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I have been married for 16 years. I have 2 teenage daughters who live with me. My wife put in for a divorce in Dec 2009. She moved out of the family home and into a flat that her new partner is paying for but i have proof that both their names are on the rental agreement. After six moths she is now saying that she is missing the girls and that she is homeless and wants to move back in and for me to move out. I had changed the lock after i received a letter from her solicitor saying that she had moved out and it was after she told me she was moving out and she had removed nearly all her stuff. The letter was dated 10th feb. I am on jobseekers and i receive child benefit for my 2 girls. The mortgage is in my name only. Her name has never been on it and it has always been me paying. She has only ever worked part time and still does. At the last mediation she was asking for a key and to move back in saying that me changing the lock was illegal and at least while the divorce is going through she feels that she is legally allowed to stay. She got the keys to the flat with her new partner on 4th Jan and for a year and a half before this i had been sleeping downstairs. There had been no intimacy for two years. So thinking about it we had been living separated for at least 2 years!

Where do i stand with the law? The decree nisi was pronounced on the 26th May. Do i have a legal right to not give her a key and refuse her sleeping here. At the moment she comes and goes and has never been stopped seing the girls. But she chose to leave and she started another relationship while she was still living here. When they got the flat she left. I told her not to go but she felt she had to. I did not kick her out.

Thanks. S

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If I understand what you have said correctly, she has no right to have a key to your home much less move in. From what you wrote it sounds like your divorce was final May 26th or is that just the filing and you are waiting for the actual decree?

 

She left the home, she moved, you have proof of that from her attorney and the rental agreement. She no longer legally resides in that house nor does she have a right to. Any changes to that would have to be done via legal negotiation initiated by her prior to the final decree.

 

I'm not an attorney, but have been divorced and witnessed quite a few. In my state this is why every attorney tells their divorce client to remain in the home until they are legally ordered by a judgment to leave.

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curiousnycgirl

I am not an attorney/solicitor either - nor have I been divorced - but I've seen lots of divorces among my friends.

 

Has the court already ruled on disposition of assets? If yes and you have been granted the house in full - then you do not have to let her in. If they have not, or you have not been granted the house in full, then I you need to ask your attorney/solicitor about the law.

 

Although her name is not on the mortgage/title to the home, it is likely considered a marital asset - so you really need a ruling on this.

 

At least that is how it works in the US - I believe your are from the UK, so I'm less certain of your laws.

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Thanks for your help.

Yes she is legally allowed to receive a share after the house is sold and she agrees now that this will be after the kids finish full time education. The decree absolute would normally be six weeks after the decree nisi but she would probably be advised to wait until the house, finnancial and contact arrangemnts have been sorted. So in the meantime (as i cannot seem to get to see or speak to my solicitor as she always seems too busy) i am worried if she does turn up with bags and refuses to leave. She is hoping to get legal aid so to get it we both have to be seen to have tried to settle it out of court at mediation. So at the moment nothing has been agreed or signed at all. And at the last mediation she was telling me that she was legally allowed to stay so that is what got me worried.

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I would leave the legal onus on her to prove she has the right to live in the house. She left a long time ago, she moved her stuff. If she wants back in let her prove to the authorities she has the right. With the only legal documents either of you have at this time being those showing she moved...I'd lock the door until a legal authority told me I could not.

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Hi,

 

I have just finished my law degree in the UK, but I don't get my results to know whether I have passed it for another 8 days, I am also not a qualified solicitor yet. I am however currently doing work experience in Family Law so I might be able to help, but please bear in mind I cannot offer you legally binding advice and you MUST speak to your solicitor.

 

OK, so disclaimer out of the way! LOL Hopefully I can help to put your mind at ease somewhat this evening until you can speak to your solicitor tomorrow. First of all under the Matrimonal Clauses Act the division of property in a divorce is up to the judge, whose name is on what has no bearing on the division of assests at the dissolution of a marriage. Second, the judge will take into account the needs of any minor children and the property of where they permantely reside. From what you have said your wife voluntarily left the matrimonal home and you have a residence order for the children? My take on this would be as the decree nisi has been issued your wife cannot legally return to live in the house, particularly if you have agreed in mediation that you will hold the property on trust for sale under TOLATA s.14 until the children reach the age of majority. In English, because you and your wife have agreed that you will keep the house for yourself and your children, whom you have custody of until they reach either 16 years or 18 years if they remain in full time education or vocational scheme employment, your wife cannot now go back on that agreement b/c the decree nisi has been issued. However, like I said I am not certain on this and you must speak with your solicitor first thing tomorrow.

 

You said your solicitor is too busy to return your call? This is unacceptable, this is an urgent matter that you need to take their legal advice on as you need to know how best to deal with it if she turns up demanding to be let in. One of the first letters your lawyer will have sent you is called a client care letter, sometimes its called terms of instruction. You need to read this and find the procedure for complaints. Telephone your solicitor at 9am and if you can't speak to her ask to speak to her legal secretary. Tell them that you need to speak to your lawyer as a matter of urgency and briefly explain the situation. If she does not return your call by lunch time, call again and ask to speak to whoever it says to complain to in your client care letter.

 

Hope that helps.

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Thanks for your help.

Yes she is legally allowed to receive a share after the house is sold and she agrees now that this will be after the kids finish full time education. The decree absolute would normally be six weeks after the decree nisi but she would probably be advised to wait until the house, finnancial and contact arrangemnts have been sorted. So in the meantime (as i cannot seem to get to see or speak to my solicitor as she always seems too busy) i am worried if she does turn up with bags and refuses to leave. She is hoping to get legal aid so to get it we both have to be seen to have tried to settle it out of court at mediation. So at the moment nothing has been agreed or signed at all. And at the last mediation she was telling me that she was legally allowed to stay so that is what got me worried.

