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i kissed her neck and may lose my marriage


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t started off at our apt. my wife her cousin and one of her friends were all drinking pretty heavily throughout the night. normally i would never even go clubbing because i feel like dancing is very sexual and intimate (were in our low 20's) throughout the night my wife kept putting me between her cousin and her friend and i honestly stepped aside on several occasions telling her i didn't feel right and she kept telling me it was alright and putting me back. later on in the night she was dancing with her cousin and i was dancing with her friend and unfortunately i made the mistake of kissing her neck starring my wife in her eyes and her friend had my hands which she was moving up and down her legs. in all honesty i don't remember doing this yet i know it's not an excuse. it shouldn't have happened regardless of the reasoning and i regret it every day. since the incident my wife and i are technically "apart" but still living and sleeping in the same room. she says she wants things to work but she's not sure if she can get over me "cheating" on her that night. I love this girl more than anything in the world and would never intentionally do anything to harm her. I know i want to spend the rest of my life with her and i just need some direction as to how i could fix this mistake. any help would be nice

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Uhh, you and your wife put yourselves in a stupid situation. Drinking, dancing and your wife even kept pushing you into her friend and the cousin.

 

Yeah it was stupid of you to kiss her neck and allow her to move your hands up and down her legs.

 

Let me ask you - IS your wife pissed at her friend for guiding your hands to move up and down her legs?

 

You two need to talk and settle this. Start by apologizing and asking her to go to couples counselling with you. That you want to save the marriage.

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she hasn't talked to her friend since the incident and i agree it was stupid. she's agreed to marriage counseling we're just waiting on a counselor to get back to us actually. I've apologized several times she says she just cant get over it. I can't really talk about the incident w her or even bring up the fact that she was pushing it w me dancing w her friend and cousin because it just pisses her off and she flips the script with the whole "o its my fault" ordeal....

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Simplycaroline

You in my opinion have not cheated on your wife. There are a whole host of situations over the years that will find yourself in that you will have to decide how to handle and believe it or not so will she. You are human and when humans have had to much to drink chaos oft times ensues because alcohol lowers the inhabitions.

 

When you told your wife that you did not feel comfortable being placed in the middle she should have listened to you. The next time and there will be a next time that you are out and about together and if she does something like this INSIST that she STOPS and respects what you are saying.

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When you told your wife that you did not feel comfortable being placed in the middle she should have listened to you

 

I agree, and he should've taken it a step further by NOT dancing with the cousin and the friend, even though his wife insisted and pushed him into it.

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Simplycaroline
I agree, and he should've taken it a step further by NOT dancing with the cousin and the friend, even though his wife insisted and pushed him into it.

 

This is true. I thought that I had that covered when I said he should have insisted. This is not about blaming his wife for me both of them made equal contributions to this situations. To often when relationships get into trouble and end or near it people are not honest with themselves about the roles that they played in it then they agonize about why. The hardest person the be honest with and true to is yourself. If people can do that then then they have a leg up. This young man is being honest about his part but to me it sounds like his wife is not being so honest about her role in this. AGAIN this is not about blaming but everyone acknowleging their roles. Then you can work through the problems. If that can't be done then relationships fail.

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