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The Break up & The Past


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 18th February 2019, 3:51 PM   #1
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The Break up & The Past

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I would really appreciate your help in my current situation with my ex-bf.

The beginning of my relationship with J, we told each other everything about the past. I had an ugly past relationship and so as j. We were happy for 6 months even though there were some arguments about my past.

We lived together and I tried my very best to care for him in many ways. During our last month together before the breakup, our relationship went downhill. He was old to me because of my past. He told me he can never accept me.

It has almost been a month since we broke up. I just went to his place to spoke to him. I poured my heart out, hoping that he will take a chance with me.

Is a past that important to someone? My past relationship (other exes) was pretty ugly. Was it worth it to end a wonderful relationship? or is he just using an excuse to get rid of me?

Ps, i'm not a sex worker or a hostress
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Old 18th February 2019, 4:10 PM   #2
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Everyone has a past but when you disclose yours to a new person, be discrete. They don't need details. Be vague but honest.

For now, realize that he's a closed minded person.
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Old 18th February 2019, 4:17 PM   #3
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Hi, thanks for your reply. That is a piece of very wise advice however I can't get him back anymore. He was very determined for the breakup and he slept with tons of girls and my number was nowhere near his. We were so happy together and mad for each other it was almost perfect but he was so closed minded. what can I do?
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Old 18th February 2019, 4:24 PM   #4
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What you can do is let him go. Lick your wounds. Then carry on with a new person.

Search these boards for posts about "the number." There are many schools of thought on the subject but I have always been against disclosing the actual number. Anybody who presses for it has sexual hangups & problems with boundaries. I wouldn't lie but I'd be vague my disclosure. My standard answer has always been "Enough so I know what I'm doing, what I like & what I don't like but not so many that I can't look myself in the mirror." Then I turn it around hard on anybody who keeps pressing.

Last edited by d0nnivain; 18th February 2019 at 4:33 PM..
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Old 18th February 2019, 9:13 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGirlWithBaggage View Post
My past relationship (other exes) was pretty ugly. Was it worth it to end a wonderful relationship? or is he just using an excuse to get rid of me?
I guess your relationship probably just timed out for him, and he used your past as an excuse to end it.
BUT saying that some guys do get very hung up on their gfs past and will ruin perfectly good relationships over sometimes something very trivial.
Some guys just cannot stand the thought of their gf having done "things" with other guys... Retroactive jealousy.

It just wasn't meant to be...
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Old 29th March 2019, 11:59 PM   #6
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I disagree with the others. I think you should always be honest about the numbers and whatever else comes up. The only true relationship is one with complete trust and NO deception or hidden agendas. If the person can't live with it then they're not the right person for you. Accept it and go on.
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