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Gunny, legs..it Feels good but part of it feels wrong


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Old 6th February 2007, 5:37 AM   #1
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Unhappy Gunny, legs..it Feels good but part of it feels wrong

Ok, now gunny you are going to tell me how stupid I am I am sure. And legs you may do the same thing. But I am having a small problem. I am out and dating again. we all know that and I am taking everybodies advice and taking everything slow. although there is one woman that I spend more time with then the rest. So all in all I I am having fun. But tonight after a wonderful session I just couldnt sleep. I mean all I could think about was "her" and how is it the woman I am laying next to adores me and wants so many wonderful things (part of it is the initial infactuation) and see me so highly... but the wonderful (sarcasm) ex couldnt and refused to see me like all the women see me now. And I couldnt get it out of my mind. I couldnt get her out of my mind. For the most part I am strong and dont really think about it. but frm time to time I think about it and it just gets stuck in my head. I am not sure exactly why... but for the past couple of days I have not got her out of my head. Now part of me wants to be stupid and call and see how she is doing and such. and then I remember that I really have no reason to care... other than I know that i am not completely over what I went through with her... which I tell anybody that I am seeing. And explain to them that I am not ready for a relationship and such... please help more... thanks again stanchain
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Old 6th February 2007, 9:06 AM   #2
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I was listening to the radio one evening and I think his name is Lou Holtz, he is or was a collage football coach. Anyway he said that it's funny how we will treat are friends & strangers better then we treat our spouses.

He went on to say; we want to impress our friends and we want to impress our friends and the strangers that we meet, but we dump all our flustrations & anger on our spouses. We use our spouse as a sounding board and sometimes we aren't kind when we talk to them & we need to treat them just like a stranger sometimes.

I don't know if this is a good example or not, or maybe its kind of corny but you go to the same restaurant all the time and get the same steak. Then one day you try a new restaurant and you try there steak and it's so much better. They are still the same steak but they were just spiced differently, does that mean your old steak is no good now? Or does that make the new steak better?

The new girl is paying attention to you and giving you that excitement of something new, but once you get down to the bottom of everything it's still just the same old steak, just kicked up a little on the outside.

You have to be carefull of trying to cover up the things you need to learn about yourself with jumping into another relationship. Take the time to read some books and learn who you are, then you will be able to share who you are.

It's not always what we want or need to make us happy, but what can we give to others that will make us/you happy.
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Old 6th February 2007, 10:17 PM   #3
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Pw, great analogy...

I like the reference about treating friends better than our spouses. I was truly guilty of that and that is one thing that I will surely change in my next relationship.

Stan, you have come a long way. Calling her may disappoint you. I wish I had that your groove. Be strong. NC is the best in moving forward. If you really like the new gal, learn more about her and establishing a new friendship will be better than looking for the old one. Good luck.
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Old 7th February 2007, 12:08 AM   #4
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Anything the X had to offer, you can find just as much ~ if not more, just as good if not better with someone else!

There's no shortage of women ~ the planet is covered up with them ~ about 3.6 billion of them. Stateside? About 150 million~ and for the first time in American history ~ 51% of them are single!

What one would abuse ~ another could certainly use!

Move on! There's more women than there is time!

She's had her chance ~there's more good old gals, then there are good old boys!
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Old 7th February 2007, 4:16 AM   #5
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yeah i know

I am not saying that i want her back. what i am saying is that i do find myself thinking about her from time to time and that is the thing that i really do not understand. I mean I am having a good time and doing a lot of different things with my life now but the thing about it is that I do think about her frm time to time and that is the thing that bothers me. I mean I know that I do not want her back there is no doubt about that. It is over and there is no turning back as far as I am concerned. I mean i think i said it at the end of my other post. that I finally did the thing that I needed to do to really move past her and all the BS that she put me through. Just for some odd reason I wanted to hear her voice and see how her life is going. But as you stated before gunny, there is not one single reason to know how she is doing or even to call. And as far as the anology of the steaks... that was priceless. But it also sucked. I mean cause when you really think about it you are absolutely right. I mean one may have more seasoning or less.... but when it is all said and done it is still a steak. And thinking about that it does not give me a whole lot of hope when it comes to that if you want to know the truth.. because the last steak I had before this one... well it was good, but at the end all it did was upset my damn stomach
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Old 7th February 2007, 5:13 AM   #6
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Then Settle It For Yourself

Your solution is easy. Call her, see her, spend time with her. Then a couple of weeks or a month later you will be right back at the point where you began, and that is knowing why you split up in the first place.

You should not necessarily second guess that conviction--your mind went through a lot of analyzing to arrive at your decision to part ways. Sure enough, you will find yourself thinking the same thing after you see her for a while. Barring profound, life-makeover change that is sincere (and not just a bit of week-long theater to try to convince you), she has not changed and will not.

PS The new girl may not be the same "old steak" as PW puts it. She may be a healthier, choicer, leaner, finer cut altogether

(Aggh...women and "meat" analogies....Its a guys's world!)
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Old 7th February 2007, 8:48 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OldEurope View Post

PS The new girl may not be the same "old steak" as PW puts it. She may be a healthier, choicer, leaner, finer cut altogether

(Aggh...women and "meat" analogies....Its a guys's world!)
I'm sorry, I told you it wasn't the best example. Maybe one of the gals could put it in a little better way?

Since she has been part of your life I feel you will always think about her & wonder what she is doing, I think that is just humon nature, but as time goes by those feeling will go away.
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Old 7th February 2007, 11:28 AM   #8
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dont want to

Well you know I am honest with myself and I do not think that spending time with her is possible, or something that I want to do. I mean i miss little things she did and her being close. but to be honest I am dating around 7 different women right now and spending time with her is not that important to me. (and all the women know that I am not looking for anything other than fun. And no I am not a dog only have sex with one). I just want to make sure she is doing alright really. cause although she did me dirty as can be part of me still hopes she id oing ok
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