Contemplation of moving after divorce

[headspins]

I absolutely cannot stand living where I am @. Although it is home to me as I grew up&have spent most of my life here. However, I am struggling mightily with a serious personal issue that I know does' nt just go away because I relocated. However, i have no family here&most of my friends are either screwed up&somewhere else unavailable, or married&locked down. Maybe, I just feel alone&need to toughen up. Get out there&try to socialize. Meet people. Tackle my personal issue (demon) head on&stop whining.

 

 

I do realize this as I am capable of stepping out of the box&seeing that I have always played the role of being some kind of victim. Either from relationships- marriage, or victim of society, street life. Im sick of being like that. Another huge issue. Actually the main issue @ hand is the divorce. My stbx wife i literally HATE with every ounce&fiber within me. I cannot even fathom the possibility of not getting split physical custody of my son&paying $ to another guy that gets to spend more time with him. I know that sounds selfish&ludicrous of me to even consider leaving, but I told her I will be damned if I stick around to see them enjoy life while I struggle to make ends meet&do absolutely nothing cuz I have no $.

 

 

She knows my sentiments too as I made it perfectly clear this past weekend that if it does go down like that then you will have known prior&didn't meet me in the middle. Wow! Imagine that? As if that's anything new. Compromise?? Wtf is that? I've never heard of such a concept. Since she is thy most selfish, self absorbed, narcasistic, manipulative, cold&emotionless woman. See I refrained from what I really wanted to say. Yes I can apply the brakes&not say everything that comes to my mind. Unlike her that just lets it all fly out&has no concern about any possible ramifications. Why?? Cause she knows she's in complete control having me wrapped up like a lil baby sucking on a nipple. Total control&sick. That's why I have so much animosity towards her. I could go on, but whats the use. We'll just have to wait&see what happens. Good thing this guy she's with is actually a good man. Unlike her first boyfriend when we were split up who's now in jail. Or, she could of gotten involved with her twice as old 60 yr old former boss she f----- while we were seperated the 2nd time.

 

I cannot for the life of me understand why I still wanna be with someone like that??? Something is def wrong with me&I realize this. She deserved better than what I gave her, but I deserve 10x better if I would of cleaned up my act.

[hurts1968]

I absolutely cannot stand living where I am @. Although it is home to me as I grew up&have spent most of my life here. However, I am struggling mightily with a serious personal issue that I know does' nt just go away because I relocated. However, i have no family here&most of my friends are either screwed up&somewhere else unavailable, or married&locked down. Maybe, I just feel alone&need to toughen up. Get out there&try to socialize. Meet people. Tackle my personal issue (demon) head on&stop whining.

 

 

I do realize this as I am capable of stepping out of the box&seeing that I have always played the role of being some kind of victim. Either from relationships- marriage, or victim of society, street life. Im sick of being like that. Another huge issue. Actually the main issue @ hand is the divorce. My stbx wife i literally HATE with every ounce&fiber within me. I cannot even fathom the possibility of not getting split physical custody of my son&paying $ to another guy that gets to spend more time with him. I know that sounds selfish&ludicrous of me to even consider leaving, but I told her I will be damned if I stick around to see them enjoy life while I struggle to make ends meet&do absolutely nothing cuz I have no $.

 

 

She knows my sentiments too as I made it perfectly clear this past weekend that if it does go down like that then you will have known prior&didn't meet me in the middle. Wow! Imagine that? As if that's anything new. Compromise?? Wtf is that? I've never heard of such a concept. Since she is thy most selfish, self absorbed, narcasistic, manipulative, cold&emotionless woman. See I refrained from what I really wanted to say. Yes I can apply the brakes&not say everything that comes to my mind. Unlike her that just lets it all fly out&has no concern about any possible ramifications. Why?? Cause she knows she's in complete control having me wrapped up like a lil baby sucking on a nipple. Total control&sick. That's why I have so much animosity towards her. I could go on, but whats the use. We'll just have to wait&see what happens. Good thing this guy she's with is actually a good man. Unlike her first boyfriend when we were split up who's now in jail. Or, she could of gotten involved with her twice as old 60 yr old former boss she f----- while we were seperated the 2nd time.

 

I cannot for the life of me understand why I still wanna be with someone like that??? Something is def wrong with me&I realize this. She deserved better than what I gave her, but I deserve 10x better if I would of cleaned up my act.

 

 

 

Don't know how old your son is but you have to stay around! You have to be there for him as he grows up, it's the most important thing you can do especially if your ex is like you say she is. You will need to be the steady, important influence on his life!

 

Couldn't not be there for my daughter...I'm only 3 months into this mess but she is the only thing that matters to me know....keeping my job, keeping my house is all that matter so I can see her as much as possible and minimise the effect that my ex and her OM have on her, because my ex is not too far removed from your!

 

be there mate..