digger Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 The divorce is still not final but could be anyday. Her demands get more riidculous as yesterday my lawyer told me she wanted me to chip in to buy daughter a car out of all this when I am struggling to start a business and paying myself McDonalds wages and she is now making 45+ not counting my support. She also told the lawyer shed like to liquidate some mutuals as she is cash strapped. This is the $$ we worked long and hard for alll these years for retirement. I have shifted to no contact but I want to know if i should try one last plea. You see, i have been offered a job 1100 miles away which i really want--its my old line of work. And the wife HATES it WHERE WE ARE NOW. I'd like to ask her to repair it with me and go with me. Im afraid to go alone whereas i wouldnt be close and it'd be hard to reconcile (which she doesnt seem to want anyway after 21 years). Other people say she may yearn for me if i go and am in a place she really wants to be. Theres no holding her here for any reason. Theres no "OM" or she wouldnt be making rumors of moving to an entirely different state and going back to the job she 'loved' so much at not nearly the wages she makes here. I just dont know how to approach it--or even if i should. HELP!! Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Tell her you were offered a job at XX and you wanted to know if she'd be interested in moving and working on the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author digger Posted July 27, 2004 Author Share Posted July 27, 2004 IF SHE SAYS YES; FINE. bUT IF SHE SAYS NO; DO I TAKE IT AND JUST GO OR STAY AND HOPE THAT BEING CLOSER RECONCILES US MAYBE? Link to post Share on other sites
Firegirl04 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Take the job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author digger Posted July 27, 2004 Author Share Posted July 27, 2004 IN DEPTH REASONING? Link to post Share on other sites
Firegirl04 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 if you stay and things don't work out you will regret not taking the job offer that you love. Ask her to go with you if she says no... then go without her. Don't make yourself miserable trying to make someone else happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author digger Posted July 27, 2004 Author Share Posted July 27, 2004 BUT IS THERE ANY CHANCE I CAN WORK THINGS OUT 1100 MILES AWAY? iM TRYING TO GIVE HER 'TIME' BUT THIS JOB WERE LOOKING AT IN 6-8 WEEKS Link to post Share on other sites
Firegirl04 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 If it is meant to be it will be. Yes you can work on things from that far. Abscense make the heart grow fonder. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 I highly recommend taking the job. #1. She may be able to miss you if she doesn't go #2. You being happier in your occupation will help you to be happier in your life in general with or without her. #3. She is obviously a selfish woman, why waste a great opportunity on the chance you two can make up, and most likely not. You deserve happiness Digger, this is a wonderful opportunity - so TAKE IT! If you ask her to go and she says yes, then fine, but if she says no, at least you asked and that will give her something to think about after you're gone and she starts wondering how your life is going. Seems like all exs get to that point one time or another. Good luck but please take care of YOU for a change... Link to post Share on other sites
Author digger Posted July 27, 2004 Author Share Posted July 27, 2004 OK This sounds pretty unanimous Followup question: Do I: 1) ask her face to face to work it out and go with me? 2) Say nothing (ive already written her a month ago about the possibility but now I have the job for sure or 3) Knock on the door and say "hey im moving to florida-ill send you my name and number in case u need me--and walk away? Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Why are you making this so difficult? Good god! Just tell her you have the job and ask her if she wants to move with you and work on the marriage. If she says no, then take the job because the marriage is over. If she says yes, then take the job, take the family there and work on the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author digger Posted July 27, 2004 Author Share Posted July 27, 2004 HEY IM JUST TRYING TO GET A CONCENSUS I DONT NEED THAT--THAT YOURE SO ABSOLUTELY RIGHT Link to post Share on other sites
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