 

Sorry, I just reread this, I did not realise you had not formally agreed the terms of your divorce. Now I am not sure of her legal position regarding moving in. I would say to you however that the mediator is not legally qualified and is netural so anything she says there is not necessarily correct in law. Like I said in my previous post, conatct your lawyer first thing, if you don't get any joy then follow the complaints procedure in your client care letter, no firm likes to get complaints and if you have to speak to a senior partner they won't be very happy that you have had no other choice but to follow the procedure and you will get a returned call! I can almost guarntee that!

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Darth Vader
I would leave the legal onus on her to prove she has the right to live in the house. She left a long time ago, she moved her stuff. If she wants back in let her prove to the authorities she has the right. With the only legal documents either of you have at this time being those showing she moved...I'd lock the door until a legal authority told me I could not.

 

 

How in the world can she get part of the house if her name's not on the mortgage? Did you buy the house before or after you were married?:confused:

 

Secondly, she left the home, I would go for Abandonment if I were you! You have the proof she willingly moved out to carry on an affair, I don't know if the courts look at that where you're at. Wouldn't that be considered abuse towards the children in some way?:confused:

 

So you changed the locks while she was out screwing God knows who, that may have put the children in danger, especially if her lover was a drug user or some pervert. How could you know, you're trying to be the responsible one and protect the children from harm!:eek:

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How in the world can she get part of the house if her name's not on the mortgage? Did you buy the house before or after you were married?:confused:

 

Secondly, she left the home, I would go for Abandonment if I were you! You have the proof she willingly moved out to carry on an affair, I don't know if the courts look at that where you're at. Wouldn't that be considered abuse towards the children in some way?:confused:

 

So you changed the locks while she was out screwing God knows who, that may have put the children in danger, especially if her lover was a drug user or some pervert. How could you know, you're trying to be the responsible one and protect the children from harm!:eek:

 

The law is very different in the UK, firstly there is no fault in the divorce process. You can dicorce on grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour but the division of property is not fault based. Otherwise if their are no grounds it is 2 years legal seperation with agreement of both spouses to divorce or 5 years seperation with no agreement. Secondly the division of assets is up to a Judge, whose name is on what does not mean that the spouse whose name is not on the title of the property does not have a beneficial interest in the property (English trust law, no US comaparision), its complicated, but it goes mainly on minor children and length of marriage and is all governed by a Statute (Act of Parliment) called the Matrimonal Clauses Act. Hope that makes it a bit clearer.

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Darth Vader
there is also desertion, but it is rarely used as grounds these days.

 

 

But, not impossible! I suggest that our man here grow a pair so to speak (I know he has already) and go for the desertion, his wife will do anything from the sounds of her actions already, no point for him to be amicable to her just for her to rape him in court! She will fight Dirty mister, COUNT ON IT! No need for you to just roll over and take that!:eek:

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Hi,

 

I have just finished my law degree in the UK, but I don't get my results to know whether I have passed it for another 8 days, I am also not a qualified solicitor yet. I am however currently doing work experience in Family Law so I might be able to help, but please bear in mind I cannot offer you legally binding advice and you MUST speak to your solicitor.

 

OK, so disclaimer out of the way! LOL Hopefully I can help to put your mind at ease somewhat this evening until you can speak to your solicitor tomorrow. First of all under the Matrimonial Clauses Act the division of property in a divorce is up to the judge, whose name is on what has no bearing on the division of assets at the dissolution of a marriage. Second, the judge will take into account the needs of any minor children and the property of where they permanently reside. From what you have said your wife voluntarily left the matrimonial home and you have a residence order for the children? My take on this would be as the decree nisi has been issued your wife cannot legally return to live in the house, particularly if you have agreed in mediation that you will hold the property on trust for sale under TOLATA s.14 until the children reach the age of majority. In English, because you and your wife have agreed that you will keep the house for yourself and your children, whom you have custody of until they reach either 16 years or 18 years if they remain in full time education or vocational scheme employment, your wife cannot now go back on that agreement b/c the decree nisi has been issued. However, like I said I am not certain on this and you must speak with your solicitor first thing tomorrow.

 

You said your solicitor is too busy to return your call? This is unacceptable, this is an urgent matter that you need to take their legal advice on as you need to know how best to deal with it if she turns up demanding to be let in. One of the first letters your lawyer will have sent you is called a client care letter, sometimes its called terms of instruction. You need to read this and find the procedure for complaints. Telephone your solicitor at 9am and if you can't speak to her ask to speak to her legal secretary. Tell them that you need to speak to your lawyer as a matter of urgency and briefly explain the situation. If she does not return your call by lunch time, call again and ask to speak to whoever it says to complain to in your client care letter.

 

Hope that helps.

 

 

Whoa! This is the same LisaUK of a couple of months ago ~ right! You sound so vibrant, self confident, self assured, self assuring, self validating. ;):cool:

 

Not to high jack the thread ~ but it you and you alone that is responsible for your self happiness and contentment! Attempting to do so and a finding validation and happiness through another is a 'fool's errand"

 

But you know that now ~ you've learned that now ~ haven't you.

 

"Take the pebble from my hand Grasshopper!"

 

You have learned and grown so much since your orginaly posted here at LS!

 

You Rock!

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