Went too fast. Can we slow it down & take things slow?

[codergirl]

Both I and this guy I met wanted a friendship (benefits included) and neither of us wanted anything serious. Well, we both became more and more attracted to each other than we had intended. He told me he was attracted to me intellectually as well as physically, and that he had never in his life felt like that about anyone. We talked about him moving in, but had not actually decided to do that because we weren't sure where we were going with all this (I have two young kids). He stayed at my place for a few weeks at the end of which he left deciding things were too intense and getting too serious. He's a great guy, I can tell by the way he treats other people and talks about past loves (he says he's only had 2). I was very sad to see him go, but I knew he had some things to work out in his somewhat chaotic life.

 

That was a few weeks ago, since then he's called me a few times and written an email. So far I've been keeping things light and casual by not calling him a lot (only twice about his check book he left) and only asking him out for his birthday, which I said I would before he left. When I took him home when he left, I had tears in my eyes but I made no big scene. I left and didn't call him until he called me.

 

Today I got a call from him accepting my invitation to go out for his birthday which was this past Sunday (July 9th). We're supposed to work out a day this weekend to get together. He had told me in the past that no matter what happened he would always be my friend. I'm looking at seeing him this weekend as two friends getting together to celebrate a birthday.

 

I can smell a rat from a mile away, I've met plenty and he’s not one. I have no reason to think he'll do anything to hurt me. I'm reasonably certain I can maintain a casual friendship with him even if we sleep together. I think we can back off and just take it slow. We were only together for a little less than a month and we both acknowledged we took things too fast.

 

Is it possible for us to slow it down and re-establish the friendship we started with and go from there? Can we ever “go from there” or will it stay friends with benefits as long as I'm sleeping with him? If that's true, should I not sleep with him this weekend or anytime soon? You’re advice is greatly appreciated.