Separation

[jenshubby1980]

Hello,

I am new to this community and am in search of some much needed advice and support. Heres the story.

My wife and I have been married for almost 6 years. I love her to death. I was deployed to Iraq in Dec 2002. All was well. When I came back this I had become a compltely different person. I was I got out of the military in 2003 and thats when the rough road started. We moved to michigan and and moved into my childhood home. My parents didnt live there anymore and my dad owned it. He was a real jerk to us, and she put up with it. We moved out of that house and moved in with my grandfather. The whole time, I was lying to her about stupid stuff. Like bills, money issuses, just totally stupid things. Anyways, After we moved in with my grandfather he became ill and passed away. I joined the Army in 2004. We moved to Kentucky and started over again. All the while I was still lying about stupid stuff, and we became financially unstable. She wanted me to get mental help and I told her at the time that I didnt have a problem and that I felt fine. In 2007 I got into some legal trouble and was put in jail for 2 months. Which left her all alone. I got released in June of this year and moved again. Everything was fine. We both got jobs and it was ok. I started in with my lying again and she had finally had it. She kicked me out of the house last weekend when she went to Cincinnati with her friend. She was with another guy. She said that she wants to be separated for awhile. I finally realized that I do have some kind of mental problem and went and started getting help for it. During her weekend away I did some pretty outrageous things. I was trying to get into her email accounts, cell phone, anything to find out what she was doing, who she was with, or where she even was. Im scared that its too late to save our marriage. I really do love her and care about her. I know I shouldnt have done the things that I did to hurt her. I just want to know what I need to do to save our realationship. What can I do to regain her trust? Can it be done? She didnt say that she wanted a divorce. Should I call and talk to her, or should I just leave her alone and do nothing? I dont know what to do, im confused. I know I seem like an evil person. I dont want to be though. I hate myself for everything that I have put her through. I have told her that but I dont think that she cares. I dont know what to do. I would appreciate any help that you can give me. Thank you

[TrustInYourself]

Its pointless to call. Its time to man up. Let your actions show that you mean business. Go to therapy for yourself. Understand yourself. Grow from the experience.

 

Your history shows that you have issues. You can come to terms and learn from your mistakes. Its up to you.

 

Respect her decision. Respect yourself. Do not chase her and plead and beg and try and reason with her. It is all pointless begging at this point.

 

Change is going to take a lot of reflection and self improvement. In the meantime, leave it be. Give it some time. If she is moving out, you need to accept that its over. That should be your priority in regards to your wife.