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Letter to my wife


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Betsy, I am so sorry about everything that has brought us to this point. I look back at the last twelve months since we separated and realize that our actions were just masking our pain. We have lost a lot, but I realize that none of it matters now that I'm faced with the reality of life without you.

 

I didn't mean to hurt you and I know you didn't mean to cause the pain you did; it was only foolish pride in the face of mine that caused you to retaliate. I love you so much and I forgive you completely.

 

You were there for me when I needed to grow, dear, and I helped you feel wanted when in ways you longed for. But the pressures of everyday life are too easily permitted to get in the way, and we forgot about what made us special. The money, the material things, who won/who lost, all were a side show to the main event, our partnership. If there was any way to take back the hurt I caused you, I would, at any price.

 

I wish I could find the words to help you understand that splitting up is not the answer. Obviously it will impact the kids, but they are young and strong and resilient, and they are smart and will know that we both love them. What hurts most is that we were soulmates once, but because of pride in the face of hardship we let ourselves forget, forget about the way we felt for each other before the tough times. As someone once said, this type of certainty comes along only once in life, and your were mine.

 

I know things will work out for both of us. We are smart and protective of the kids and will make sure that they are taken care of. We will even find joy in the occasional small thing, laughter at the occasional anecdote, but in the back of my mind I will always be thinking of you. I can travel the world over and never find the feelings I shared with you, Betsy. I love you, and I always will.

 

I am sure some day you will look back fondly on our time together and smile. I pray that in any event, God will take care of and watch over you. You are special to me Betsy, more than I could ever convey, and I want you to find the happiness you seek.

 

As we prepare to sign the papers that dissolve the legal tie between us, please know that I will always be there for you. I don't know what the future brings, Bets, but I will be strong and not let you down. Please remember me when things get tough, and know that you have a friend that cares for you so deeply. I pray that your anger will dissipate and we'll eventually be able to be friends again. Until that day and beyond, I remain

 

Yours,

Jim

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I agree with Kevin, though I tend to find the second paragraph a little self-righteous. Parhaps you should have ended it it with ", and I wish you can forgive me, too"...or something similar.

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Wolvesbaned

Wow. Thanks for sharing, such a nice thing to read to start off the day. I think it was nice of you to not ask for her forgiveness outrightly -because the letter already communicates it in other ways. The beginning of the 3rd paragraph: maybe include "I hoped I helped you feel ... " or "I tried to show you ..." it'll fit the subtleness of your letter more, I think.

 

With that, I want to share with you something a friend of mine explained to me: Two people don't have to be married to be in love -- and too often marriage doesn't equate commitment. It's easy to tie everything into the divorce, but there are those rare people that find each other again after the process. I think your letter is a great start -- hopefully it'll help rebuild the trust and friendship you once shared.

 

I wish you both the best.

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sportsloving

Wowzers. That is one incredible and touching letter.

 

I hope it is a starting point to bringing you both back to where you once were, even if it is only as good friends.

 

Good luck to you both, I wish you every happiness.

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I have found letters usually don't help much. If this is the only one, then it might help out a little but no more.

Time and space is always the answer. I hope that some time after (months or more), my wife and I seperate we can start new. I can't wait to start courting her and dating!!! Hopefully I'll be able to. Our first time around it all happened real fast. Met in may and married by july.

 

 

Good luck!

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ready2moveon26

I have tried this as well. I wrote my husband a letter saying pretty much the same thing. We became friends again, and that was all I needed. We were there for one another for quite a while...until he met a girl. He has shut me out every since. I ended up writing him another letter saying that whenever he's ready, I'll be here for him again, but when I gave it to him, I was dropping our daughter off for her week stay with him and was emotional. I told him he could chose to read it or deposit it in the trash as he walked in the door. When I talked to him later, he claimed he deposited it in the trash, but something inside of me tells me he read it. Hopefully this opens the lines of communication between you and your wife. I wish you the best in your future. You sound like a man (like me a woman) that deserves to be happy.

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