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Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 16th November 2017, 3:55 PM   #31
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I had a buddy in college that was in the same boat. She made him take her to Las Vegas and then while there broke up with him, changed rooms with theOM! lol WTF?! He was crushed. Had to be the longest red-eye flight home in history...

GET OUT NOW! KICK HER TO THE CURB! She thinks your the cuckhold...
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Old 18th November 2017, 3:38 AM   #32
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Update!

I am floored! You guys are completely spot on with everything you have said! I officially found the text and facebook posts between the two. She is ****ing her co-worker, but he doesn't know that she is ****ing me at the same time LOL! I feel so ****ing free now, and you were right, she talked **** on all the nice things I had been doing for her. I am a little shocked that a woman I thought was so close, could turn to a complete stranger and start talking ****. NOW ITS TIME TO HAVE FUN! She talked to him about her taking a vacation to Texas to see our newborn nephew, what he doesn't know is that she has invited me! I'm going to go, on her dime, and I am going to take pictures the whole time and post them on Facebook! Oddly, I feel liberated!
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Old 18th November 2017, 6:15 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by dannyStL View Post
I am floored! You guys are completely spot on with everything you have said! I officially found the text and facebook posts between the two. She is ****ing her co-worker, but he doesn't know that she is ****ing me at the same time LOL! I feel so ****ing free now, and you were right, she talked **** on all the nice things I had been doing for her. I am a little shocked that a woman I thought was so close, could turn to a complete stranger and start talking ****. NOW ITS TIME TO HAVE FUN! She talked to him about her taking a vacation to Texas to see our newborn nephew, what he doesn't know is that she has invited me! I'm going to go, on her dime, and I am going to take pictures the whole time and post them on Facebook! Oddly, I feel liberated!
OK, but you are not really liberated are you?
You still have a huge problem on your hands.
Stop messing around taking pics and posting on FB and go see a lawyer and sort out your finances and rights as YOUR KIDS are going to be depending on YOU and by the sound of things ONLY YOU.
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Old 18th November 2017, 7:40 AM   #34
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He isn't going the TX, she is playing both of you...

Don't stoop that low as it will bite you when it comes time to be in front of a judge to deal with child support and visitation.
Remember that you are not married.

Time to go get legal help and listen to them on how to protect yourself an how to exit this relationship with the best possible outcome for the children
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Old 18th November 2017, 8:42 PM   #35
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Danny now you know, it's time to get your protection in place, see a lawyer, change your accounts, go along with her saying she will be gone, make it easy for her to leave.
You can even file for divorce have her served, I bet this co-worker never sighed up for keeps...hence the note.
When he realizes your out, he will be scared knowing she is his problem.
My guess is he will bolt, sit back watch the show explode for her.
Affairs are only good in fantasy land when that reality slaps it in the face it's a whole other story.
I think while she is agreeable you get the custody of your children signed up.
She is classic, feeling confident playing both ends of the stick in case it doesn't work out.
Just live your life, make her believe you have moved on yourself, go out, look good all the time, smell good.
My guess is she is doing a lot of comparing be better than him, in every way.
As far as getting revenge or playing games never a good thing, your better than that. You can post photos of your family on your page. But no comments,
You be the better person for your kids, eventually that will be important for you to act like the better parent even though your life is being ripped apart....
For now, just sit back, watch it explode.
I think your wife is going to learn a huge lesson about affairs.
Giving up everything for someone not worth squat.
Truth brings clarity.
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Old 18th November 2017, 9:08 PM   #36
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Truth

I appreciate your words. I noticed on the call logs tonight that she has been trying to teach him and he's ignoring her, so she is here with me. I sm slowly selling things around the house to build an escape fund. I am keeping all the equity in the house. She is going to be lucky if the guy allows her to move in with him and his two kids in their 2 bedroom apt.
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Old 18th November 2017, 9:11 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by dannyStL View Post
I am floored! You guys are completely spot on with everything you have said! I officially found the text and facebook posts between the two. She is ****ing her co-worker, but he doesn't know that she is ****ing me at the same time LOL! I feel so ****ing free now, and you were right, she talked **** on all the nice things I had been doing for her. I am a little shocked that a woman I thought was so close, could turn to a complete stranger and start talking ****. NOW ITS TIME TO HAVE FUN! She talked to him about her taking a vacation to Texas to see our newborn nephew, what he doesn't know is that she has invited me! I'm going to go, on her dime, and I am going to take pictures the whole time and post them on Facebook! Oddly, I feel liberated!
KEEP YOUR COOL. Act as if she's got her iPhone on "record" every single time you talk. You don't want to mess anything up with regard to child custody.
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Old 18th November 2017, 9:55 PM   #38
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Thanks for the post, I hear everything your saying, and have already started preparing my finances for the end result. Whats jacked up is she wants to stay in the house until May, and she wants to be my friend. She says she loves me, I am the father of her children, that we will always be in each others lives, blah blah blah, but she is calling this ****tard every day. I am angry, and my anger has me on the verge of doing **** I shouldn't. If she would just leave it would be better, I wouldn't see her ****. The problem is she wants to stay until May telling me that the kids need to finish the school year. I explained that the kids will be ****ed up no matter what time of year it is. For 13 years we told them what was happening to their friends, would never happen to us, that we were a team, all B.S. I offered to sell the house and give her half the equity $50,000 and she could go on her way, she freaked out and said "do whatever the **** you want then". Why, if you don't love me, would you not take the $50,000 and leave? We live in a neighborhood that is highly desireable, so our house would be sold in less than 30 days. I hurt because of all that we shared, and now all that sharing seems like a lie, and how can a woman leave her kids?
Pure and typical cheater script. And you are in deep denial.

Better wake up. Her actions tell you the truth but you refuse to believe it.

If he's married inform his wife without warning.
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Old 18th November 2017, 9:57 PM   #39
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Stop with the mr nice guy. Put her ass on the couch
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Old 18th November 2017, 10:02 PM   #40
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I can't let go, as angry as I am she is returning home to our house every night. I check the phone bill and she is talking to the guy for at least an hour a day. I spent last night cooking her dinner and laying in bed with her rubbing her feet and back, only to have her wake up 4 hours later and say "are you going to be sleeping in here every night now" in an angry tone. Next thing I know she throws a pillow at my face. Now she wants to go get breakfast together. Yesterday I thought I was beginning to have this licked, today I feel I was set back days on end. Not to mention I only slept an hour last night because I laid by her and stared at her for 8 hours straight (creepy huh). Now she is getting ready for work, the kids are gone to school, and I took off work because I'm wired from not sleeping. I am going to be sitting her all day thinking about her while she works with this guy. I think I'm going nuts. Ohhh and she got paid, she worked 40 hours of straight time and 60 hours of overtime in a 2 week period, so she really was working when she said she was, of course he works there too at lest 2 days a week, and works from home the other 2.
Better wake up. You are doing the "pick me dance" trying to nice her back and all that does is lower your status and creates even less respect for you.

Obviously you aren't listening to very good advice.

You are going to get more of what you've already gotten.

Better change your strategy.

She a very typical cake eating cheater. Nothing special at all. They always follow the same pattern.
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Old 19th November 2017, 2:39 AM   #41
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oh my goodness, I know you already got a lot of advice here from the guys, but as a woman, I am appalled at how this woman is treating you...please get out, I know it must be SO hard after being with someone for 13 years, but do not go to Texas with her, you need to kick her to the curb and keep some of your integrity, do not allow her to keep playing these games with you, you sound like a good man and there will be women out there who will be able to recognize that...this woman is not who you thought she was.
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Old 19th November 2017, 6:01 AM   #42
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I am keeping all the equity in the house.
Can you actually do that?
Even although you are not married the law may still apply and she will no doubt have rights after living together as man and wife for the past 13 years, and you have children together too.
Assume nothing, consult a lawyer before you do anything.
We have had men here kick cheating women out to find they had no legal right to do so and some have found themselves on the wrong side of the law too when they tried to forcibly remove their wives/parters.
Do not listen to those here who would wind you up.
Getting angry and seeking "revenge" will do you no good here in the long term. You have children together you need to be civil for their sake.

Be calm and cool, know your rights and act accordingly.
Yes she may be stupidly loved up and be acting impulsively but you have to consider that she may be way ahead of you in this game.
You need to be clever here and letting your emotions get ahead of you will do you no favours.
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Old 19th November 2017, 11:53 AM   #43
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Can you actually do that?
Even although you are not married the law may still apply and she will no doubt have rights after living together as man and wife for the past 13 years, and you have children together too.
Assume nothing, consult a lawyer before you do anything.
We have had men here kick cheating women out to find they had no legal right to do so and some have found themselves on the wrong side of the law too when they tried to forcibly remove their wives/parters.
Do not listen to those here who would wind you up.
Getting angry and seeking "revenge" will do you no good here in the long term. You have children together you need to be civil for their sake.

Be calm and cool, know your rights and act accordingly.
Yes she may be stupidly loved up and be acting impulsively but you have to consider that she may be way ahead of you in this game.
You need to be clever here and letting your emotions get ahead of you will do you no favours.
I agree with Elaine. If your partner is joint owner with you, you won't be able to keep all the equity unless she agrees to that. My ex H tried that back when I told him I wanted a divorce in 1993...in the end, I got all the equity and he got the house. He ended up better off in the long run as the house is now worth 10 times what we paid for it.
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Old 19th November 2017, 2:07 PM   #44
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House is in my name only
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Old 19th November 2017, 3:14 PM   #45
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House is in my name only
You're going to see an attorney, right?
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