Things are getting worse

[tobydog]

Stbex has been gone for 7 weeks and things are getting worse between us. He will not talk or see his son at all. Just pops in to get stuff for the business and when I text him asking for some money said he would bring some today but is in big debt. He never showed up. All he can say is I have ruined his life etc but then found out he has some OW, a woman of poor repute who is older than me, I am 50, he is 40. He nicked my car last weekend to take the slapper up to Scotland. I have it back now as his mother went mad with him. He is getting angrier and won't do anything but shout. I am on anti depressants and having therapy which has been good as I can see it's not only my fault that he chose to abandon us.

He has filed for divorce. I actually felt less ill today and am so angry with him too for all the debt etc. he still denies the OW. Why do they do that?

I cannot see us ever talking rationally. I try to be calm and stay out the way when he comes. He also won't take his stuff or give me the house key back. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Debbie

I mean what can I do next? I went through all the begging bit and have left him alone, but we have a much longed for boy too.

[worlybear]

Go and see a solicitor NOW. Ask friends for recommendations if you can. You need to be proactive and protect yourself and your son financially. I don't know if you qualify for legal aid but, at the very least, most solicitors will offer 30-45mins free initial consultation.

He is blaming you and denying OW because he is in denial and its easier for him if its not his fault.

Stay strong and keep posting. Also, how do you know he HAS contacted a solicitor? You need to contact yours and file for unreasonable behaviour.(His actions all fit this category.)Not sure if you are in England or Scotland but you need to contact the CSA a.s.a.p for your son.

If you have loans and share a bank account ,close any personal accounts and transfer them to a DIFFERENT bank. Do NOT leave any money that can be accessed to pay off his debts/shared accounts.

If this seems harsh then archive my story (LS devestated 18 months ago.)

I've learned a lot from these guys on LS since then. Good luck and keep posting!:bunny:

[Don Ho]

Good advice. Keep going to counseling. Maybe see if you can find a women's support group. I think it's best for you to leave him alone. It also doesn't sound like he has or wants to give you money. I'm not sure what the legalities are, but you may be able to change the locks (you can't here in the States). Talk with you GFs and try to get other support. Naturally you're upset about the OW and why it happened. That's normal. Sorry about your situation. It will get better at some point, it always does!