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Should I get a lawyer?


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Hello,

 

My wife has a lawyer that her aunt is paying for.

She's telling me that since we don't have a house and we can agree with placement of our two kids I should have no need to spend the money on my own lawyer.

Is this true?

 

The problem may be within me? She cheated on me so any trust I have had in her is gone. I believe nothing she says, and I'm angry and I want nothing to do with her. I don't even want to look at her! - So I kind of want my own lawyer.

 

However I realize that is just an emotional response, so it may not be the correct one.

 

I could save $2500.00 if I just sucked it up.

 

Or is there other reasons to have my own attorney?

 

Thanks!

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If you really want to save the costs of the lawyer ask your STBEX's lawyer to send you the proposes property settlement agreement. Do not ask the EX. Only communicate politely to her lawyer. Remember the lawyer did not cause your divorce.

 

 

See if the PSA seems fair to you. There are online calculators you can use to double check the child support calculations. If you are otherwise satisfied . . . it's close to a 50/50 split and you are OK with the custody arrangements you might not need a lawyer. But if you read it & it seems one sided / unfair then by all means get your own lawyer.

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Get an attorney, if for nothing more than to go over the child care/support arrangements. Also to make sure they don't make provision for your future earnings.

 

I know a guy who divorced they used the same attorney who was her cousin or spouse of a cousin or something. Anyway, that screwed him over and we're able to get more money as his salary increased.

 

You're right, it's not an emotional response, you would be a fool to trust her.

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A lawyer can only have one client's best interests in mind when 2 people use the same one.. They will look out for your wife's best interests, not yours..

That you do with your own attorney..

But you can hire one anytime.. if they draft the docs and you don't like them then reject them and hire your own attorney

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I tried talking to her lawyer once, because I didn't understand something on the paperwork that was served to me.

He secretary called me back and said he couldn't speak to me because that would be a conflict of interest and I should get my own lawyer.

I told my wife about they, and she just said all we'd have to do is go in and sign.

 

Kind of conflicting stories.

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Also if you read it & don't understand it, get your own lawyer. Never sign anything you don't understand.

 

 

Divorces get expensive when people fight about trivial things. If you can be civil & do what's in the best interests of your kids, the costs shouldn't be astronomical

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It helps to have another pair of eyes looking out for your interests in legal matters. One oversight or miscalculation could cost you much more than $2500. Even if it's just frustration.

 

Unless you have a friend or a family member who will look over the documents for free, I'd strongly suggest getting representation.

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no.. you aren't the client yet, that you do by signing a document at the attorney's office explaining that your best interests aren't their responsibility.

 

In this type of case an attorney can only have one client they represent... they won't represent you but you can use them if your feel you don't need one.

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Divorces get expensive when people fight about trivial things.

 

One of my siblings fought over a big screen TV during a divorce and it cost twice+ as much to fight over it then go out and buy a brand new one and have it delivered.

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One of my siblings fought over a big screen TV during a divorce and it cost twice+ as much to fight over it then go out and buy a brand new one and have it delivered.

 

 

Exactly.

 

 

One of my friends is a divorce lawyer. He had one couple rack up over $10,000 in legal fees fighting over a $600 canoe.

 

 

It's one thing to fight for custody & visitation but the rest is just stuff. You can get new stuff.

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The equation is not balanced. Her attorney is paid to represent her best interests, not be fair or to look out for the family ..... you need to balance the equation and have your own representation with your attorney.

In your own words, you don't trust anything she tells you so why would you trust her when she tells you that you don't need one????

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Get your own lawyer.Period. You might save $ 2500 now but might end up paying exhorbitant child support, traveling time, no holiday time, not meeting her new bf, etc etc.

 

Don't sign any documents without your own lawyer reading it and/or giving you advise that is in your best interest.You are bound to miss the fine lines.

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somanymistakes

First rule of divorce is never trust your ex's lawyer. They don't work for you! They work to get the best deal for your ex.

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Message from a now retired lawyer:

 

You are probably in over your head. You may find yourself divorced on terms you never would have agreed to if you knew what they meant. Courts set time limits to respond to a divorce suit. The judge isn't going to look after the interests of one party or another. The judge only cares that the proposed judgment is in proper form and about closing the case. I am assuming that you have little familiarity with legal procedure.

 

Suck it up and consult with a lawyer. Ask around for recommendations or condemnations. Would the person ever hire that lawyer again? Would the person recommend the lawyer?

 

When you are divorced you are divorced a long time. Don't short yourself in the long run. Sign NOTHING you haven't had reviewed by your own attorney.

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Do nothing right now until they have the final papers delivered to you. Then get a lawyer to review them for fairness (for you). Make your wife's lawyer do all the work and let her rack up the fees. If the agreement she has drawn up is not fair to you, then you can let your lawyer get involved and start charging you fees. If you get a lawyer now, he or she will want to start getting involved now (they can't resist!). I'd wait and see what they have to say first.

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Popsicle's idea is good, except for one potential problem. Once you are sued for divorce (or for any reason for that matter) and served with the suit papers, the law provides you a certain time to respond or you are in default and legally bound to the court's judgment unless you have that default set aside before the judgment is entered. (While a default judgment can be set aside, that is a higher mountain to cross).

 

Waiting and doing nothing to defend your interests leaves the possibility open that a default judgment of divorce could be entered without your knowledge or consent

 

Sorry to tell you this but with children that judgment could contain very unfavorable child custody, visitation, and child support provisions. Yes, these can be changed after a divorce judgment but it generally requires a showing of changed circumstances. "I don't like these terms" or "I trusted her to be fair" often doesn't cut it with the judge.

 

Therefore have that consultation with your own attorney bringing whatever papers you have to the meeting.

 

BTW, many divorce lawyers want money up front is they have had too many instances of the first payment being the only payment they ever receive. From our point of view accepting a divorce case is like grabbing the tar baby of Uncle Remus Tales fame. You aren't ever going to be rid of it. We get no sympathy from judges.

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^ oh I didn't think of that. Yeah just get the lawyer now then. You have to respond in time. And you can't really trust her lawyer to postpone or cancel court dates for you, while you work on an agreement outside of court.

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