unsure of this so called new way of living !!

[justseperatedintexas]

married? Happy ever after, grow old together ,i will love you forever ,we will always be together, I thought so anyway, for 21 years then one night he started acting distant saying he hadn't been happy for a long time said he had been telling me for a long time but of corse i didn't get it. now he is gone, said he doesn't know if he is coming back or not but that at this time he has no plans to come home. he met a new friend or so i thought she was just an employee but over time she became his 'best friend' so what happened to him and i?

 

"they"talked all of the time so when he finally got home he didn't have anything to say they had already talked about everything. she has done this before or so her husband says, they arn't actually married but have been together for 15 years. she enjoys the thrill of the chase. she says to her husband she has no feelings for my husband at all but that he is her back up plan. her husband says its strickly the money. she just doesn't realize that there is no money to be had. the things that i have done i am trying to correct so that we can get on with our life, but he thinks he has done no wrong.

 

it's all my fault. he started having to be with her all the time. she made for sure that me and my boys were out of the picture as well as her husband. she bought him a money clip for christmas this year but we had already exchanged gifts as friends. he gave her a ring that she wore on her ring finger and they both lied or just didn't tell me and her husband why did he have to lie? if it wasn't a big deal then why hide it or lie? he said he didn't see anything wrong with buying it for her they were just friends. I say that crossed the line very bad.

 

21 years of marriage and he still hasn't even bought me a wedding ring. i guess its not that important we know we are married right? he bought a candle and said it was for me, hid it from me when he bought it and then gave it to her...she quit her job blamed it on me got unemployment he knows,tried to hire her back she wouldn't come back he backed her on the unemployment thing she got it and is now working and living with her husband and they are still best of friends. oh by the way she gets a cell phone her husband apperantly knows nothing about, on our bill there is 21 calls from my husband to her and 44 calls from her to him.

 

some are at 5:00 in the morning for 30-45 minutes long while her husband is still in there bed asleep. is that balls or what!!!! my husband doen't know that i know about all of this. she continues to talk to him if she would back off maybe our family would have a chance but she won't so here i set with 4 kids, 2 of which are young 40 years old and have no clue what to do with my life.

 

he says he isn't coming home but he is still running our home like he is there. he doesn't waht me to get a job on the side i don't know why i am tired of having to rely on him what happenes when he decides he is tired of helping me with the boys he is not there for them at all i would never have seen this coming he has done a complete turn he is nothing like he used to be he used to be a honest,christian , very family orenated, very loving husband that would do anything for his family now he wants nothing to do with any of us.especially me.

 

i love him so much but i don't know how much more i can take before i give up. i love him but i don't think that that is enough anymore. help let me know if i am just stupid for hanging on or if there is really some hope is it just a midlife crisis and he will get thru it or should i just cut my loses and start again???

 

 

justseperatedintexas:love: