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Terrified of Him


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Old 13th January 2011, 2:02 PM   #1
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Terrified of Him

I left my husband 8 months ago after he pushed me and bruised me up. We had decided to part ways in December of 2009 but he would NOT move out even after I begged him to leave.

The incident in May wasn't the first time he had been physically abusive. It all started in September 2009. He tried to choke me once when we were staying at his mother's house. I vented to her and she said I should be careful what I say to him otherwise he would get violent. So basically she blamed everything on me. ( He had been in jail for harassing and assaulting his sister a couple years back ) His mother knew how violent he was. He broke things when he lived with her, punched holes on the doors at her house, called her names and did all kinds of things...but she still thinks he is a saint.

Two weeks before he was arrested for putting his hands on me, he pushed me against the door, threw a glass at me which made a hole on the wall...

He was also extremely mentally and emotionally abusive to me even before he started putting his hands on me.

He was in jail for a few days. The cops I dealt with told me to go be with my family ( which lived over 2000 miles away in Canada ) so I fled. I packed everything I could in my car but left behind all furniture and some clothes and other small things.

I never showed up for the hearing and I notified the court because I was in another country. I was afraid of seeing him. Of being around him again.

I am living with someone else now ( a guy I have known for 5 or so years ) and I am pregnant with his baby. He is an amazing guy and so supportive of me. I couldn't ask for a better man to have a child with.

The divorce is not final yet. I was notified of a default hearing a couple weeks ago which I was unaware of. ( I do know the complications this pregnancy can bring into the divorce process though... )

I am so stressed out. I am afraid he is going to come after me...hurt me or even kill me.

I feel like he still controls me from 2100 miles away. I am terrified of him. If someone knocks on the door, I do not answer because I am afraid it is him.

I sleep like crap at night and have nightmares about him at least once or twice a week.

I don't know what to do. The pregnancy itself hasn't been easy ( I have been having some health issues that are pregnancy induced ) and now with the added stress I feel like I am somehow hurting the baby.

I think the abuse has left scars forever. I am so upset and feeling lost.

Last edited by BostonGirl1984; 13th January 2011 at 2:07 PM..
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Old 13th January 2011, 2:08 PM   #2
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I would try to postpone any of that until after the birth, at which point you can go down there and settle the paper work and then leave. If you are afraid he will hurt you, I would look into having the police escort you or have a friend go with you.
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Old 13th January 2011, 2:12 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Billy_Boy View Post
I would try to postpone any of that until after the birth, at which point you can go down there and settle the paper work and then leave. If you are afraid he will hurt you, I would look into having the police escort you or have a friend go with you.
I am talking to my lawyer today. He can represent me in court. I want everything to be over with because I want to move on with my life. I went through 2 years of physical / mental / emotional abuse and I just want him out of my life completely.

I know he might be required to do a DNA test during or after the divorce ( most likely after ) but it is more than obvious that the child is not his because we hadn't been intimate in over a year when I left. I haven't seen him in 8 months and I am 4 1/2 months along.
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