confused woman23 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Hello eveyone this is going to be yet another long post lol due to the fact I have not been on here in months and oh the story you all are about to read is sooo worth the length thank you all for your attention and please reply with advice because I really do need someone to talk to. A few months back in february 2011 just a couple days after my 23rd bday I stumbbled upon this website. I was in need of help and advice and little did I know at the time the advice I would recieve. All of the replies said the same thing: "leave your husband now".... " get out of this marriage because diaster and heartache awaits if you stay" is what everyone told me. Now at the I didnt understand how could strangers who just read a glimpse of my life marriage would be able to get the outcome for me to leave me Cheating husband after reading a brief decription on what brought me to the site to began..However I should have listened,but the reason I didnt leave the marriage even after several incidents of him cheating is because I thought I was supposed to stay and take it all the hurt ache and pain due to me being his wife. I know that God is for marriage (I apologize for the religion term i dont want to offend anyone I am just speaking my thoughts aloud no harm is meant) an he wouldnt have put us together if we wasnt meant or atleast thats what I thought. I still do not understand that just because someone is put into your life that doesnt mean you marry them. My H cheated on me 10months into our marriage I was 19yrs at the time and he was 21yrs this is just one of the ones I found about during the marriage aint no telling how many there were before we got married. I was so upset I should have left him then he cried and begged me to stay and since we had just been 10months into the marriage I didnt want to give up on marriage so quick because we knew the statistics on young marriages not succeeding and ofcourse we wanted to be one on the many few young married couples that succeed. Anyway he cheated again, then again, then again, after ofcourse he promised not to from the first time he broke his promise shortly after and just became the term I first heard when I first joined this site "A Serial Cheater" I was sooo miserable everyday of the marriage not understaing why he has to constantly cheat on me.I was so confused because we had great sex, sex all time the time whenever, however, and wherever he wanted. As far as the sexual desires of want he wanted goes I tried everyway to please him in and out the bed I just really couldnt understand why he would want to cheat on me. All of his friends and everyone that knew us and met us would say we were total opposites of eachother and that I was too good from him and he did not deserve me. I use to here this even before we got married and didnt know why ppl were saying this. So because of all the cheating it made me not want to have sex with him at all so i stopped it and we had sex very little I know I know this would really make him cheat on me then. Its just that fact that I had became sexually unattracted to my H and I wanted out of the marriage do to all of his infidelity and I have heard the stories once a cheater always a cheater, but I had faith in my H and believed in him that he wouldnt do it again. Please read my two posts to get the full stories on this situation I do not want to make the post too long for anyone to read lol. Sooo I came back to the site and posted a post titled " Unbelievable is it someone else....??" Please go read that post if you havent already done so that way you will be able to understand the rest of this story..................drum roll please...... IT WAS DEFINITELY SOMEONE ELSE. MY H TRIED TO LEAVE ME IN SAY THAT ITS BECAUSE HE WAS UNHAPPY AND HE WANTED TO BE SINGLE BECAUSE HE WAS NOW 25YRS AND DIDNT WANT TO BE MARRIED ANYMORE...HE ASSURED ME THAT "THIS TIME BABY THERE ISNT ANYONE ELSE AND I'M NOT CHEATING ON YOU I JUST WANT OUT OF THE MARRIAGE TO BE FREE" B. S. I KNOW BECAUSE HE HAD ALOT OF NERVES TO FIX HIS MOUTH TO SAY HE WANTED OUT OF THE MARRIAGE AFTER ALL THE S*** HE PUT ME THROUGH...I NOW HAVE PERMENATE MEDICAL PROBLEMS DUE TO THE STRESS HE PUT ME THROUGH THROUGHOUT OUR MARRIAGE AND HE CLAIMS THAT HE WAS MISERABLE NOW I REALLY DONT GET THAT??? SINCE HE LEFT HAS NOW FORCED ME TO SIGN QUICK DIVORCE PAPERS SAYING THAT WE HAVE BEEN SEPERATED FOR 6MONTHS WHICH AT THE TIME I SIGNED THEM IT HAD ONLY BEEN ALMOST 2WKS; PUT ME OUT OF THE HOUSE THAT MY PARENTS HELPED US PAY SO THAT HIM AND THE B**** HE WAS CHEATING WITH CAN MOVE IN; I STUFFERED LIVING IN AND OUT OF HOTELS WITH NO PLACE TO STAY BECAUSE HE FORCE ME TO RESIDE IN THE STATE WE RESIDE IN AND TOOK ME AWAY FROM FAMILY; ALSO THE B**** KNEW ABOUT ME AND APPARENTLY HER AND MY H BEEN GOING OUT FOR A WHILE AND THERE IS EVEN A POSSIBLITY SHE MAY BE PREGNANT BY MY H. I FEEL LIKE I AM ON JERRY SPRINGER OR MAURY DUE TO ALL THE DRAMA THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME ALL WITHIN 2MONTHS. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I AM SOOO DEPRESSED HE PUT HER ON ALL OF OUR JOINT BANK ACCOUNTS HIM AND I HAD TOGETHER, DROPPED ME FROM OUR CAR INSURACE AND ADDED HER NAME WHERE MINES USE TO BE. I FEEL AS THOUGH SHE IS LIVING MY LIFE AND THE MESSED UP PART ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING IS SHE KNEW ABOUT ME AND SHE IS PROBABLY THE ONE WHO TOLD HIM TO LEAVE ME SO THAT SHE CAN HAVE HIM TO HERSELF...I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK ALL I KNOW IS THAT I WAS THE LAST TO KNOW ABOUT HER AND ALL OF HIS FRIENDS ALONG WITH THEIR WIVES ALL KNEW THAT MY HUSBAND WAS BEING A TRUE BASTARD BEHIND MY BACK AND I WAS LEFT IN THE DARK ON THIS WHOLE SITUATION...HE RAPED OUR BANK ACCOUNTS DRY AND LEFT ME WITH NOTHING AND TOLD ME THAT HE WISH I DIE OR SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD SO THAT HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND