aerogurl87 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I'm torn. I love my husband on one hand, but hate him on the other. When we first met I was fresh off trying to get over my ex/get away from my family, so when he asked me to move in with him a year into our LDR, I jumped at the opportunity. Unfortunately the writing was on the wall from the get go and I chose to ignore the signs that it wouldn't work. Like when he told me he'd consider moving back to my home country as being here makes me miserable, and he quickly changed his mind. Or when he told me he was happy that my ex died while I was trying to mourn his death in silence as to not upset my husband who was my boyfriend at the time. The final straw though was knowing he cheated on me with a guy. Granted I've always been fully aware my husband is bi and have no qualms about him being with men within our parameters, but he pushed the line, made up some BS excuse as to why it was okay, and I'm still upset about it. Luckily we have no children together and I'm honestly considering just moving away once my car is paid off and telling him I'm done. I see my future with him and already hate it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 If you hate your future, change it. Get out. You tried this. You moved. It didn't work. It isn't working & I don't see much hope that it will work. You are stronger then you were then. Link to post Share on other sites
aalbre2016 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Sorry you're going through this, being cheated on is extremely painful. But, I think it's awesome that you're able to see that you guys are not a good match and are not in denial about it. I would say take the plunge now that you don't have any children together and leave. There's someone for everybody and in time you will find your true love/match. Much luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author aerogurl87 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 Sorry you're going through this, being cheated on is extremely painful. But, I think it's awesome that you're able to see that you guys are not a good match and are not in denial about it. I would say take the plunge now that you don't have any children together and leave. There's someone for everybody and in time you will find your true love/match. Much luck! It was hard, and although I claimed I got over it, I didn't. I still think about it, especially when he gives me the whole "I can sleep with other guys but you can't sleep with anyone else because it just isn't right" spiel. He has so many double standards that it literally makes me sick. Anyway, I did look into other jobs back in my home state and lo and behold there are some available. I told him that today and he didn't seem too happy about it and is suddenly interested in counselling (the same thing he refused to go to the last two times I mentioned it) and possibly trying to relocate after 5 years of watching me be miserable and become a shell of myself. But I don't know, as much as I'm scared of the unknown and the idea of failing at being married (especially after only 6 months), I'm more scared of letting my fears ruin my future and the chance for me to be truly happy again. Link to post Share on other sites
Dr Paws Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 My fiance is also bi, but I made it clear when our relationship started that it didn't give him an excuse to cheat on me. Because that's what your husband is doing, cheating on you. Are you truly sure that you really had no qualms about him being with men back in the beginning? Anyway, that's the past. You've looked at your future with him and know that you will hate it. I wouldn't even bother trying with counselling, I'd be done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aerogurl87 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 My fiance is also bi, but I made it clear when our relationship started that it didn't give him an excuse to cheat on me. Because that's what your husband is doing, cheating on you. Are you truly sure that you really had no qualms about him being with men back in the beginning? Anyway, that's the past. You've looked at your future with him and know that you will hate it. I wouldn't even bother trying with counselling, I'd be done. I actually liked it in the beginning. We set ground rules and he said he was okay with everything. Then one day he took things too far and claimed he did it because he thought it was what I would've wanted. I should've been done there, but I gave him another chance. Anyway I've started sleeping on the couch and looking into a concrete plan to leave him while he's been extra sweet lately and trying to get me to stay. Link to post Share on other sites
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