robh022 Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 My wife of 3 yrs told me she wasn't happy anymore and she wanted to get out on her own to find what she wanted. We have a 3yr old a 2 yr old and a 9 month old baby together I don't know what to do I'm confused and stressed . We married young and she says she wants to make it on her own she wants to see if we need each other it has been 3wks now since she told and two weeks since she moved out . I am with my kids about 70 percent of the time she has them the other 30 she wants us to be friends and i can't stand that i love her with all my heart and every time i see her I want to give her a hug and kiss but I can't she says we will start seeing each other again soon as in dating but every time i ask it gets pushed farther away from happening . Please give me some advice need help desperately here in Texas. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 Let it be. Give her a few more weeks. Don't do anything, maybe send her a card saying you're there for her, but leave it at that, just so she knows you haven't moved on and still care about her. If nothing happens...well....cross that bridge when it comes. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 Most people I know would struggle to cope with having 3 children in 3 years. Did she have any time to herself? Did you have time together as a couple without the kids (other than in the collapsed on the couch at the end of the day recovery mode)? It's possible that she just felt she couldn't go on as things were and so she had to take drastic steps to find the space she needs. If you think this likely it may help to talk to her about practical steps that could be taken to allow her this space within the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Kay Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 I agree with the previous poster. Your wife sounds completely overwhelmed and likely depressed. Three young children in three years would rob anyone of their sense of self as an individual and also as a wife. This is not to say that children aren't the greatest gifts in your lives; but it sounds to me as if your wife went from being a young woman to a mother with only a small amount of time as a wife to you. Would she agree to counseling, either on her own or together? Maybe you could find a way to "woo" her again as a woman. Ask if you could take her on a date with no agenda other than to make her feel beautiful and special in her own right. Don't push for intimacy; in fact, maybe even tell her that you will not ask her for this and then stick to it. As soon as she feels pressured, she will move further away. The more you back off and give her space, the easier it might be for her to move closer. Easier said than done, I know. Keep in touch. I care. Kay Link to post Share on other sites
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