again. So, we are separating.
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Old 30th March 2019, 7:05 AM   #51
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I don't think it's unorthodox... it happens, but at 55 I think it's a bit too early... I'm pretty sure my parents were having sex in their sixties... we've been struggling for the last 15 years (at least), so this is no news. What I find disrespectful is that she withdrew the sex part without even consulting with me. She presented it as a de facto situation... also, she has said things that have put me off having sex with her ever again. So, we are separating.

55 is not too early. This stuff happens to couples in their 20's even. And it's mutual. You just had fire and your wife didn't.


So you're not even separated yet? Why haven't you done it yet?
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Old 30th March 2019, 7:47 AM   #52
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55 is not too early. This stuff happens to couples in their 20's even. And it's mutual. You just had fire and your wife didn't.


So you're not even separated yet? Why haven't you done it yet?
The thing is, we were having great sex before she pulled the plug. Admittedly, not very often but it was enough for me. I just don't get it. It's not like she hated it...

We are not separated yet because I was waiting for my little kid to go to uni in September... I said I would wait to see what happens... without giving a deadline. So I will wait a little bit longer. I think I owe it to her. I doubt very much anything is going to happen. She won't change her mind and it's too late anyway. I'm not going back to her. It's just matter of finding the strength to tell her, with all the drama and sadness that that will entail.
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Old 30th March 2019, 7:56 AM   #53
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The thing is, we were having great sex before she pulled the plug. Admittedly, not very often but it was enough for me. I just don't get it. It's not like she hated it...

We are not separated yet because I was waiting for my little kid to go to uni in September... I said I would wait to see what happens... without giving a deadline. So I will wait a little bit longer. I think I owe it to her. I doubt very much anything is going to happen. She won't change her mind and it's too late anyway. I'm not going back to her. It's just matter of finding the strength to tell her, with all the drama and sadness that that will entail.

You have a loooong way to go.
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Old 30th March 2019, 7:58 AM   #54
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You have a loooong way to go.
I'm aware of that...
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Old 30th March 2019, 8:07 AM   #55
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But it's also true that, for the first time in years, I feel I can finally detach and start from scratch. I've been waiting for this moment for months and months and I thought it would never happen.
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Old 31st March 2019, 12:04 AM   #56
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Nothing. I have an unorthodox opinion, but I think after a couple has been together for a while, they naturally start to become like roommates or like BFF's if they have an especially emotionally close relationship. Sex and passion tapers way off. Some (most?) couples are okay with this and get on just fine, because they have other reasons to stay married
Hereís what you donít understand - and I didnít either at your age.

In my 60ís, my relationship goals no different than they were in my 30ís. Within the context of age, I want to be the best emotional, sexual and life partner to my spouse I can be. Apathy isnít a consequence, itís a choice like everything else in life. The person Iíve chosen to spend my life with deserves better...

Mr. Lucky
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Old 31st March 2019, 7:41 AM   #57
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Hereís what you donít understand - and I didnít either at your age.

In my 60ís, my relationship goals no different than they were in my 30ís. Within the context of age, I want to be the best emotional, sexual and life partner to my spouse I can be. Apathy isnít a consequence, itís a choice like everything else in life. The person Iíve chosen to spend my life with deserves better...

Mr. Lucky

I never said I approve of the form of relationship I described. I don't, and would never be in a marriage like that. It's still very common though.
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Old 20th April 2019, 3:45 AM   #58
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Everything is out and everybody knows now. My eldest daughter told everybody. My wife knows everybody knows. I guess we can separate officially earlier than I thought and I can have my life back... feels good...

Last edited by giotto; 20th April 2019 at 3:48 AM..
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Old 20th April 2019, 8:31 AM   #59
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Too bad it had to be your kid with the guts to break the news.
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Old 20th April 2019, 8:42 AM   #60
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Too bad it had to be your kid with the guts to break the news.
It's not matter of "guts"... she decided to tell everybody because my wife kept lying to them and her sisters about our relationship. So she put the record straight, without consulting me... I didn't know she was telling lies to everyone...
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