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Does adultery affect getting a divorce?


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HERE I AM AGAIN.... THIS TIME IT IS TO ASK A QUESTION I HOPE SOMEONE CAN ANSWER. I HAVE MOVED OUT OF

 

THE HOME ( I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR THREE WEEKS NOW ) WITH IN THE THREE WEEKS I HAVE MEET A MAN WHO

 

RESPECTS ME VERY MUCH. WE TRIED VERY HARD NOT TO HAVE A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER UNTIL I WAS DIVORCED BUT

 

YOU KNOW..THINGS HAPPEN. MY QUESTION IS THIS..SINCE I AM THE ONE WHO FILED FOR THE DIVORCE ON THE

 

GROUNDS THAT I DONT LOVE HIM ANYMORE AND NO LONGER WANT TO BE MARRIED TO HIM WILL THE FACT THAT I

 

 

HAVE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE HURT MY CHANCES OF GETTING A DIVORCE? I KNOW ITS ADULTRY, BUT HELL I DONT

 

WANT HIM ANYMORE. I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE WAITED AND I ALSO KNOW HE CAN USE THE FACT THAT I HAVE

 

SLEPT WITH SOMEONE TO HIS ADVANTAGE.

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Did you have a written legal separation agreement ready the day you moved out?

 

A separation agreement is usually the thing that frees you up and sets the terms.

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NO I DIDNT..BUT WHEN I FILED MY PAPERS IT ASKED WHEN I MOVED OUT AND SEPERATED AND I FILLED IN THE DATE. BUT THERE WAS NO LEGAL SEPERATION PAPERS..i LIVE IN THE STATE OF INDIANA

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First of all - why are you yelling? Tone it down a notch, would ya?

 

Does your husband already know that you spread 'em to the other guy? If not, then I suggest not telling him. He can't use it against you if he doesn't know. And plus...you are already filing for divorce...why hurt him further??

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Most states are no-fault states and there are no real grounds for divorce other than irreconcilable differences. That means you can screw every man in the world before or after the divorce with no affect on the proceedings. However, if children are involved and your husband can prove you are indiscrete in your sexual dealings with other men in such a way that the children may be affected, you won't get custody from the courts. If no children are involved, what you do sexually is your business and God Bless You!!! Adultery will not affect property settlements or any other aspect of the split, except if your husband is pissed off enough he'll spend more money on attorneys to make sure the screwing you got wasn't worth the screwing you got.

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Originally posted by Tony

Most states are no-fault states and there are no real grounds for divorce other than irreconcilable differences. That means you can screw every man in the world before or after the divorce with no affect on the proceedings. However, if children are involved and your husband can prove you are indiscrete in your sexual dealings with other men in such a way that the children may be affected, you won't get custody from the courts. If no children are involved, what you do sexually is your business and God Bless You!!! Adultery will not affect property settlements or any other aspect of the split, except if your husband is pissed off enough he'll spend more money on attorneys to make sure the screwing you got wasn't worth the screwing you got.

 

I liked the last line...Cute

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Originally posted by ladyday2u

I am out of the home so there is nothing that I am doing before my minor child.

 

Does this mean you left the child with your husband and just moved out?

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Since that's the case, I doubt that there would be any problem with the divorce. It sounds like you're planning to let the father have custody, so why would he try to make things difficult for you? Is he fighting the divorce?

 

I would just be very careful about keeping things private until after the divorce and don't talk to people about your personal business so that it doesn't get back to your husband.

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VASH THE STAMPEDE

from what a lawyer friend of mine said, was that in the state of indiana; if your former spouse could prove without a doubt you commited adultry, its a 75% chance you could lose everything.you have to remember each judge judges differently.

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"you have to remember each judge judges differently."

 

Every judge everywhere has to rule according to the law. Judges are not allowed to make law in the courtroom. If they use their discretion to liberally, they will surely be reversed on appeal. If they do it too often, they are removed from the bench by the chief judge or the judicial review board in their state.

 

The only way you can prove adultery is if one or the other party testifies in court or if you have video of the act. As for your 50-50 statement, you are correct. Most states are community property states in which assets are divided equally between the parties.

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I need to know when you file for a divorce if the other spouse creates a debt are you responsible for it as well.I have filed for the divorce on july 25th 2003. so can he make debts on me?

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2SidestoStories

I know that's a contingency in my divorce, actually...that his debt is his and mine is mine since our separation. I'd talk it over with your lawyer!

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I hope his debt is his and mine is mine.I dont have a legal seperation from him..I just moved out of the home on July17, but I have filed for the divorce. Our final hearing is oct. 3rd.

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you are still married until the divorce is final. any money owed at time of divorce you will owe half,unless stated different in the divorce, you can request any credit he received after papers were filled to be his responsibility,i don't know if they will.

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Legally, adultery means illicit sexual relations with a third party during the time of marriage, which means right up to the time the final papers are signed, sealed and delivered.

 

In reality, though, a plaintiff (i.e. offended spouse) has to prove that the adultery is what caused the marriage to dissolve, which means that it most likely has to have occurred while the couple was still living together. If, after you move out, you meet someone else and you can establish that these are the true circumstances, then you shouldn't have to worry.

 

That said, jumping into a new relationship merely three weeks after moving out of your house - while the marriage is still legal and without having filed separation papers, no less - is putting you at risk, and it's also putting your lover at risk, too, though he stands much less of a chance of getting sued than you. The reason it's risky is that while this may have, in fact, occurred after the intent to separate was manifest, witnesses and court room observers may or may NOT see it that way. They may suspect that this started BEFORE the marriage dissolved, and that it was, in fact, the cause of its demise.

 

My advice is to keep your mouth shut. I wouldn't even go around posting this stuff on the Net. And remember, be careful, if your ex wants to he can hire a private dick to snoop on you. Watch what you do carefully until the separation papers are signed. After that, you're probably home free.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Well maybe there's an attorney out there who can fill us in.

 

My understanding of it is that it could include things like: pictures of romantic behavior (i.e. kissing, holding hands, hugging in public); eyewitness accounts from neighbors and other people who may have observed such behavior (i.e. frequent visits to someone's house - particularly at lunchtime or at night); testimony from friends and associates who can provide statements suggesting they knew about or suspected an affair (i.e. the spouse or the lover shared a few details with friends about the affair over some beer); if they want to go that far, they could subpoena phone/internet or computer records. I'm sure there are other examples.

 

I don't condone affairs in any way. But if you're gonna play around, best keep your mouth shut and stay outta sight. What's interesting is that almost always, the two players eventually get caught. Adultery gets sloppy over a period of time. Passion gets the better of them, and sometimes spouse doesn't even care whether he/she gets discovered. Best thing is, if you're not happy, either get out of the marriage or do something to make it better. Adultery's a stupid and costly way to end a marriage.

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Depends again on the particular laws in Indiana. But if the debt was attained by one persons signature, if you did not co-sign, at least in Utah, the person who did not sign is not responsible for the debt, you can get a court order to stop you from being a responsible party to "I will show you" spending sprees from an angry spouse. Check your divorce laws on the net.

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Better yet, if you are that worried about anything dealing with a divorce, get a Lawyer. It will certainly be worth it in the long run. Don't guess at things as serious as a divorce or take the word of anyone off the net. Most likely around 500 bucks as a retainer fee will get you some solid, knowledgeable answers. Also peace of mind, which is priceless. :D

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