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Update of my update. Need support

Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 1st November 2015, 6:25 AM   #1
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 19
Update of my update. Need support

wife ended it last week after us being back together for what I thought was ten great months. We were happy. She went away and came back and ended it.
She is now back to the saying I hate you I never loved you I don't want to hear from you unless about kids, she has blocked me from contacting her and is being so cold.

How can someone go from love to real hate in days. Then be so extreme??

She is my life, I love her so much, although I know I should not. I know she would do it again. I know that she has 100% of control.

I don't know what to do with myself. I am not eating, I am not sleeping, I am not in control.

Is there anyway that you can make someone change their feelings or is that a stupid thing to say? I know that at some point she will want me back, how ever cold she is being now there will be a day where she will call me to try and sort. I know her to well. She can't do things without me, she tries, she makes out to the world she can, but in the end she needs me.

When we reconciled earlier this year she said how she never stopped loving me, even though for months she was so cruel. She said that we would be stronger now as we had been apart and it did not work...

I need help.....
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Old 1st November 2015, 6:40 AM   #2
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: England
Posts: 18
You cant change someone else, you can only change you.

Perhaps you need to put yourself first in this situation and deal with the upset and issues you are feeling. If she comes crawling back, you need to be in a good place mentally to be able to deal with an emotionally demanding partner and to know when to say "no".

if you end up going back to her, nothing will change.

not the advice you wanted im sure, but remember you need to deal with your own emotional baggage before you deal with hers.

Go see a GP and work on you for a bit
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Old 1st November 2015, 7:12 AM   #3
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Something like this doesn't just happen. Do you know what the problem is?
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Old 1st November 2015, 10:26 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Upsetdan View Post
Is there anyway that you can make someone change their feelings or is that a stupid thing to say?...
It's not stupid but it is unrealistic to expect. If feeling were easy to control, I'd guess you'd direct yours to no longer care about her. She seems toxic and uncaring about you - and your feelings.

At some point you'll associate her with the pain you're feeling now. That will be progress...

Mr. Lucky
Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct -

Eleanor Roosevelt
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Old 1st November 2015, 11:00 PM   #5
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You cant force someone to love you. If it isn't there then it's gone. Now with that said, she was cruel with her words and if you want to move on, then remember those words and it should give you a wall to block her off.

But I have a feeling that your always up in her grill begging her to come back and that's why she said those ugly things to you.

You have to come to grips that she's moving on and you need to do the same. If you need to contact her then make sure it's only about the kids. Make it short, sweet and to the point and move on.
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