Child Support- a Luxury Item???

[Mz. Pixie]

Yesterday I was venting to someone who I thought was a friend about going through my divorce and support issues. Let me preface this post by saying that I've asked for less than the percentage of child support than the law allows. I have two children. STBXH is maintaining the marital residence and I'm not asking for anything out of it-even though my money went towards the purchase for 13 years. He makes twice what I do not including bonuses.

 

She asked my why I needed child support unless it was just for "luxuries"??

Hmmmmm, excuse me- when did child support become about luxuries???

How many of you single moms get to use your child support for luxuries?

I asked her what she considered to be a luxury item? Food? Clothing?

 

Are people really this ignorant in 2005?? I'm just blown away.

 

Yeah, I'm high rolling over there in my apartment with hardly no furnishings, just a few dishes and barely enough money to keep food on the table and keep a roof over my head.

 

This is not about me, it's about the children. The ex's think they are hurting the parents by not paying or not wanting to pay their child support but they only really hurt their own children.

[tiki]

It all boils down to the equality of living.

 

Don't let her get to you. Some people can't help being ignorant and uninformed.

[Merin]

Ugh!

 

Yes some people really are just that ignorant

 

Food, Clothing, Housing, School supplies, Dental and medical are NOT luxury items..

 

Blah!

 

Don't sweat it.. it sucks that there are really people out there with that mind set.. but hang in there.

[LittleMiss]

I get child support and it's pathetic. $180 dollars a month isn't even enough to cover day care. That's IF I get it. One time I got a payment of $24 for the WHOLE month. I am a single mom and barely making it. I can't count on child support because I never know when I will get it.

 

People who don't have to go through this should consider themselves lucky. It's hard especally when you can't count on the father's help (which I can't).

 

Add up the cost of diapers and day care alone and it's expensive. Plus we have to provide food, clothes, shelter, utilities, education, health care, ect. And I'm supposed to do that with the help of $180 a month. WTF??

 

Don't let her get to you. She'll never know how hard it is until she has to go through it.

[Mz. Pixie]

The thing is- she's not the only one who has said something like that to me.

 

My stepmom also asked me the same thing- if we were splitting visitation 50/50 why he should have to pay child support. She said, You left him.

 

BF last night said, "AND???"

 

I asked her if she could support her son on what she makes with rent etc. I said I happen to know your mortgage is only slightly more than my rent and it takes both of your salaries to make it, and you only have one child, I have two.

[tiki]

My custody is 50/50 (it changes in August when he starts Kindergarten). He makes twice as much as me. He pays $200.00 a month (the lawyer told me I could definitely get more out of him, but I wasn't interested in that). So I get married and he wants to cut it out. He's always been so good about everything, I swear. WTF is he thinking? Like my new husband has to support HIS child?! I had to 'reality check' him. He caught my drift.

 

People are stupid.

 

My husband pays over $600.00 a month child support.

[LittleMiss]

I tried to get mine increased since they set that amount when he didn't have a job. Now he has a good paying job and they gave him a company truck and he's doing good. So, I figure if he's making more than he should be paying more. Well, they denied me the increase and sent me a letter that I would have to wait three years for a change.

 

Man that's crazy!!

[quankanne]

Are people really this ignorant in 2005?? ... The exes think they are hurting the parents by not paying or not wanting to pay their child support but they only really hurt their own children.

 

[color=red]BINGO![/color]

 

I think a lot of people who aren't in a situation where child support is an issue just don't get it -- they think the mom (often the one who is actually raising the kids) is greedy for even requesting that money for her kids because they think Mama is pissing it away. I know stuff doesn't come cheap when it comes to raising kids, especially for single mothers expected to do it all on a very limited income from a job that often doesn't allow for inconveniences like sick children, school conferences, doctor/dental visits, etc.

 

both my sisters got support from their ex-husbands -- one sister made sure to put her ex's huevos through the wringer when he tried to bypass using the system in place, and wanted to just hand her a check each month for what he thought would be a fair amount. I'm ashamed to say that my brother -- who just went through a very drawn-out divorce case -- hasn't paid support in nearly a year for the little girl he loves to death. I know that he's not as financially stable as he'd like to be with the line of work he's in, but that's no excuse for not putting SOMETHING toward her care, especially as his ex-wife is the one my niece is living with! I think a lot of it has to do with making his ex "pay" for divorcing him.

 

... unfortunately, it's my niece getting the crappy end of the deal though my brother refuses to consider this.

[jade_nc]

sounds like your "friend" needs to be informed about what child support is!!

 

people who haven't gone through it don't seem to understand it at all. it doesn't matter WHO left WHOM. the children still cost the same to raise, and neither parent should have to feel the brunt of that financial load.

 

also, IMHO - revise the amount you're seeking. go ahead and get the state minimum. you never know what expenses will be incurred in your child's life. and it's alot more difficult to go back and get more once things are finalized.

 

i did the same thing. i left my husband (or rather told him to get out). i had been unfaithful, not him. counseling didn't work and i felt guilty that he was going to be on his own because my life expectations had changed. i accepted a significantly lower amount in support.

 

since then, he's moved out of state. i now have my children for about 85% of the time instead of 55%, which means that my household expenses have significantly increased. his support is based on the amount of time he has them......and i accepted even less. it's made it very difficult for us to get by.

 

my point is this - once the papers are signed, you have no idea what your stbx will do as far as his income, housing, finances, and expenses are concerned.