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The classic: I love you but I'm not in love with you.


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xrachyrawrx

Boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years and living together for 3 years. We live with his parents and of course, this can interfere with our relationship a lot. It is very very easy to fall into routine of living together and the nagging, arguing, lack of talking to each other and lack of date nights soon build up. Usually, this is resolved by something triggering me to feel insecure and check his phone where my worst fears are revealed and when I confront him, we have months worth of bottled up ****e to talk about. Always decide to change this or that and make up then a month or two later at the most bam back to square one.

 

So last few weeks been particularly stressful for me personally so begin to notice I'm being a whorebag to him. After half a week of this, I apologise and confess about how stressed I feel. He simply replies "I know" and that's it then a couple of days later, still stressed and still in the **** with him. Poor lad. Then after two weeks and now realising it's happening again, I am pushing him away... I check his phone and... He is telling people he loves me so hasn't left me but isn't in love with me. I cry my heart out, text some friends then wake him up to talk.

 

He said he hasn't known how to bring it up and he was still thinking about it. I am hurt because once again, as per usual... He hasn't spoken to me about it but gone to others, mere strangers, potential future females. What can I do with this? I too am tired of living like we are. We aren't happy but we have moments where I love him to pieces and I live for the little things. I give up lots to live with him including my friends, county, money and my waistline got lost for a while too! We both want to get back what we had, we can't live together but don't want to break up.

 

Any suggestions appreciated!!

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Boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years and living together for 3 years. We live with his parents and of course, this can interfere with our relationship a lot. It is very very easy to fall into routine of living together and the nagging, arguing, lack of talking to each other and lack of date nights soon build up. Usually, this is resolved by something triggering me to feel insecure and check his phone where my worst fears are revealed and when I confront him, we have months worth of bottled up ****e to talk about. Always decide to change this or that and make up then a month or two later at the most bam back to square one.

 

So last few weeks been particularly stressful for me personally so begin to notice I'm being a whorebag to him. After half a week of this, I apologise and confess about how stressed I feel. He simply replies "I know" and that's it then a couple of days later, still stressed and still in the **** with him. Poor lad. Then after two weeks and now realising it's happening again, I am pushing him away... I check his phone and... He is telling people he loves me so hasn't left me but isn't in love with me. I cry my heart out, text some friends then wake him up to talk.

 

He said he hasn't known how to bring it up and he was still thinking about it. I am hurt because once again, as per usual... He hasn't spoken to me about it but gone to others, mere strangers, potential future females. What can I do with this? I too am tired of living like we are. We aren't happy but we have moments where I love him to pieces and I live for the little things. I give up lots to live with him including my friends, county, money and my waistline got lost for a while too! We both want to get back what we had, we can't live together but don't want to break up.

 

Any suggestions appreciated!!

 

Is there a reason you can't go live with your parents? Even better that both of you go get a place together

 

Love doesn't conquer all as you know....I mean you guys don't even have your won place and you can't seem to get along. Do yourself a favour and get out of that relationship

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You look like you're not married yet.

 

Since he has stated his feelings don't have your best interest in mind - it's best to move.

 

Usually, his "not in love with you" statement indicates he's more in love with someone else. He didn't bother being honest with you, he was telling others. One of them may be the gal he's seeing. He may have her in his phone under a male name.

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You got the "ILYBINILWY" speech. He's cheating on you. That's textbook classic for a cheater to say that. I would start looking into things and start digging for the truth.

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xrachyrawrx

:( Why do people always assume he is cheating? What if I literally did just push him away? People change. Plus I was a bitch to him. I actually think I have OCD the way I have to control things. ie- I'm very much a list person and when things don't go to plan, I freak out! I need help :(

 

As I said, I still believe I am in love with him and even when times are bad and he pushes me, I wouldn't dream of giving up on us. I love him more than life itself, I really do. :love:

 

It is awful being away from home and just waiting for him to decide. I don't know what I can do to convince him! Any help?? :confused:

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