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Should I reach out in one last final attempt?


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Old 21st February 2019, 6:02 AM   #1
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Should I reach out in one last final attempt?

About a week ago I expressed to my (now ex) partner that I wasn't happy about the fact we never do anything. He is the most amazing person I have ever met and he was perfect in every other way however this one issue was really bugging me.

He then misinterpreted what I said and thought I was saying he wasn't good enough and that I was expecting too much of him and said I was a horrible person for saying such things and he doesnt want anything to do with me. He then immediately blocked me. I tried to call straight away to explain what I meant but my call went unanswered. I sent a text straight after trying to explain that he got what I said mixed up but again, nothing.

Should I try one last time to reach out? I'm not ready to give up on our relationship especially after it was over a misunderstanding. I feel horrible as I should have had this talk in person.

I can only assume he's blocked my number as well so any attempts will probably be useless but we've been together for a few years and we were going to try for a baby this year. I can't let this go so easy.

Please help me.
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Old 21st February 2019, 6:24 AM   #2
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What exactly did you mean by "we never do anything?" And does that not imply your expectations are not being met, in the sense that you wish to be entertained more/better, and that's his responsibility? Were you were saying, hey I need you to up your game buddy because I'm bored and it's your fault? Or perhaps he's overly sensitive.

It doesn't sound to me like this was the entirety of the discord/dissatisfaction you've been expressing; more like the straw that broke the camel's back. Nobody would break off an otherwise great relationship because of one such comment.

If you're blocked your blocked. If he's that resolute, one more time probably won't make any difference. Sounds like he's done.
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Old 21st February 2019, 6:46 AM   #3
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Give him time to simmer down and try again.

Next time you raise an issue, it's imperative you avoid using exaggerated negatives. Given that he's really amazing and you're otherwise satisfied, I'm sure that 'never' is an exaggeration. You must do some things, some times.

Try instead to say what you DO want. "I miss going out to dinner with you. I'd like to do it more often". "I would like to have a nice vacation with you this year". Phrase it as a selling point rather than a criticism and the outcome will be likely to be much better.
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Old 21st February 2019, 8:03 AM   #4
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If it really was a true misunderstanding then giving it time should bring the clarity for both of you.
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Old 21st February 2019, 4:06 PM   #5
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Yes you should reach out again because this was a misunderstanding. Do have a concrete plan. Whining "we never do anything" puts a lot of stress on him. Saying "would you like to do X with me today?" takes the onus off him.

Apologize for giving him the wrong impression about the meaning behind your complaint & talk to him. Really listen to what his expectations for the relationship are.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 5:06 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jupiter92 View Post
About a week ago I expressed to my (now ex) partner that I wasn't happy about the fact we never do anything. He is the most amazing person I have ever met and he was perfect in every other way however this one issue was really bugging me.
Maybe he wanted out and wasn't man enough to pull the plug himself.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 4:29 PM   #7
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Iím sorry to hear about your recent breakup but Iím not sure if answering your question will help bring you to a quicker resolution or really offer the support you need.

If after a couple of attempts, you still cannot reach him, it would seem as if heís either blocked you as you said, or he is ignoring you. However, you might consider this to be a blessing in disguise. If the misunderstanding had occurred after you and your ex had had a baby together, you might feel an entirely different way. I think you would have many more questions facing you as well which would impact how you feel about him and towards your future altogether.

I understand youíre looking for reconciliation or at least an opportunity to be heard; however, we donít always receive the closure from relationships that weíre looking for. Sometimes things work out for the best. Trust your intuition on whether you should make one final attempt to contact him. You exís heart may be softened by now and he might be willing to have a conversation with you. Either way, I think youíve done all you can do for now. Whatís meant for you will be for you. I hope you can experience peace in that and eventually move forward with or without him with greater expectations of better relationships in the future, romantic or otherwise. Blessings, friend!
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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:25 PM   #8
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Consider the possibility that he doesn't want the baby or has mixed feelings about that and is using this as an excuse to distance himself (and possibly leave). Maybe he's still trying to figure out if it's what he wants?
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Old 5th March 2019, 4:15 PM   #9
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New here so this is just my two cents. But if you have history and plans for a baby how does a misunderstanding cause you to break up and him to block you? It seems like a very extreme reaction by him unless youíre not being honest about what exactly you said.
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