Dinkie Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 My husband & I have been having problems for about 8 mo. He is just not happy with the marriage but truley loves me. I was not a great partner and admitted this. We have been in counseling which has helped somewhat but he has been talking Divorse or Seperation. He feels he needs his space. I suggested open marriage. I have a good attitude on this. He wants to go out, meet other women. We have set up some good ground rules. No one in our home, be respectful of each other, be protected. We have no children but we have cats. If he is not going to spend the night at home, he needs to let me know. I told him right now, I have no desire to go looking. I want him to see what is out there. We have 19 yrs together and we both love each other. Either he sees what is on the other side is not there for him, that it is what he has at home, or he finds that someone and we go our seperate ways. I actually feel very good about this Link to post Share on other sites
broken hearted Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I think an open marriage is a huge mistake! Marriage is between 2 people, not 2 people plus whoever else you feel like sleeping with. This is just my opinion...marriage is a sacred committment between 2 people to be with no one other than your spouse til death do you part. Link to post Share on other sites
Trying09 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I agree with Broken Hearted...there is obviously some issues to begin with, why make it more complicated and messy by allowing other people in. You should have enough love and respect for yourself to know that your guy wanting to bring other women into your marriage is not ok! don't let him downgrade you. You are his wife not his fallback! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 What you're talking about is not 'open marriage'.. IMO.. because it's only for HIM.. it's a one-side deal.. you do it because you don't want to lose him.. My advice: if you go with this.. do NOT tell him that he is the ONLY one going out with others.. let him think that you're having your cake too.. he might change his mind about it.. but IMO.. if he knows that you're not going outside..then he will NOT stop.. he will take advantage of this situation.. and this could be dangerous to really lose him.. Just my 2 cents.. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Just a different way of saying; I'm tired of what I have & want something better & if I find it then I'll dump your a$$!!!!!!! If he "loves" you then this subject wouldn't even cross his mind.... There is more to a relationship then sex & both of you need to find out why it's not working in your marriage not to cover it up & force someone to look elsewhere..... NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!! This is coming from someone that cheated on his wife so I understand. I learned it was how I grew up that I didn't get the love I needed then so in my marriage I didn't think I was getting it so I looked elsewhere. What my problem was is I wasn't happy with myself so I was looking to others to make me happy..... Link to post Share on other sites
Haeker Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 You've already lost him, kiddo. No matter how bad of a partner you might have been, he should NEVER under ANY circumstances violate your marriage. To even CONSIDER something like that makes him just like all the other guys out there - a fake, a fraud, a loser - a TRUE loser. My advice is this: A) Put your foot down. Say "NO." Absolutely. B) If he does it anyway, file for divorce. C) If he argues, stand your ground. You're worth it, girl. Period. Marriage is NOT something to be trashed. -Sir Joshua Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 Such desperation. Is he worth losing your self-respect over? What about the potential sexually transmitted diseases he could pick up and pass on to you? Is he worth your emotional and physical well being? If you say yes, then it's just one-sided. If he goes through with what you are suggesting, he has zero respect and love for you and will eventually leave you anyway, with or without nookie from other women. You stick to this plan and through his eyes, you are worthless and will then treat you accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
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