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A little bit of a winded story but here I go. Was with a woman for 7 years, we had our ups and downs. About a year ago I fell on rough times with work which effected our relationship. She left me quite abruptly, had an engagement ring and was ready for the next step in life. She would contact me every now and then for me to get some random things that I left in the attic. I asked her to drop it off to a friends but she kept "forgetting" and just wanted me to pick it up.

 

Haven't heard from her in about 6 months but recently she started to text me a bunch. (I had recently been promoted with a new company to an upper management position) I ignored it for the better part of a week and a half which I finally responded. We have been talking and went out 2 times, and we agreed to dinner on Friday. In the meantime I found out she broke up with her rebound from me because he shared none of the same goals and aspirations she Hope's for. My main concern is she contacted me and wanted to meet both previous times but

goes from hot to cold quickly. Is this something normal that should be worked threw? Quite confused with all of this which is quite unsettling for me.

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Happy Lemming

So let me get this straight, you "fell on rough times with your job" and she dumped you.

 

You get this great and wonderful promotion with this new company and she wants to come back.

 

Hello... its all about the money!! Your poor she is gone, you get promotion and earn lots of money and she wants to come back. Gold-Digger!

 

If you lost your present job, she'd bail again.

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Beendaredonedat

What do you want with this woman?

Is it to get back with her in a committed way or just to have a casual, sexual relationship with her?

Do you still have feelings for her?

Does she make a good living?

 

Bottom Line, what is your end goal with her and have you asked her what she would like to see happen with the two of you?

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So let me get this straight, you "fell on rough times with your job" and she dumped you.

 

You get this great and wonderful promotion with this new company and she wants to come back.

 

Hello... its all about the money!! Your poor she is gone, you get promotion and earn lots of money and she wants to come back. Gold-Digger!

 

If you lost your present job, she'd bail again.

 

 

It's definitely not about the money, I just struggled with PTSD and a horrible company which sent me down a bad road mentally.

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What do you want with this woman?

Is it to get back with her in a committed way or just to have a casual, sexual relationship with her?

Do you still have feelings for her?

Does she make a good living?

 

Bottom Line, what is your end goal with her and have you asked her what she would like to see happen with the two of you?

 

I'd love a relationship which leads to marriage with her or I probably wouldn't have messaged back. She has a great career as an BSNRN.

 

Just unsure why she would contact me and then go from hot to cold so often.

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Beendaredonedat
I'd love a relationship which leads to marriage with her or I probably wouldn't have messaged back. She has a great career as an BSNRN.

 

Just unsure why she would contact me and then go from hot to cold so often.

Then I wouldn't call her a gold-digger or only after you for your money but rather that she's looking for someone who is equal in financial success.

 

If you want a serious, committed relationship with her then you would do well to talk to her about where she would like to see things go with you. Don't let her break your heart again if she's not hoping for the same things you are.

 

If she goes from hot to cold on you then in the interests of your own emotional well being, you should stop seeing her and then block and delete her so that she can't play with you over and over again.

 

You have to make sure she is on the same page as you and wants what you want to otherwise you are going to lose all of your personal power to her. You don't have to have some serious talk about committing or anything like that but you need to match her interest at this point. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve and let her do some of the initiating so that her actions are showing you that she's as interested as you are.

Edited by Beendaredonedat
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Then I wouldn't call her a gold-digger or only after you for your money but rather that she's looking for someone who is equal in financial success.

 

If you want a serious, committed relationship with her then you would do well to talk to her about where she would like to see things go with you. Don't let her break your heart again if she's not hoping for the same things you are.

 

If she goes from hot to cold on you then in the interests of your own emotional well being, you should stop seeing her and then block and delete her so that she can't play with you over and over again.

 

You have to make sure she is on the same page as you and wants what you want to otherwise you are going to lose all of your personal power to her. You don't have to have some serious talk about committing or anything like that but you need to match her interest at this point. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve and let her do some of the initiating so that her actions are showing you that she's as interested as you are.

 

 

Had not talked to her since yesterday, she canceled the date today. Said "I dont want to force it, I want it to be natural". Time to just let it be.

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Sounds like you're back being her plan B.

Sorry friend. You know I bet someone out there would make you plan A, be someone who treated you as a real partner and help tackle things together.

 

Good luck.

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Let her go completely. She's ok when times are good but with a rough patch she dumps. Not long ter relationship material.

 

You'd be smart to cut off all contact block and move on

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Michelle ma Belle

I'm not one to give ex's second chances, especially if they're the ones to bail.

 

But that's just me.

 

She sounds fickle. You don't need that in your life.

 

I would cut ties with her once and for all and look for someone better suited for you.

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ExpatInItaly

I think you are now the rebound from the guy she just broke up with, OP.

 

I would be extremely cautious. I don't think she's come back around for the right reasons, and as you can see, she's not making a serious attempt at putting things back together with you. She will probably bounce again if her ex comes back, or if she meets a new guy.

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Beendaredonedat
Had not talked to her since yesterday, she canceled the date today. Said "I dont want to force it, I want it to be natural". Time to just let it be.

In that case I'll repeat this advice:

If she goes from hot to cold on you then in the interests of your own emotional well being, you should stop seeing her and then block and delete her so that she can't play with you over and over again.
Zero contact will more quickly get you to that blissful stage of indifference to her.
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Date others while you date her and let her know you are dating others. She dumped you. If she wants you back let her earn it.

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