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Finding love after VERY long term marriages...


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At first dating men that I shared no history or responsibilities with seemed new, exciting, and fun.. but now that I've been on my own for a couple of years and have gone through a couple relationships, I'm coming to the sad realization that I may never be as emotionally close to a man as I was with my ex.. We were together for 23+ years -- grew into adulthood together - experienced all the major life experiences together - child birth & raising, serious illness, death of a parent, etc.. so I probably won't go through this kind of thing with a new partner. Although I'm actually in a relationship with a good guy right now, I'm feeling a really deep, looming kind of loneliness - I guess like a delayed mourning for my previous relationship?

Has anyone had this experience and gone on to have a better kind of relationship/marriage post divorce?

Maybe this is the wrong forum area to be asking... Does this make sense?

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keepontruckin

That first real relationship, damages the dumpee after it fails. It is typically permanent in most cases. The dumper moves on and does what it always does, without regret or concern. That's what they do. It is hardwired into their psyche. It is a character trait.

 

Most dumpees will attempt to mask the damage with other relationships, but as you've realized, doesn't really work that well.

 

Learn from this experience. Understand human nature. Know that remaining single has the ultimate benefits. It is the ONLY solution to your problems.

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I strongly disagree with this. ^^

 

I too suffered the same exact emotions as you described, even after meeting my lover. I often felt as though my heritage had been taken...my dream of home filled with family; kids and grandkids. Our memories, our history. Not a mixed bag of her kids and my kids and her baggage and...

 

But there is beauty and love to be found there too. More than I ever knew.

 

Life is what we make it. Husbands and wives can break the bond and destroy the dream. All we can say is: so be it. I, and you, now have the chance to touch and be touched by people we never would have otherwise known. I have a deep, loving relationship with my GF's kids. I am not their father, I am....theirs. Part of them now and they part of me.

 

My ex destroyed our marriage and split our family. It was in her power to do so. It is not in her power to destroy the lives of everyone I meet.

 

Discover your purpose. The rest comes naturally.

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