My wife seperated from me and now has a boyfriend, but I want her back

[Hurting me]

So, I have been going through an emotional and personal hell over the last year. My story is almost exactly the same as a one that someone left on here in 2004. I think his name was Emptynside. Read his story if you can find it, but long story short for me is that. My wife cheated on me after several years of having intamacy issues. She has now moved out, and is living with another guy she has called her boyfriend. I still want her back, and would do anything to get her back. I am nothing without her. Any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Mr. Lucky]

I still want her back, and would do anything to get her back. I am nothing without her. Any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Beyond being injurious to you, I doubt this attitude is attractive to her.

 

People tend to respect those that both believe in and stand up for themselves. Starting to do so best prepares you for life with or without her, however things turn out.

 

There's no downside to moving on with your life...

 

Mr. Lucky

[fireflywy]

What do you mean you're nothing without her? You are everything without her. You need to see that.

 

If she is with another man and cheated on you, you gotta let her go.

[d0nnivain]

You need to heal yourself. Getting back with a cheating EX who has already moved on is not in your best interests.

[oldshirt]

I am nothing without her.

 

This is your actual problem.

 

 

You need to develop yourself and get a life for yourself.

 

 

Then you won't need her and you'll be glad the cheating bitchwhore is gone.

[0range33]

If you want your ex back i suggest you check out these 2 videos,

and maybe the rest of his work. its totally free and educating.

 

 

 

the second video will tell you how to act. i promise you this will be the insight into a womans world you will ever see.

 

if you want any advice inbox me.

[Satu]

Snip.

 

I am nothing without her.

 

Are you not aware how dysfunctional and toxic that statement is?

 

Life is never about just one person.

 

Life isn't meant to be about just one person.

 

There are no circumstances in which you could be said to be nothing.

 

 

"Being...It is the expression of the experience of being over against non-being. Therefore, it can be described as the power of being which resists non-being. For this reason, the medieval philosophers called being the basic transcendentale, beyond the universal and the particular...

 

The same word, the emptiest of all concepts when taken as an abstraction, becomes the most meaningful of all concepts when it is understood as the power of being in everything that has being."

 

- Paul Tillich

 

Take care.

[KBarletta]

My wife cheated on me after several years of having intamacy issues. She has now moved out, and is living with another guy she has called her boyfriend. I still want her back, and would do anything to get her back.

 

I am curious about a few things:

 

1. How long have you been together? Any kids?

 

2. Did you and your wife ever take any steps to directly address your intimacy issues before she cheated?

 

3. Plenty of people say they "can't live without her" or are "nothing without her" or something like that - until they do, and they realize they can. And in fact, after some time, realize even that they are BETTER OFF without someone who would cheat, lie, abandon, discard, disregard, emotionally abuse and otherwise mistreat the person who is supposed to be their number one priority. A person who does these things is not worth your time and your best option is to gather yourself together, file for divorce, move on and don't look back.

[ShatteredLady]

I've spent my entire adult life with my husband. We were basically kids when we met. We've been together for 25 years now. We used to say "if I love you selflessly & completely, placing your happiness above everything & anything & you feel/do the same for me we're both complete & cherished." We used to say a lot of things!

 

It's incredibly hard to separate yourself from someone who has been your history & the center of all your dreams for the future. It's a tragic situation filled with 'if only'. I know your pain & I know how hard it is to break the habit of saying the "You complete me" & "I'm nothing without you" stuff but they're only words, no matter how real they feel.

 

It was a beautiful fantasy. I'm learning that I liked being that person, having my love story. I was addicted to being a dream couple. The withdrawals are brutal! but just like any addiction..in the end you're chasing a high that's unachievable. It's not sustainable. She isn't that person. The bubble has burst.

You might be able to get a relationship back but it can never be your fantasy again. Picture her in bed with her 'boyfriend' doing & saying all the things you did together back at the start. Can you truly erase all the lies, all the pain? It's not real anymore. "You can never go home again".

You're still YOU with all that love & loyalty to give. Find yourself again. Be yourself again. If you're truly eachothers love story & she's just lost at the moment you might find your way back together. If not this nightmare will become just a part of your history. Something you grew from to prepare for your life person. Don't let this break you & change you for the worst.

 

She did this! No matter what was going on in your relationship there's no excuse for what she's put you through. That's not what a good person, deserving of your love & devotion does. Think hard about who this person you want so desperately really is. Are you sure you're not mourning the death of a fantasy?