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Separated after 20 yrs..will i ever feel at peace ?


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Hi ill try to keep it short. After two kids a 20 year marrige im in process of leaving my wife. We are good friends, have common interest and two great kids of 20 and 18. Over the 20 years ive often had times where i just delt like i a ted to be elswhere or a lack of desire to be intimate or close. The children and our busy lives i beleive kept me in the game.

 

Our social life over the years has become 90 % her family and friends. After counselling and many months i decided to end the marriage. Just needed to feel more engaged and couldnt have that with her also felt i owed it to her to be with someone who cherished her and provided all the affection she deserves.

 

Now im feeling lonely, like i miss the old routine kids etc, have been cut off from her family and friends and need to rebuild. Feeling fuilty for having broken up the family and the effect it will have on my children

 

Willl i ever not miss what i had and be able to be at peace with my decison and my new life......im questionning that at this point.

 

Any advice from people who have lived it also...would be appreciated. Reconciliation isnt in the cards.

 

Thx

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3 kids, 17 1/2 years in when I made that same final decision. Some things I missed some things not at all. I was able to get involved and reconnect in some activity interest that were left at the way side years ago.

 

That in itself being occupied with some fun interest. Some as simple as me being a music guy got to go back out and plug into the music scene or go to some concerts. Meeting new people was such a breath of fresh air!

 

Everyone is different to pass through the transition, give yourself some time to process it, develop some interest if you don't have anything right now in mind.

 

For gosh be involved as much as possible with your kids. You can get more visitation than the state minimum's most guys settle with.

 

I worked through the change pretty quick. Only time I was derailed is when the ex kept popping up with her drivel.

Edited by Rockdad
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