PWSX3 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 O.K. this is just my thoughts on blended families..... First for those who are thinking of leaving or aren't in "love" I feel if they would put the time & effort into there marriage that they will put into leaving they would be amazed how much better the marriage would be. I feel people are just giving up to easy, that we are a throw away society & people think it is easier to just start over. Some of you know my story & my wife gave me the speech, I love you but I'm not in love with you... She left last Aug. filed for divorce in Jan. & we were divorced in April. I met a girl in a class I took last fall, didn't see much of her after the class until a couple months ago when we started to date. Things are going very well but she has two boys, one 9 & 17 & I have a 19 year old. I also am seeing a counselor & he said a blended family will be the hardest thing you will do & I am starting to believe him. I guess why I am posting this is for those that aren't sure about there marriage & I just want to say; do whatever you can to keep the marriage together. In one of my classes they say your first marriage is your best bet, but I do understand some just won't work & some are even toxic. I do feel mine could have been saved because of what I am learning, but I also know the former wife has some issues she needs to work on & she won't admit to them. So now I am happy with my new G/F but it is taking a lot of work, there are a lot of things you need to compromise on & it takes a lot of talking......... I understand it is going to take work & I am willing to put in the work it is going to take, she is such a great girl & the boys get along very well.... So for those who think if I get divorced I can find someone else & it will be lot better. Sorry that isn't always the case & if you thought your marriage took a lot of work, I would say double or even triple that for a blended family.... Just wanted to share, thanks Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 It always takes works. Whether you are in a new or old relationship. If you are alone. It's always work. Thanks for the input. I know a guy right now that just left his long time girlfriend because their kids could not get along. Also the way we treat and discipline our kids differently creates tension. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PWSX3 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Thanks for the input. I know a guy right now that just left his long time girlfriend because their kids could not get along. Also the way we treat and discipline our kids differently creates tension. Something else my counselor & I learned in divorce care class. Your kids will always want you & your spouse to get back together, they don't want to see there parents separated. At first when you are dating they don't say much, might go along with the flow, but once you get serious or you get remarried they will turn on you. They have your attention now but when someone else comes into your life they don't like that. It is good to learn this stuff before so you are one step ahead of the kids hopefully. Yes anytime there are two people involved in a relationship whether it's marriage, B/F G/F, or even working with someone it takes work....Something I'm learning & when you realize that & are welling to do your part it sure makes it easier. My former wife did good pushing me out & making me wake up, my G/F sure is happy because of it & so am I..... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 PWSX3, while I don't have experience with a blended family, I can say that not all relationships are a lot of work. The relationship/engagement I'm in now, has been an eye-opener about how easy relationships can be, when both people pull their weight effortlessly, since it's not viewed as work in a negative light. Link to post Share on other sites
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