MeadowFlower Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 Has anyone ever heard of a guy dumper coming back to the dumpee to get back together, when at the time of dumping he had already found someone else he liked and had developed feelings for her? That's a long sentence.... Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 I am so sorry you are going through all of this and feeling so much pain. This sounds like the crap my high school bf did to me my senior year. I was so young and completely brainwashed by my own dysfunctional family that it I went back to the dumper only to be hurt 100 times worst the next time around. It is best to not think about getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 Has anyone ever heard of a guy dumper coming back to the dumpee to get back together, when at the time of dumping he had already found someone else he liked and had developed feelings for her? That's a long sentence.... Of course it happens. But the 2nd-time relationship usually doesn't last long. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 In the scenario you describe, I don't see it turning out well. If two people break up because of logistics, timing, etc...there may be a chance. But I wouldn't be the woman he comes back to because he went out to play the field and failed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Twizzlestick Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 Has anyone ever heard of a guy dumper coming back to the dumpee to get back together, when at the time of dumping he had already found someone else he liked and had developed feelings for her? That's a long sentence.... Yes! A family member. He chucked in a serious marriage for someone. The other Rele tanked shortly after. He meekly asked to reconcile but his heart wasn’t in it, and his wife didn’t want him back either. I think some times the other partner cools off when they realise that person is now all theirs warts and all. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 (edited) Yeah , seen it in both quite a few times. The good old grass is greener syndrome is a bit different to other types of break ups because it's often not as green as he or she thought in the end and they realize what they had before and regret throwing it away. But l wouldn't take someone back under those circumstances myself. Edited January 26, 2019 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 Do dumpers come back? Of course and in my own experience, more often than not. Usually they come back after I don't want them anymore though. Somehow they know... Every successful story of reconciliation that I know of involves a long period of NC (at least a year). People that get back together after a week or two rarely work out because all the same issues are there. If there are logistical issues, that's one thing. But if it's based on personality or bad behavior by one or the other, it takes a long time. The bad feelings surrounding the break up have to settle down and mellow and that takes a LONG time. As much as a comfort as it is to imagine that an ex will come back (believe me...I've been there so many times myself, wanting this) it's best to assume that this will not happen. If nothing else, somehow they know not to come back when you want them to. When you've moved on, and I mean REALLY moved on, that's when they show up. Here's a story that might make you feel better and illustrate what I'm talking about. A friend of mine met this woman on a plane. She was going to see a man she hadn't seen in 20 years. They had dated when they were in their early 20s for a year or so. He was Swedish (or Norwegian, can't recall) and was living in the States. He had to go back home due to visa issues. They kept in touch at first, but this was the 90s and it was harder than it is now. They gradually stopped talking. After a year or so, she reached out to him and he told her he was getting married. She was devastated because she still loved him. They cut off contact. Twenty years or so go by. She finds him on Facebook and sends him a message. He responds and they start talking. Turns out, he is now divorced. The next several weeks they talk more and more and realize they still have a connection. He tells her he realized that he made a mistake in breaking it off with her. When she met my friend, she was on her way to see him for the first time after 20 years. So it can happen. But not after a week. And you shouldn't put your life on hold waiting. Link to post Share on other sites
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