jodietay25 Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 So me and my ex was together for just over 2 years and we have a little boy together (8 months) and yes I know we wasn’t together long before I got pregnant he wasn’t planned but I wouldn’t change a thing! Anyway fast forward 2 months ago my ex broke up with me during an argument. A month after he broke up with me he told me he regrets everything and wants to try again! Literally 2 weeks later we have another argument and he tells me he doesn’t love me and regrets trying again so once again we break up! Now a month on he’s acting like we are mates and he’s loving life yet here I am wallowing and wishing he would come back even though I know he doesn’t deserve me! All he’s bothered about is going out with his mates now! You wouldn’t think he is almost 30! I just feel so crappy constantly sat here saying to myself in a few months he will realise how good he had it with me but he just doesn’t deserve another chance and I know this ? how long did it take everyone in a similar position to start seeing there ex in a new light of not being bothered by them? Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 So me and my ex was together for just over 2 years and we have a little boy together (8 months) and yes I know we wasn’t together long before I got pregnant he wasn’t planned but I wouldn’t change a thing! Anyway fast forward 2 months ago my ex broke up with me during an argument. A month after he broke up with me he told me he regrets everything and wants to try again! Literally 2 weeks later we have another argument and he tells me he doesn’t love me and regrets trying again so once again we break up! Now a month on he’s acting like we are mates and he’s loving life yet here I am wallowing and wishing he would come back even though I know he doesn’t deserve me! All he’s bothered about is going out with his mates now! You wouldn’t think he is almost 30! I just feel so crappy constantly sat here saying to myself in a few months he will realise how good he had it with me but he just doesn’t deserve another chance and I know this ? how long did it take everyone in a similar position to start seeing there ex in a new light of not being bothered by them? He needs to be contributing financially to his child and spending time with his child, not going around partying all the time. Perhaps you should see an attorney and get some legal advice regarding child support and custody. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 Well, he wasn't ready to be a father, so he should have used his own birth control if you weren't. I'm glad you are delighted with your baby, but this guy is not ready, so it's a sad fact. My advice to you for the time being is to take him to court and get court-ordered child support payments from him. I don't know where you live. In the U.S., it's done through the state and they take the money and give it to you. As it should be. You shouldn't have to please him to get the money. I would also consider making him take partial custody so you have some time for a social life and to work yourself, as you are likely faced with raising this child and being the primary caretaker since he isn't interested. He is not ready for a child, so he will not like that and will likely foist the child onto his mother or a new girlfriend, so you just have to do what is best for you and the child in that regard. It may be that when the child is about two, he will do better with it, though some people never improve about watching children or consider it women's work. What you should not do is accept that he continues running around with friends while leaving you sole responsibility for taking care of that little baby. You cannot get that started or it will never end, and you must know that. He will know you'll put up with it. So you go file for child support so you have money for the child and then decide if you want him to take some custody so you can have a life like he's having or if that's too risky for the child. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 No guarantee he'll ever decide you're worth coming back to. I wouldn't sit there waiting around. He's got responsibilities, make sure he keeps them. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyRose Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 Your ex doesn’t appreciate the life he has with you. He is mostly missing the social life and the perks of being single. Having a flakey man isn’t healthy for your child. Have him accept his responsibilities as a father but it’s not worth getting him back. If he’s already 30, this is a bad sign he’s still not growing up yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted December 8, 2018 Share Posted December 8, 2018 (edited) He needs to be contributing financially to his child and spending time with his child, not going around partying all the time. Perhaps you should see an attorney and get some legal advice regarding child support and custody. Excuse me, but child support isn’t a legal muzzle that keeps one from partying all the time and forces one to spend time with a child. And custody doesn’t seem to be an issue. Good luck getting a court to order and enforce required visitation. Edited December 8, 2018 by Simple Logic Link to post Share on other sites
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