Tragedi67 Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 Hello all....well I was just wondering about something. I'm separated and in the process of getting a divorce and I started seeing someone new. The new guy is older and has three kids and is fixed so he can't have more, but him and I just met last sunday and got together again last tuesday. We've been talking on the phone almost every night and I can't help but feel giddy like I'm in love. I don't want this to be a rebound relationship but find myself wanting to be close to this guy cause when I'm with him I'm not thinking about my ex. What should I do?? Should I take it easy with this new guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 Right now you are vulnerable and almost anything might look good. Slow down. Yes, he is a distraction. But when you begin to think more clearly in the months ahead when your feelings about yourself are much better and your divorce is final, you might feel differently about this guy. Give yourself some time out. Hey, you're single again. Smell the roses. Rushing into things is probably what got you to divorce court this time. Don't repeat mistakes from the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tragedi67 Posted September 20, 2003 Author Share Posted September 20, 2003 thanks tony for your reply. i'm going to take it easy with this new guy, but hope that we still can be more than friends. He's polite and caring and is willing to not hurt my feelings while i'm going through my divorce. I know he's not the only fish in the sea, but i am willing to take my time with it..... Link to post Share on other sites
2SidestoStories Posted September 20, 2003 Share Posted September 20, 2003 What I've discovered is that having close friends around me has been absolutely key to my healing process in my own situation. If this fellow makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, that's fantastic...but there is absolutely no reason to rush into anything. Whether or not your situation is one where you have been wanting the divorce, it will take time for you to be able to be in a relationship again. My advice would be not only to take your time with this fellow, but also to perhaps evaluate the qualities you're really looking for in a potential mate. I don't mean physical, and not necessarily even other tangible things such as financial status, etc. Also take some time to really get to know yourself again. Do you know what your part in the marriage failing was? Do you have a pattern that you've fallen into that you may need to break before you actually get into what could be a truly healthy relationship? Are you projecting those natural "this guy is NOTHING like my soon-to-be-ex-hubby!" rebound relationship expectations on this new fellow? That saying "Life's too short to drink cheap wine" can be modified slightly here to read "Life's too short to have crappy relationships with people!" That doesn't just mean romantic ones, but others in your life as well. Link to post Share on other sites
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