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Silent treatment


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My husband has decided to talk to me again.

Problem is, after so many times of his silent treatment, I am tired of it.

He never says he is sorry for the way he has acted. He just thinks when he decides to talk that everything is okay.

It's not okay with me.

I told him that if we could not see a counselor to learn how to talk with one another that we were going to get divorced. He said okay.

I called an attornery.....haven't met with her yet......and I guess now he is considering how things will be financially if we divorce so he has decided to talk to me again. This is not major heart to heart conversation I'm referring to but rather the common courtesies you give to someone when you live together. Things like "I'm leaving" or "I've got to work over tonight". That's our conversation.

So....am I supposed to give this another try or should I follow my heart and follow through with a divorce?

We are just not happy with one another.

At all.

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So....am I supposed to give this another try or should I follow my heart and follow through with a divorce?

 

Be decisive: Just SAY YES!!

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My exhusband (I divorced him) and I had this same problem. When things wouldn't go his way he'd pull the silent treatment (sulk, walk out of the room, not talk). Sometimes he'd drag this out for days. I hated this with a passion - to me it was intentional emotional abuse.

 

I would beg and plead to sit and talk things out but he'd torture me by playing the silent treatment game. But what was worse was he always had to be right so somehow I'd end up apologizing until I stopped and said to myself "This is warped". Why did I always end up apologizing?

 

I filed for divorce and got out of the marriage. If you can't speak to each other as adults and work out problems then forget it - I refuse to "settle" and be married to someone emotionally distant and be treated disrespectfully.

 

I loved my husband but I need emotional support from a man (most women do I think). Withdrawing emotionally is the kiss of death for me in a relationship. If a man can't be my best friend, someone I can talk to about everything and someone I can trust - then I can't stay in the relationship.

 

I married my ex because he was fun and we were compatible. But once we got married he seemed to have the need to control me emotionally - he needed to feel power over me thus torturing me with silent treatments would break me down and he wouldn't talk to me until HE felt like it.

 

Unfortunately he lost a wonderful wife by acting the way he did. But I learned alot from my relationship with him. I know I will no longer settle for someone like him again. If your husband can't get his act together I'd reconsider the relationship.

 

Good luck!

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You'd think I'd be chock full of wisdom considering all the lessons I've learned the hard way.

I am hesitating to file for divorce because I have LOTS of things to consider other than do I want to end this marraige or not.

First and foremost for me as a single mom is keeping this house. My job requires me to stay in the house. Giving up this house would mean giving up my income and I can't do that. I have two children still at home and three children who will be attending college. So......giving up the house isn't an option.

I guess another biggie for me is the fact that this is not my first divorce. There is a big part of me who doesn't want to say I failed.......again.

So...I just endure the marraige knowing it is over but not quite sure how to move on and proceed in a way that will not be disruptive to my kids.....I hate conflict. We've had enough of it. I try to avoid it if possible.

Just kind of venting a bit here......thinking out loud to the sound of the

keyboard.

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Yea your situation is tricky - but no matter how many times you've been married or divorced just remember - YOU are not a failure - the marriages have failed. I've been divorced twice. I initiated both divorces. First husband was abusive physically - second husband was abusive mentally.

 

I finally realized I keep picking the same types of men - macho, arrogant, narcisstic type A personalities. These guys are charming and macho (which I'm attracted to). They reel me in with their powerful persuasive ways and charm - then once I'm hooked and try to keep my independence they get angry and want to control me and conform me into someone else.

 

I'm a single mom and sometimes you have to do what you gotta do. I chose to get out of sick relationships - I'd rather be healthy and single than married and ill/depressed.

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