EvilChicobo Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Well, I'm at the point where I feel I just need to let it all go. As much as I love my ex, and as much as I want to be with her, I don't think I'm getting anywhere. We had dated for a year, and she broke up with me on the grounds that she just wasn't happy with things anymore. She wanted to be on her own and find herself, experience her life. Lately I can't help but just feel that it's me. I've been so depressed lately and I just want it to stop. I want to be me again. She so badly wants to stay friends with me, and I just can't take the mixed feelings from her. She shows me she still has feelings, but then at the same time, shows me she wants to push me away. Last night I had told her that I just need to go on with my life, that I will wait for her, but I cannot wait forever. And she just sat there, as if contemplating some giant picture. And she looked at me and said "I don't want to hold you back from moving on, what can i do to help you move on?" It just felt like, she doesn't want me out of her life. I just don't know what to do anymore. She's leaving for England in a few weeks, she'll be there for a year, and then she wants to come back and move to where I'll be living. I don't know if before she leaves I should tell her, "this is it, this is the last time we're going to see eachother". I feel like I should do that, as hard as it is. Because I want her so badly, but I just can't be selfish and try to keep loving her back to me when she's so confused. She tells me she doesn't know what she wants. I mean we've been broken up for a month and she still hangs out with me, we've made out, almost even had sex, but I told her no. I'm just sooooo confused. I wish i could just figure all this **** out. I mean do I just let her go and never see her again? Or do I try my best to be there for her as the friend she wants, but always loving her. Do I hope that one day she'll want me back again? Do I wait, or just let it all go and try to pick up my life without her? I saw my life with this girl, I never ever felt so strongly for anyone, never clicked so well. I just don't want to do something I'll end up regretting, and look back and feel stupid for letting the one fish I always wanted, get away from me. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 evil....what are you hoping for here....that she will tell you she loves you and wants to be with you and then goes to England for a year and saves herself for you? Do you really want that? do you want to maintain a commitment for the next year with someone who one...won't be there with you, and two.....broke up with you a moth ago. Isn't it better to just relax a bit, stay friendly with her while she is gone and go about your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EvilChicobo Posted July 16, 2005 Author Share Posted July 16, 2005 sorry I didn't mean to make it sound like I want her to tell me she loves me before she goes... My plan is to go about my life while she's gone, and then when she comes back, hopefully maybe things can be given another chance. I have no intention of getting back together with her before she leaves. That wouldn't be fair to either of us. I guess right now I'm just struggling with the fact that she'll be gone for a year. I'm not sure if that makes any sense at all or not. Link to post Share on other sites
lostNconfusedx10 Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Bro, she's just as confused as you right now. It sounds to me that her going away for a year has her confused as what to do. She doesnt want to Leave the country with a boyfriend. It would be much harder to leave a boyfriend behind than to still keep the same contact with you without strings attached. Put yourself in her shoes. She still makes out with you and almost had sex so there is definetly still something there. If you were her and still liked you, what would be easier? To go on almost the same way as when you were going out and then leave for england without having to deal with a breakup at that point or break it off early, continue with things the way they are and leave without having to deal with a breakup at that point. She says she wants to move back to where you are living when she gets back which if truthfull can be a good thing. But alot can happen in a year. She could find someone else or change her mind about where she wants to live when she gets back. But she will come back. She wont change citizenship and stay there. My advice, as hard as it might be on you and how much you want to just say something vendictfull and put a monkey wrench in things to make it easier on yourself, dont. If you love the girl and really want to be with her then you just have to let her do what she wants to do. As much as it might suck, keep things the way they are and assure her that she needs to figure herself out and that as much as you love her and want to be with her, you wont try and hold her back. Then just try to move on. In the next year keep contact but dont have any expectations. Date. Date other girls and try to have a good time with it. You might find someone that suits you better and you might also find out that after dating other people you'll REALLY realize that she's the one for you. Her moving away temporarily is really a tough situation and i feel for you. But realize this, if she has her mind made up, there is nothing you can do to change it.........so dont try or you will only push her away. Let things happen the way they are, attempt to move on and hope for the best for yourself. Whether it be you find someone else, or she comes back and you guys continue like nothing ever happened. Just be prepared for a long and bumpy road. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EvilChicobo Posted July 17, 2005 Author Share Posted July 17, 2005 Originally posted by lostNconfusedx10 She says she wants to move back to where you are living when she gets back which if truthfull can be a good thing. But alot can happen in a year. She could find someone else or change her mind about where she wants to live when she gets back. But she will come back. She wont change citizenship and stay there. Actually... she has duel citizenship there, lol! See her mom was born there. One reason I know she's going there is because of her mom (her mom passed away a few years ago and my ex always admired her because she lived life to the fullest. Her mom had always wanted to take her to live in England and experience it). But that you soooo much. You've really helped me see things clearer and you have such great advice. Everything you said just clicked inside of my head and I know I can be there for her still, and still move on with my life Thanks so much! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts