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Will this work as a divorce agreement?

Sherman67

By Sherman67,
in Separation and Divorce

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Sherman67

Sherman67

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My wife of 20 years and I have agreed to divorce. We have 3 children (17, 14, and 11). We live in California. We have moved around a lot so we both want to make this transition as smooth as possible for the kids, so we would like them to stay in the house. The mortgage is in my wife and my name. The problem is we can’t afford to continue paying the mortgage and me find my own place with our current financial state. Since we live in Northern San Diego county,CA, we want to come to an agreement without a lawyer. She makes about $40k more than I do yearly. Our plan before we file for divorce is to file for bankruptcy and discharge everything except the house and the three car loans. Let her keep the house and two of the cars. The 17 year old drives one of car which helps with school pickups and drop offs especially since we don’t have school buses. I would give my wife $750/month towards the mortgage and not accept alimony. I would pay this until the 11 year finishes high school. Then the house would be sold and we would split what’s left. I currently pay for health insurance for the kids through my job so I would continue to do that. I also plan to stay in the same town so I can be near the kids. This would be documented in the agreement.

 

I would like to know if there are any issues with this plan that could come back to bite me?

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Nobody except a lawyer licensed in California can or should give you valid legal advice.

 

Divorces get expensive when the people fight over every little thing. If you already agree, the legal fees shouldn't be too high.

 

Paying a lawyer to get this right seems like a better way then taking multiple days off from work, screwing it up & then having to pay a lawyer to fix it.

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Art_Critic

Art_Critic

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A judge will most likely also want child support to be part of the agreement in order for them to sign off on it in the divorce.

 

Filing for bankruptcy today is different than it used to be, you can't just walk away like you used to do and a judge has to allow you to file as well.

So you will most likely also have to pay towards your debt that is being restructured.

 

I would seek an attorney and pronto and don't sign anything or create anything for her to sign unless an attorney who you have hired looks at it first.

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clia

clia

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You can probably make an agreement about your divorce and custody without an attorney, but you would be foolish to file bankruptcy without speaking to an attorney to understand all of the ramifications.

 

Is there equity in the house? Rather than filing for bankruptcy, why not just sell it, split the proceeds, and then you can each rent either a two or three bedroom apartment and take 1 or 2 of the kids, since you plan to live in the same city anyway.

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Sherman67

Sherman67

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A judge will most likely also want child support to be part of the agreement in order for them to sign off on it in the divorce.

 

Filing for bankruptcy today is different than it used to be, you can't just walk away like you used to do and a judge has to allow you to file as well.

So you will most likely also have to pay towards your debt that is being restructured.

 

I would seek an attorney and pronto and don't sign anything or create anything for her to sign unless an attorney who you have hired looks at it first.

 

I think we will list the $750 that I will provide as child support. In regards to the bankruptcy, the plan is to file together and have it resolved before we file for divorce. We would be using a lawyer for the bankruptcy.

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Sherman67

Sherman67

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You can probably make an agreement about your divorce and custody without an attorney, but you would be foolish to file bankruptcy without speaking to an attorney to understand all of the ramifications.

 

Is there equity in the house? Rather than filing for bankruptcy, why not just sell it, split the proceeds, and then you can each rent either a two or three bedroom apartment and take 1 or 2 of the kids, since you plan to live in the same city anyway.

 

Oh yes, we will be using a lawyer for the bankruptcy. Not much equity in the house. I thought we would sell the house but my wife made a good point that the kids need to be grounded. We have moved 3 times in the last 5 years (including the big move from the east coast). They need some stability especially with 2 of them in high school.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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They will still have stability in a smaller house in the same school district. Stability comes from knowing they have parents who love them, not their address.

 

Are you sure the custodial parent will be able to afford the upkeep on the house -- AC, repairs etc.?

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Rockdad

Rockdad

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It's good you are attempting to work things out amicably. There are many details that need to be legally documented for when you two are not being amicable in the future. Visitation schedule, transportation of the children for visits, holidays, vacations, who claims the tax credits, what if either one of you decide to relocate to a different state or long distance away, higher education expense details, health care and the list goes on.

 

Having been through this I found that money spent on an atty was smartest move I made. I don't know in your state if your being accurate to end support when the kids are out of high school. It certainly isn't in mine.

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mikeylo

mikeylo

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Everything seems agreeable till it gets enforced ! Don't just sign anything without professional guidance. There are many loopholes that will come head on later.

 

What happens when one of you has a new partner or gets engaged or married?

 

Get an attorney.

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Simple Logic

Simple Logic

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My wife of 20 years and I have agreed to divorce. We have 3 children (17, 14, and 11). We live in California. We have moved around a lot so we both want to make this transition as smooth as possible for the kids, so we would like them to stay in the house. The mortgage is in my wife and my name. The problem is we can’t afford to continue paying the mortgage and me find my own place with our current financial state. Since we live in Northern San Diego county,CA, we want to come to an agreement without a lawyer. She makes about $40k more than I do yearly. Our plan before we file for divorce is to file for bankruptcy and discharge everything except the house and the three car loans. Let her keep the house and two of the cars. The 17 year old drives one of car which helps with school pickups and drop offs especially since we don’t have school buses. I would give my wife $750/month towards the mortgage and not accept alimony. I would pay this until the 11 year finishes high school. Then the house would be sold and we would split what’s left. I currently pay for health insurance for the kids through my job so I would continue to do that. I also plan to stay in the same town so I can be near the kids. This would be documented in the agreement.

 

I would like to know if there are any issues with this plan that could come back to bite me?

 

You are fooling yourself. It sucks, but sell the house, pay off your bills, and start new.

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