CONFUSED0202 Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 I am sure there are many others in my situation and I would just like to know how you handle it. First of all my marriage of 13 years is over, I initiated the separation and although he is not happy about it my husband accepts it. There is absolutely no chance of reconciliation. My mind is made up, I must move on. The problem is that financially we cannot afford to separate. We have slept in separate BR for over a year. I do my thing on the weekends and he does his. Neither one of us is involved with someone else. This is not the problem. Luckily, I have always made sure that should something happen to one or the other the other would not be financially ruined. The problem is I have to liquidate assets to be able to afford my house, my car, my existing way of life. I have had real estate on the market since March, but it has not sold. As soon as it does I will be able to afford to keep my house, which he wants no part of. We have agreed that I will pay him $50,000 once the real estate sells, so that he can buy or rent or whatever he chooses. I am dead set on making sure he is taken care of. I like him, I just don't love him anymore and I am bringing us both down. Everyday I wait for my agent to call, and he doesn't. I have lowered my price but cant afford to go any lower. My agent assures me that I am asking a fair price for the land I am selling. It just takes time. How do you continue to live with someone, who you know in time will be gone. How do you keep your sanity when your whole life is on hold because you cant afford to leave or let him leave. I have a 15 year old son from a previous marriage and keeping his life stable is my main priority. He understands our situation and accepts it. So keeping his home and the life he is accustomed to is very important. I would sacrifice all my happiness in the world for my child. We have agreed on separation plans, money and everything. I just need to liquidate some assets so that he can leave. He is 49 and I am 37. I cannot afford my house without his income. If anyone wants to buy my land 90 acres, please let me know. If anyone has any suggestions on how to keep my sanity let me know. I am pretty level headed but I am anxious to move on with my life. Right now I am miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 Where are these acres? What State? Is it commercial property? CAN you sell fewer acres at a time? Maby you need to find a new agent. I know alot of investors but only in the southern parts of the US PM me if your in the south. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 Great idea StoneHeather! With that much property, I'd be more inclined to sell off acreage to a developer/builder and KEEP my house. But it depends on the area, location and convenience of access to utility hook-ups and public roads. Okay…now this is going to sound REALLY hokey…and everyone laughed at my aunt when she tried it. But it worked! Her house was on the market for seven months without a bite, and in spite of all our teasing about religious superstitions and buying into old "wise tales"… she sold her house within one month trying it. While I'll always remain somewhat skeptical and cynical about superstitious mumbo-jumbo…and whether or not this is actually what did the trick for my aunt (maybe it was just coincidence)…at the very least it made her feel somewhat "pro-active" in what seemed to her to be a hopeless situation. Supposedly, burying a statue of St. Francis (the patron Saint of family and household needs) is a real estate tradition that goes back hundreds of years. The statue can be buried in the front yard, upside down, facing away from the house or in the back yard, right side up, facing the house. Some cultures say once the house is sold, you must dig him up and take him with you.. Everyone agrees you need to give him a place of honor at your new home. I know….I know. I'm almost embarrassed to post this because I'm going to be dodging the virtual tomatoes that are going to be thrown at me. But what could it hurt to give it a try? No one has to know you did it…and if it doesn't work…you really haven't lost anything. I'm also curious to find out for myself if all the crazy testimonials are true. Might be fun to try it out and see what happens! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CONFUSED0202 Posted October 14, 2004 Author Share Posted October 14, 2004 Thanks for your replies...Who knows sometimes the old wives new best. Now where can I locate that statue. I do not have houses for sale, I have land. The way it lies, in NC close to the VA border. I have one tract that is 64 acres or can be broken into two 32 acre tracts with little road frontage. I also have a 10 acre tract for sale and a 11 acre tract that I am also willing to split. I have tried selling big tracts little tracts etc. I just need for one tract to sell to send him on his way. I'll pay the rest as the land sells. Thanks again for your replies...also my agent has an excellent record and is one of the best in the area. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 CAn it be or is it commercial property? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CONFUSED0202 Posted October 15, 2004 Author Share Posted October 15, 2004 No, just Residential. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CONFUSED0202 Posted October 17, 2004 Author Share Posted October 17, 2004 EnigmaXOXO - I just ordered a St. Francis Statue. I am willing to try anything. I'll let you know if it works. Link to post Share on other sites
sweets21 Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Another way you might want to go is by refinancing any loans you may have. I worked in collections for a long time and i helped a lot of people by just refinancing there loan. Say if you have a t.v, washer dryer you have been paying on for a while. If you refinance it will drop your monthly pmts. Or you may want to consider taking a loan from a bank to pay off some of your debt. You may come out with a smaller note each month. Wishing you the Best!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Guinevere Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 What Va line are we talking? I live near Danville. Also, where did you order your statue from? I have a house to sell and until I do so, I can't move on with my life. I feel so trapped and my husband knows that the minute we have a buyer, this thing is closer to being over. Link to post Share on other sites
baseball Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 I cant force the Big "D"!!! I may want to and then I may not. The problem is that we work at the same place and its a business I started!! In July I found that she was looking for a place of her own. I decded to let her go and take her off of the business account. In August she wanted the separation. I think it was three weeks later she was back to work with me but that is the only change. I know its the worse thing I could have done(let her back) but she is great for my business! On a lite side what could I bury in my yard to help my problems? I'm Mr baseball but it will log me out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CONFUSED0202 Posted October 28, 2004 Author Share Posted October 28, 2004 I ordered the statue from, The Catholic Company in SC found it on the web. It will be the best $14.95, I have ever spent if it works.. Guinevere, Im not that far away. Live on the Patrick County line.. (small world) Baseball, Im sorry I dont know of anything you can bury. I started my own business almost 8 years ago, but I refused to let my husband come to work with me. I insisted he keep his job (for the insurance). That is probably one of the few things that I was right about in this marriage. I didnt even put his name on the deed or anything. Legally he is entitled to 1/2, but he says that I am the one who worked so hard to build the business and he wants no part of it. If I could sell this land.....I would get that in writing, fast. I just need to move on, I feel my whole life is on hold, and I cannot do anything about it. It is very frustrating. Thanks guys for your replies.... Link to post Share on other sites
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