Juestme Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 My wife wants a divorce but doesn't want to leave? I don't feel I should be the one to leave and she agrees. So now I'm even more confused. She has used the we have grown apart and are two different people thing and feels she doesn't want to work through any isuess we have. I don't want her to be in this relationship if she feels this way, and of course, like almost all divorces kids are involved. We have two of the most wonderfull girls(6 and 2)ever put on this earth. We just bought a house 5 months ago. Not sure what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
ladue Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 First I would need to know if you or she is Bi. She may be right that you two have grown apart and should divorce, however, one of you would ned to leave. It is confusing to you that she would tell you to stay but if she is the caregiver for the children than she should stay and you leave. You can get a nice little apartment close by and remain friends for the sake of the children. That is always the best. Maybe you two can sit and talk about options and ways making this work as easily as you can for the kids. They matter the most. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I live in Canada but from what I've heard if you leave the house you lose a lot of strength in order to win it in the agreement. Keep that in mind. I think your wife isn't giving you much to go on. Do you fight? DO you think she is cheating? Were you ever 'madly' in love? Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 My wife and I have considered divorce. Her adult son lives with us and we have a young child together. She feels that if we got a divorce I should leave!! No way. Why should I move out, be alone in an apartment, see my kid part time, while she gets the house, pool, dog, etc. Then what if she meets a dude? He will be in my house, sleeping with my wife, trying to be a father to my kid, swimming in my pool, etc. No way. The only way I would go through with a divorce is if we sold the house, split everything equally and started over seperately. Until then I ain't budging. Link to post Share on other sites
Yikes Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Ladue... Your post is very Bizzare!! Why do need to know if he or she is bi? What on earth does that have to due with anything... people grow apart for all sorts of reasons! Why should he be expected to get a "nice little apartment"? Why should he bend over and take it up the hoop? What is wrong with selling their assets and dividing everything up so both of them can start over on equal terms? Link to post Share on other sites
amish Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I'm pretty sure Bi = Bipolar Link to post Share on other sites
Yikes Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I'm sure you must be correct, that would make more sense. Thanks for the heads up. Link to post Share on other sites
amish Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Hehe...no prob. Believe me, that had me scratching my head for a couple minutes too. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Originally posted by ladue First I would need to know if you or she is Bi. She may be right that you two have grown apart and should divorce, however, one of you would ned to leave. It is confusing to you that she would tell you to stay but if she is the caregiver for the children than she should stay and you leave. You can get a nice little apartment close by and remain friends for the sake of the children. That is always the best. Maybe you two can sit and talk about options and ways making this work as easily as you can for the kids. They matter the most. Yeah, he should leave the house when she is the one who wants a divorce..sure.. Link to post Share on other sites
lioness Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 If she wants the divorce, shouldn't SHE be the one taking action? You are right to stick your ground. Divorce is really, really hard on kids. I recently attended a mandatory divorce class for parents with minors and they said the ideal situation is to buy a duplex, and for one parent to live in each side, and let the kids have the freedom to be with both parents. If it were only that easy. Also, since you just recently purchased the home, you may not be able to sell it just yet, if you have prepayment penalties and all that jazz. So it's going to have to go to one of you. Get a good attorney! Link to post Share on other sites
uncertain04 Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Juestme, The most important thing you can do for your children during the divorce (should she decide to go through with it) is to provide them with as much information, stability, love, and reassurance as you can. Even though it is relatively new, your house will be a major source of stability for your children. If you can't make a decision about who keeps the house based on finances (who can afford to take over the mortgage including paying off the other's share of the equity), then one of you should consider putting your children first and move out. Also, have you considered how you might feel about remaining in the house? Will certain things remind you of her? Are you prepared to clean the entire house? Is she prepared to do the yardwork? Just some additional things to think about. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts