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Still living together, silent treatment, miss her


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 18th February 2019, 11:00 PM   #16
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After 7 months trial you know what you need to know.

Why don't you believe it ?
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Old 19th February 2019, 2:36 AM   #17
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Physx, I think you might want to do some research on Borderline Personality Disorder. I am certainly not qualified to diagnose anyone, but it sounds like GF (and possibly you?) may have some tendencies. Please note this is intended as a suggestion to be helpful only - I'm in no way judging you or GF in this matter.
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Old 20th February 2019, 1:48 AM   #18
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Physx, apologies - I realized you mentioned BPD in your previous post, so have thought about it.

If you feel she either has it or has strong tendencies, IMO that is NOT someone you want to be in a relationship. Another major red flag as loving someone like that will almost certainly become a nightmare unless/until they get help, e.g. CBT/DBT. More to think about for you...
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Old 21st February 2019, 2:45 PM   #19
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Physx, apologies - I realized you mentioned BPD in your previous post, so have thought about it.

If you feel she either has it or has strong tendencies, IMO that is NOT someone you want to be in a relationship. Another major red flag as loving someone like that will almost certainly become a nightmare unless/until they get help, e.g. CBT/DBT. More to think about for you...
Thanks for the feedback and yes, I do know a fair amount about psychology. I've studied it off and on over the years. Her mood swings are definitely an indication of some psychological issue, but I am not sure how much was due to current circumstances (she has serious financial issues currently). I kept trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, figuring once we flipped the house and moved into something more affordable, things would improve. However, even if it did, it wouldn't change the fact that I would be stuck dealing with this in the future during stressful situations from time to time.

Her extreme mood swings were one of the top reasons I wanted us to do counseling. I felt she was well worth it so long as we would commit to working on it. However, I don't want that anymore at this point due to the most recent circumstances...

Recently, she reached out to an old ex-girlfriend of mine who is EXTREMELY mentally unstable (BPD, PTSD, abandonement issues, bi-polar, mild schizo, sociopath (including compulsive lying), and more). To make matters worse, this is an ex who still wants me back and my ex-fiance knows this, as she saw all the flirty messages and nudes my ex sent me as soon as her and I had some issues a few months back (ex-girlfriend saw the relationship status change the very same day on my FB, even though she is NOT on my friend's list).

So, of course my ex is doing all she can to make sure I do not get back together with my ex-fiance. Apparently, my ex-girlfriend posted up a, let's say "inappropriate" ad on Craigslist with the ex-fiance's phone number. She also left a negative review for her business online to hurt her financially as well. For some reason, my ex-fiance was credulous enough to believe I'd do something malicious like that, when this whole time, I have made it clear I miss her. She knows I'm not an idiot, but she wouldn't even listen to me when she screamed at me about it the other day.

There is absolutely nothing I can do to get her to believe me at this point, and it usually takes people a few weeks if not months to realize my ex is crazy (she is an extremely charismatic sociopath initially). It has also made me lose pretty much all interest in trying on my end, as my ex-fiance is believing everything my ex-girlfriend is feeding her over me.

With how hostile my ex-fiance started getting towards me, I left the house. I have resorted to staying at a hostel until I have somewhere else to go. I wasn't about to keep getting yelled at when I didn't do any of it. She will figure out the truth eventually, but by then, it will be way too late. Maybe months or years down the road we will meet again (IF she got help by then), but for now, I am done being treated like dirt.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 12:26 PM   #20
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... but for now, I am done being treated like dirt.
Hopefully forever.

A bummer what the other one did, but it is what it is and can't be changed now. Maybe it's all for the best if it let you see "the real her". At any rate, definitely time to walk away from all the drama, get your head back on straight and move on, hopefully to something a lot saner.
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