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Any positive results of separations, reconciling?


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 7th December 2017, 7:41 AM   #1
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Any positive results of separations, reconciling?

Has anyone separated and reunited with significant other?.
If so, how did ya do it?
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Old 7th December 2017, 7:55 AM   #2
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No, and I never would.

Relationships are not fixed by separation, time apart or one party going off to "find themselves". If she says that to you, show her a mirror.

When one party chooses separation over staying to work on the marriage, it almost always means the marriage is dead.

There are a few exceptions of course, and everyone thinks they are the exception. Most people are wrong.

If you want to save your marriage then agreeing to a separation is one of the least effective ways to do it.
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Old 7th December 2017, 9:05 AM   #3
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First off, you need to ask...

First off, you need to ask...

Why does she want to separate? And PNP is totally correct separation almost never fixes the marriage.

More info about the whole situation would be helpful.

What PNP did not say is that if she asked for the separation, then more than likely, she is having an affair and she wants more freedom to spend time with her other man (OM) with out your interference...
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Old 7th December 2017, 9:30 AM   #4
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Quote:
Any positive results of separation

The only separation I had ended in a divorce so yeah, that was positive for sure.. without divorcing her I would never had met my current wife and had a child...

It's all in how you look at it...
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Old 7th December 2017, 10:19 AM   #5
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Do not separate. Separation does not repair anything.

Dollars to doughnuts, when a wife wants a separation
it is because she wants her BH out of the way so she can
cheat full time to test out your replacement.

Instead learn how to fix what you have and go detective
mode cause she is having an affair.
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Old 7th December 2017, 10:52 AM   #6
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You might as well just say "don't separate, divorce" because if your reaction to the request is to assume that she's a liar and a cheat and start stalking her, your relationship is definitely over whether she is or isn't (And she might be).

Most of the time a separation request means one of these things:
1. I want to try out dating this new person and see if they're better than you before pulling the plug entirely
2. Living with you is awful but I'm not sure I can manage on my own, I want to ease my way into being independent
3. Living with you is awful but I'm not sure YOU can manage on your own, I want to slowly ease us apart and hope you don't have a huge breakdown
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Old 7th December 2017, 12:18 PM   #7
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You might as well just say "don't separate, divorce" because if your reaction to the request is to assume that she's a liar and a cheat and start stalking her, your relationship is definitely over whether she is or isn't (And she might be).

Most of the time a separation request means one of these things:
1. I want to try out dating this new person and see if they're better than you before pulling the plug entirely
2. Living with you is awful but I'm not sure I can manage on my own, I want to ease my way into being independent
3. Living with you is awful but I'm not sure YOU can manage on your own, I want to slowly ease us apart and hope you don't have a huge breakdown
My scanerio is more in line with 2. Our relationship is very good, believe it or not. We are not acting like a sterotypical separation. Not thinking we will get back together. Actually accepting whats happening.
I am focusing my relationship with daughter n grandbaby..
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Old 7th December 2017, 2:07 PM   #8
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I know a lot of people who separated, reconciled, and then split for good. I know two couples who divorced and reconciled until death did them part.
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Old 8th December 2017, 5:01 AM   #9
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Our relationship is very good, believe it or not.
No, I don't believe it. If it was good then you wouldn't be separated.
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Old 8th December 2017, 5:52 AM   #10
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No, I don't believe it. If it was good then you wouldn't be separated.
I meant we get along. We dont fight, argue etc. We are pretty mature about the whole dang thing.
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Old 9th December 2017, 7:21 PM   #11
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I know a lot of people who separated, reconciled, and then split for good. I know two couples who divorced and reconciled until death did them part.
2 couples done that? Really?
That you know?
What are the chances of that?
And they all died?
Even bigger odds going on now
OP....Pegnose is right. I've got a chicken that's gone off in my fridge
Wanna buy it? No? Why not?
Shall i ask you in 2 weeks time? Would you buy it then?
Course not. Same with separating with someone.
They are off the menu. Why go and eat something that was rancid before..it won't get better with time...
aM
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Old 9th December 2017, 7:39 PM   #12
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2 couples done that? Really?
That you know?
What are the chances of that?
And they all died?
Even bigger odds going on now
OP....Pegnose is right. I've got a chicken that's gone off in my fridge
Wanna buy it? No? Why not?
Shall i ask you in 2 weeks time? Would you buy it then?
Course not. Same with separating with someone.
They are off the menu. Why go and eat something that was rancid before..it won't get better with time...
aM
I know this is digressing a little, but many couples stayed together due to society, vows etc back in the day. Now society embraces divorces, separations as not such a bad thing.
Regardless, I will always love my wife..
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Old 9th December 2017, 7:59 PM   #13
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There is one here on LoveShack (DKT ?) that divorced and later remarried again (1-3 years?) on this board.

I dont know any others personally.
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Old 11th December 2017, 11:50 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by Steve40th396 View Post
Now society embraces divorces, separations as not such a bad thing.
Yes. Your marriage is over. You might as well embrace it. It's not as socially unacceptable as it once was.

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Originally Posted by Steve40th396 View Post
Regardless, I will always love my wife..
No, you won't.

Last edited by PegNosePete; 11th December 2017 at 11:53 AM..
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Old 11th December 2017, 12:27 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by PegNosePete View Post


No, you won't.
I will. Love means many things/some different, to many people
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