CAN LEAVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT THE DIVORCE. HE MAXED OUT ALL MY CREDIT CARDS BUYING HER STUFF WITH THEM AND PUTTING GAS IN HER CAR WITH MY MONEY..HE NOW SAYS THAT HE IS NOT PAYING FOR ANY OF MY CREDIT CARDS OR THE CARD NOTE THAT WE GOT TOGETHER BECAUSE HE SEEN MY STUDY PARTNER WHO HAPPENS TO BE A MAN FROM SCHOOL DRIVING ME TO THE HOSPITAL IN MY CAR AND HE GOT JEALOUS BECAUSE HE SEEN ME WITH ANOTHER MAN AND TOLD ME THAT IF HE DONT WANT ME AND IS NOT WITH ME HE IS GOING TO MAKE SURE NO ONE WANTS ME AND IS WITH ME. SINCE THE INCIDENT WHILE I WAS BEING DRIVEN TO THE HOSPITAL BY MY STUDY PARTNER MY H ATTACKED ME AND I NOW HAVE AN ORDER OF PROTECTION ON HIM FOR 2YRS BECAUSE EVERYTIME HE SEES ME HE TRIES TO HURT ME....CAN YOU ALWAYS PLEASE HELP ME I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS MATTER AND I REALLY DO NEED ALL THE ADVICE I CAN GET ON WANT TO DO NOW...IT FEELS LIKE MY WORLD IS FALLING RIGHT INFRONT OF MY EYES AND HE IS SOOO HAPPY WITH HIS NEW WOMAN AND THE WAY HE DID ME DIRTY THAT IM NOW SUFFERING AND I AM THE VICTIM AND I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY...THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING SORRY IT WAS SO LONG PLEASE HELP ME!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lexygirl Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Um ... wow. That guy is lower than scum, girl ! You DO know you deserve a million times better... right? Just forget about him and move on. Try to rebuild your life as best you can.... Go to friends and family for support and leave that disgusting bum behind ! That's all I'm gonna say for now because I honestly don't even know if this is real considering how outrageous his behaviour has been and how you actually seem to still be pinning over him. WTF? Move on ! Also, when you post, it will help the reader immensely if you use some paragraphs k? Take care. Lexy Link to post Share on other sites
Mauschen Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) In most states, you can sue him for the marital money he spent on his girlfriend during the marriage. He can't spend marital money on another woman without your consent. Get a layer to help with this. As for your ex being "happy with this other woman," I doubt it. And even if he is, you should be thankful that you are not with this man anymore. Someone who cheats on you, spends your money on another woman, attacks you, kicks you out of the house, etc is not worth the amount of emotion you are putting into him. As for you believing that God is for marriage, that is true. However, what you had was not a real marriage because your husband broke his vows to you, choosing adultery over being faithful to you. If you are Christian, adultery is a permissible reason to end a marriage. I know you feel as if your life is in ruins, but you are young and can recover and go on to live a normal life! Edited June 8, 2011 by Mauschen spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused woman23 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 Um ... wow. That guy is lower than scum, girl ! You DO know you deserve a million times better... right? Just forget about him and move on. Try to rebuild your life as best you can.... Go to friends and family for support and leave that disgusting bum behind ! That's all I'm gonna say for now because I honestly don't even know if this is real considering how outrageous his behaviour has been and how you actually seem to still be pinning over him. WTF? Move on ! Also, when you post, it will help the reader immensely if you use some paragraphs k? Take care. Lexy Hi Lexy, Lol, I thought I was putting paragraphs into my post that way it does help you all read it easier. Also I apologize in advance to everyone because I was not able to proof read or edit my post before posting so there may be so hiccups in the post that are unclear try to bear with me lol. However, Lexy, I believe you may have misunderstood when I said I didnt know what to do as me saying I still want to be married to my H and that I didnt want this marriage to end. I dont believe I spoke such words just now in this post probably before I found out all of this drama I would have still wanted it to work but H*** NO NOT NOW!!! I wouldnt take him back even if he begged and cried on all fours like the dog bastard he is so lets get that straight. I am not still pinned over him and at this point I am glad it happened so why his b**** is thinking she has a great catch because she got my H to leave me for her and basically she is living my life now as far as the luxury I had with him. It will only be a matter of time before he is doing the same thing to her also or she will do it to him. When I said I didnt know what to do I was referring to the marriage because I don't have the funds for a lawyer and it is hard for me to find legal assistance because I dont know where to go or who to turn to because everyone wants money. My H is being very difficult during this divorce he is trying to take me to court and fight for the things that he know is silly just because he wants to make my life a living hell. Also he maxed out all of my credit cards and says that he is not paying because my name is on the cards and I will have a hard time proving to the judge that he actually spent my money on his girlfriend. Also he says he is not paying the car note that he agreed to paying because he seen my friend driving me to the hospital and now he says because it was anothter man driving my car that he refuses to pay for it. But yet I see him and his b**** driving around town all the time together and he is mad because he seen me with another man and its ok for him to be with another woman. But I dont have another man in my life he fears of me having another man and I dont understand why he would be jealous if I did have someone else anyway.. Thanks again Lexy Link to post Share on other sites
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