Keep Trying but I want to leave

[dreamin81]

My husband and I have been married for five years and have two children. I have never been happy in this marriage. I come from a broken home and vowed never to do that to my children. But, I am miserable staying with my husband. I am in school and do not have a job. Supporting my children and I would be difficult. It is almost easier to live with the pain I know than to step out and try to make it on my own. I have been with my husband since I was 18.

 

He has been the only man I have ever lived with or loved. I know in my heart that he is not good for me, and that we are not good for each other. I love him and I hate him at the same time. We have seperated and gotten back together several times. But, I always go back. He's like a habit I can't seem to break. And there's the kids. They love him and he's great with them. I just tell myself I can suffer through this until they are 18. Pretend to be happy. I just feel so stressed and I am not myself anymore. What should I do? I want to be happy again. I want to be me again.

[Guest]

We have a two year old daughter, and things are crappy between us.

We are on our third sepration.

He is a good guy, never hit me or anything, dosn't drink, bleh, bleh bleh.

I just am unhappy, iwas 17 when I met him, and I have just changed.

And it sucks cause he seems like the good guy here, even though when we seperated he said some pretty nasty things, he even went as far to tell me that my mother told him she hated me.

 

well that was during the relationship.

I don't know what to do either. I have no job no money and am trying to move on back it seems so easy to go back to him.

aand not have to worry anymore, cause I know that he does love me.

I am scared I will never find someone who will love my daughter and me the same way he does.

I don't know what to do either, keep me updated.

I really would like to hear.

Melissa