Jump to content

Am I better of a Quitter?


Recommended Posts

sadipeterson

"Sometimes love is intoxicating, when you realized there's no one waiting" heard this from a song and it got me to discern. It was started last 2 weeks ago, as usual, we did our daily routine which is doing each of our job, and just mostly have a formal conversation and cheap chat when we're about to sleep. I guess this is the main reason that we're not on the proper aspect of 5-years of being together, to have a little time on each other. Basically, we don't have really much of the conflicts around that's why until now, it always keeps on my mind all of the "Why's". It just happened very fast, she said that night that she wants to stop for a bit on what we are having. And to make a conclusion and make the details in the simplified form; She already filed a legal divorce. For me, maybe I did all the of the possible solutions and ways to recover our relationship, but she still wants to go for the separation. Do I run out of ideas or I just need to accept the fact on the current time? (Informally, it's embarrassing for me but I'm open for any suggestion) And if so, I'm concerned about the future possibilities of how I'm going to manage and pre-planned to go on a legal process of divorce.

 

Highly appreciated for the time guys and much more to ideas and comments!

Link to post
Share on other sites

A little difficult to understand the timeline of events and source of the conflict between the two of you.

 

When someone is married more to the job than to the partner, it becomes easy to blur the lines between personal and professional relationships. So the first thing I'd do is some digging to rule out another man - check your phone bill, email, social media, etc. for unusual or telling activity.

 

Most people don't jump so abruptly from a marriage without a place to land. Keep posting, let us know how it goes...

 

Mr. Lucky

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

People don't suddenly decide they want a divorce. She has most likely been unhappy for a while.

 

You can ask her if she can pinpoint what went wrong & offer to fix it. This will most likely entail marriage counseling.

 

 

If she doesn't agree to MC, you will need to consult a lawyer soon.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like she hasn't been happy in a while, and maybe what was good enough for you wasn't enough for her. But the only thing I can think of is to offer for you both to try marital counseling just so you know you tried. I'm sorry. Sounds like maybe you're not connecting enough for her or something, but hard to say. Anyway, I wish you luck. See if she wants to try counseling.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
sadipeterson

First of all, great thanks for all the concerns and ideas that you guys made up.

 

And yes, come to think of, it is mostly all of my doings. That's why for all of your comments it definitely gave me a realization, I could say that I was so self and job centered at all.

 

For now, she's still on her family and yeah, maybe I should confront her personally soon and ask a breakdown detail by detail of the events and problems that we're facing.

 

P.S. (maybe this sound so pessimistic) in case, we'll lead to the legal divorce, what are the things I need to prepare and consider?

Link to post
Share on other sites
PegNosePete
in case, we'll lead to the legal divorce, what are the things I need to prepare and consider?

Best to ask this question to a lawyer. They can tell you everything you need to know. Many do a FREE initial consultation so there's really no reason not to do it. At this stage you're just gathering information so better to do it sooner rather than later. It might prevent you making some common mistakes (eg. moving out of the house).

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, talk to an attorney early rather than later so he can help advise about protecting assets, what behavior you need to exhibit, whether to communicate, whether to date or have other people around kids, etc. It's a lot, but if it does go to divorce, that period when you prepare to file and then the months and months until it's final are pretty oppressive. You are better off not doing much except working and not getting angry at the ex and the like, better off not complicating things with dating, etc., but that is mainly IF you have kids. It's not as stick if there's no kids. If there are kids, it remains sticky and you are subject to scrutiny even after divorce and custody is set.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...