frithdun Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 im 26 bin with my husband since i was 16 and two weeks ago had him removed by police for attacking me (once again). this time i saw the fear in my little boys eyes and new i had to do something. what i dont get is why is it me that seems to be struggling with the break up and not him?? why is it that hes the one who hit me and yet its me that has social services coming nocking?? Link to post Share on other sites
headlesschicken Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 well remember you will never know how it's really affecting him because you can't read his mind. stay strong for yourself and your child(ren). social services just wants to ensure that the children are safe. their safety is of the utmost importance. Link to post Share on other sites
toddro Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 im 26 bin with my husband since i was 16 and two weeks ago had him removed by police for attacking me (once again). this time i saw the fear in my little boys eyes and new i had to do something. what i dont get is why is it me that seems to be struggling with the break up and not him?? why is it that hes the one who hit me and yet its me that has social services coming nocking?? Its because you have been submissive to him for so long that he knows he can get away with this, you need help. You have a child who has an abusive father...the reason social services is knocking on your door is because they could give a rats ass about your husband...they are there for your child. Either way, you need support. Remember this one thing...it's not about YOU anymore. You are a parent, You have a child, Who is the adult here? You? Your Ex? The Child? You know the answer to this one, your 26 years old so do what is best for your child in every choice and every action you take. You come second. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 GET HELP!!! Find a group in your area that helps woman in this situation.....They will help you & it will be the best thing you ever did!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Dad_of_3 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Stockholm's Syndrome ... >.< No person, male, female adult or child deserves abuse in any way or form. Mental or physical. Physical right now is bad enough but brusises heal. The damage he is doing to your children will leave lasting effects for years to come. Get out and get out now. There is no waiting to see if something gets better. Seek help in your immediate area immediately. Social Services may have popped up to make sure the childrens welfare are best taken into account. Since you've been with him so long, it may seem to them you have enabled this kind of behaviour for all this time. Now is the time to say it Stops and no more. You deserve better than this crap, you deserve better than to be treated like a second-clas citizen. Move, protect yourself and your children and yes time will heal certain wounds. My best wishes to you and your children Link to post Share on other sites
Author frithdun Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 hi just wanted to say thanks - im getting stronger everyday and realising that what you are saying is very true. i have just this evening booked a holiday for my kids so im hoping its going to be the start of a new and exciting life for us Link to post Share on other sites
Author frithdun Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Its because you have been submissive to him for so long that he knows he can get away with this, you need help. You have a child who has an abusive father...the reason social services is knocking on your door is because they could give a rats ass about your husband...they are there for your child. Either way, you need support. Remember this one thing...it's not about YOU anymore. You are a parent, You have a child, Who is the adult here? You? Your Ex? The Child? You know the answer to this one, your 26 years old so do what is best for your child in every choice and every action you take. You come second. hi thanks for that, i am feeling that little bit stronger everyday and my son seems so much happier now. now ive had time to think (and calm down) i can see why social services had to come. they saw that i do my best for my kids and i guess its just routine. hes gone, not coming back ever and i feel much better for having made that decision, i actually feel like i can start having a life. thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
toddro Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 hi thanks for that, i am feeling that little bit stronger everyday and my son seems so much happier now. now ive had time to think (and calm down) i can see why social services had to come. they saw that i do my best for my kids and i guess its just routine. hes gone, not coming back ever and i feel much better for having made that decision, i actually feel like i can start having a life. thanks again No problem, social services can be a big help...let them do their job and use them to the fullest extent possible. And just to clarify, you have a life and have alwaYS HAD ONE...its your kids....I know trust me, the nights can be lonley sometimes and you feel like you are all alone...but you MUST stay strong...you dont have choice....remember Karma is a bitch. Best of luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
Dad_of_3 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 hi thanks for that, i am feeling that little bit stronger everyday and my son seems so much happier now. now ive had time to think (and calm down) i can see why social services had to come. they saw that i do my best for my kids and i guess its just routine. hes gone, not coming back ever and i feel much better for having made that decision, i actually feel like i can start having a life. thanks again Just remember good times and bad times will come and go. Ride them out, cause yes there is actually a time when all will feel right. No thanks are needed, you're the one on the journey. Look in the mirror and see the strong, determined and good woman and thank her for making the right choice not only for her but her boy. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsywoman Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 fight it! whatever you can do to keep you and your children safe! no one deserves physical abuse as it leads to emotional abuse. YOU SHOULD LIVE TO LOVE AND BE HAPPY.. not in fear and depression... and worry and confusion. as stated above, find a support group and empower yourself. you deserve to shine! Link to post Share on other sites
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